need name of book about competetive mums

[Mishee]

When I was pregnant I was lent a fiction book about competitive mums, where one mum so wanted her child to go to a particular secondary school she painted spots on herself and did the paper for her daughter. I am desperate to remember the name of the book as I want to buy it for a friend. I just remember it had a really odd title. PLEASE does anyone know what it is called?
Thanks

May Contain Nuts by John O'Farrell?

may contain nuts? bit of a silly book

That's it! Thanks so much. It is a silly book, but I'm caught up in a group of mummy friends who always slip into conversation what their two-and-a-half year old can do. Knowing the alphabet, swimming a width unaided etc and I have a slow-at-everything (but utterly gorgeous) child. I wanted to get the book for my friend who isn't in the competitive mummy group but who I joke with about it all. Can stop racking my brain - had thought there was a penguin or pigeon in the title - don't know where that came from!