How do I explain a DNA test to my DS?

[dnadilemma]

I have name changed as it's a sensitive subject.

Basically my DS's father has recently been in touch via solicitor requesting a DNA test on DS. This man has never seen DS and I havent seen him since I told him I was pregnant. I told him at the time that I had a termination booked, which I did, but I ended up changing my mind and not going through with it. I know that he was aware I continued with the pregnancy as at the time we had friends in common and they told him.

Anyway 10 years has passed. And now I get this letter. WTF !!

I have no problems with having the DNA test....why he's decided to have one now I dont know. But how do I explain it to DS?
I have been truthful with DS about his father...his name, where he's from etc, but DS has never shown any interest in meeting him. I assume this is what this man is wanting if he wants a DNA.
Also I am very pissed off that he seems to think it's fine to get in touch after so long and start making demands when he has never shown an interest before.

I don't think you are under any obligation to agree unless there's a court order! Can you contact this man to ask why he wants this test done now? Does he give you money for your DS?

Sounds very unreasonable to send this letter out of the blue. If he were hoping for a reconciliation, one would've thought he'd have handeled the situation more sympathetically/at least spoken to you first about it!

What an arse!!

Not sure how you would explain it to a 10 year old. I dont think DNA tests are obtrusive at all - they just require a mouth swab so you might be able to get away with offering no explanation at all (should you agree to have the test done, that is)

I suppose I couldn contact the solicitors that sent the letter and try and find out some details. I have no address or anything for him....I'm suprised he knew mine as I've moved. I have a feeling he must have got it from a friend of a friend iykwim. he has never paid a penny. No birthday or christmas cards or presents.

What else does the letter say? The least he could do is explain why on earth you should do as he requests!