Absolutely fuming at what I perceive to be lazy parenting causing my daughter to be injured today

[Blottedcopybook]

When I take my kids out anywhere, I can appear rude in company because I'm extremely easily distracted because I watch my kids like a hawk. I don't let them behave like little brats both because I want them to grow up and have respect for people around them, and I don't want anybody to be able to judge me as a lazy or bad parent. I don't consider the local soft play to be somewhere I can dump and ignore my little horrors as they rampage around the place with no consideration or care for anyone else, I actually watch what they're up to.

I'm just back from A&E with a concussed, grumpy and sore 22 month old DD. We were at the soft play this afternoon and she had come over to where I was sitting to get a drink. As she turned to go back and play, a group of half a dozen boys aged roughly 5-6 years old came running down from the SEATING AREA (not the soft play section) with such speed that when the ringleader hit DD (with his hands out, which was dreadfully kind of him) he knocked her off her feet and she flew a good three feet backwards before landing on the back of her head. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she vomited before starting screaming, I was leaping out of my seat at this point and angrily told the boy (without shouting, I might add) that he was running far too fast and should have more consideration for the other children. At this point, the group of adults with these little sh!ts were maybe three or four picnic tables behind me and not one of them moved until I gave this child into trouble. Not one of them asked if she was okay, or if they could help me. I'm 7 months pregnant and was there with my three children.

DD was BY FAR not the smallest kid there. We had to leave to go to A&E and getting our stuff together took a good 10 minutes during which time this group were in the baby & toddler section throwing balls at each other and generally being rowdy which is FINE for a soft play environment, but specifically why there are age-specific areas. None of the parents intervened, none of them apologised for DD getting hurt and none of them offered to help me get out to her car with one screaming hurt toddler, another screaming upset toddler who was frightened and worried about his sister and the 7 year old carrying my two bags.

I am so unbelievably angry.

Thanks if you read all that, I don't really have anyone to rant to tonight!

by MsBeauregarde "I can't believe some people would really consider me a bad or a lazy parent because I'm not parenting other people's children."

byMsBeauregarde "I take mine to a soft play centre. Occassionally. I make it quite clear that they are not to look at me, come near me, ask me anything, speak to me, ask for anything. No eye contact with mummy or an hour ok??

cafe latte+paper+don't look up=not a BAD afternoon"

I consider you lazy because you don't appear to look after your own kids let alone anyone else's. Shame on you.

my ds was once scalded with hot soup in a soft play centre after an older kid spilt it over him

the mum kept chatting, never bothered to apologise

the manager took over, rushed ds to toilets to run his scald under cold water, I was in shock and a bit helpless

soft play is great if you are either age 6 and over or aged 3 and have Frank Bruno tendencies/anything else age wise forget it

I don't think I am absurdly naive, but I can leave my children unsupervised for 30 mins or so without them jumping up and down on toddlers' heads

Do you know what I think is the worst thing about this? Okay the rowdy boys were older perhaps the parents didn't think they needed as much supervision and they got over excited and knocked the OP's DD flying - I can see how this can happen and while not great it is an accident after all.

However, the fact that no-one helped the pregnant OP with her vomiting, injured toddler I find absolutely disgusting!

What a sad state of affairs.

Kitty, I know you can't be serious, you're only trying to start a ruck, but even so, get a grip.

My children are 3 and a half and nearly 7. If I take them to soft play it'd be in the afternoons. For the last 7 odd years I've been watching my children every second like a hawk. Now they are a bit older they are NICE, POLITE, decent children who would be looking out for smaller children, not trying to crush them.

So if you bring tiny children to a soft play centre in the afternoon, then one, that wasn't very well thought out, and 2) do not tell me that I am a lazy parent because I'm not watching your tiny children.

You can not actually be serious expecting me to stand over my older, well-behaved children just so that you can read your magazine.

Tskkk

msB I am being serious.

Think on the fact that you have no idea what your kids are up to when you're purposefully looking the other way.

So you think parental responsibility in a play area stops at 7 and 3.5? You are fed up of having to mind your own kids 'cos you've done it for 7 years, so now some other poor sod has to look after their children AND keep a look out for yours?

No you do not get time off you know fgs You are telling me that at3.5 and 7 you can leave then to their own devices?
Sorry to have to inform you that they still need supervising and it is your responsibility to do it. All children in soft play areas need an adult to be an overseer who doesn't leave their kids to fend for themselves whilst they pretend they haven't got any kids to look after.

I've seen a number of kids with mothers who spend the entire time with their heads buried in a crappy mag completely oblivious to what their little, well behaved darlings are up to

It's because of parents like you that parents like me always have to be on their guard, Take some responsibility for YOUR kids don't make it someone else's job

You are a lazy parent because you cannot be bothered to look after your own kids

I agree with schneeby, it's awful that nobody helped you.

IME you don't see many parents of 7 year olds physically shadowing their children at play centres - if all parents did this, space would be very tight!

By that age, you'd expect parents not to keep a constant eye or be within a few feet of their offpspring. Not so sure about a 3 and a half year old - both my sons at that age needed some watching and some standing over.

But think the onus is on the parents of the tiny tots to be vigilent at playcentres. It is not the responsiblity of parents with older children to ensure the tiny children are safe.

I remember how much my son wanted to join in older boys football games in our local park. He was around 4 at the time and the boys I guess were around 12 - 15 years old. If he ran on their pitch they tolerated him, but were naturally much faster and bigger than him. I couldn't let him do it. It was simply too dangerous for him to be running around with them, even if they were careful.They were there to play a fast physical game, not to be bad, not to pick fights, but putting my son in that situation was too much of a risk.

tigermoth I agree with you.

It is up to the parents of smaller children to ensure that they are safe.
And I don't think you should be shadowing a 7 year old either BUT neither should you sit in a corner completely ignoring your kids, having no idea what they are up to. It is laziness.

Kittymum of pfb, take a fucking valium.

It's your job to watch your children and make sure they come to no harm.

You'd be standing right over your children anyway I presume, because anything less is 'lazy' , so give me a break, expecting me to also stand there staring at your children! How ridiculous.

It's YOUR job to look after YOUR tiny children. I have done that hovering over my children not more than 3 feet away for the last 7 years.

Now I get to sit down and read the paper. And for all your pomposity, I bet you do the same too when the time comes (if your children are as well behaved and gentle as mine are). If you remember this in a few years I wonder if you'll have the humility to cringe.

MsB I have 6 kids aged nearly 2 years to 10 years.

I do not expect you to look after mine, I do that one well enough.

Nope, I do not read papers when I have kids to look after

I do however, expect you to look after yours, something you are clearly not doing that is why you are lazy.

kids will be kids - its all out of proportion. these things happen - get over it

oh for gods sake why is everyone getting stressed for!! my ds loves softplay and of course i watch him but i do have a latte!! i also know i cant hover over him all the time, is uqd like cod was then?

oh for gods sake why is everyone getting stressed for!! my ds loves softplay and of course i watch him but i do have a latte!! i also know i cant hover over him all the time, is uqd like cod was then?

Can I just say that anyone who is 7 months pregnant and still has the energy to take their 3 children to a soft play centre gets my admiration.

true, true. hi kerry hope you ok

GaribaldiGirl Honestly, I took them because their morning gymnastics class (which wipes them out for the afternoon) was cancelled and they were bouncing off the walls since it was raining. I can't really manage the park at this stage because I just can't be on top of both the toddlers in such a vast expanse whereas soft play seemed logically to be a happy medium. I just hadn't factored in the older kids!

Ah well. Sore lesson learned anyway and we won't be back out of school hours.

Thanks to everyone who asked after DD, she's absolutely fine now in herself and the bruise/lesion on her scalp has faded well. She spent most of Friday either teary and wanting cuddles or asleep which was terrifying though - you'd have thought with two rough and tumble boys I'd be used to head injuries but this was her first major incident and I can't believe how much it's shook me up.

hi! did the manager get you to fill out accident or incident form? they should have done this as you could make a claim as your daughter was injured...i dont mean for financila reasons. i would also write a letter of complaint to the place. and express that other parent should be made aware that they are responsible for their children!
it bugs me more when older siblings are left to take care of younger siblings and they are both brats. i really wanted to scream at some parents last time, as teenagers were in the toddler area. in the end i did ask them to move to which the reply was we are playing ball, we need the space.

There will always be bigger kids ...in the park ...at soft play ..at school ..thats life accidents happen

minx- FFA in Mac? We love it too, can't stand HOH! OP I hope you and your daughter feel better by now, and you have your feet up!

Yes that's the one, so clean and relaxing compared to HoH!

Sympathy to the op. The parents should have spoken to the children concerned and explained what they had done, I would have made them say sorry and asked if you were ok.
Lots of assumptions on here about it only being "chav" lower class parents who allow their kids to run riot when in the company of others. In my experience it is often those who consider themselves and their kids to be too well mannered that don't actually watch their kids and thus allow them to "run riot" harming and terrorising other kids, but they seem to do it in a much more sneaky way eg in the actual play area where no-one can see.
I have often had to get up to other people's kids.
Think the old adage applies both to kids and animals: they are only adorable to their own owner/parent to everyone else they are seen as a pain in the arse.

Btw to the person who wrote about lazy mums reading the Sun. It would not matter to me if they were reading War and Peace, if a kid attacked my child and said parent sat on arse I would still think "Shit parent-no wonder kid behaves like a bloody hooligan!"

Kitty, I suggest you stay away from softplay areas.

Lunamoon2, true, there is an assumption that only chav parents let their children run wild at soft play centres. Not my assumption. Twice it was suggested to me that whilst I wasn't watching my children I was reading some trashy low brow magazine. I wouldn't waste my time.

Just because you take your eyes off your children doesn't mean that they immediately turn into feral beasts.

I don't about your children, but I can take my eyes off my children for a few minutes. It's because I've been bending over backwards to instill manners and a sense of responsibility in to them that I can do this. It isn't easy.

My children sat through an hour of church this morning, good as gold. Kittyunwise you don't know what you're talking about describing me as a lazy parent. You are talking absolute crap on the internet, you're not the first, it's not a crime, but what you say to me is still crap. You're all fired up and directing insults at me. I hope it makes you feel better about yourself. But you're an hundred miles off course telling me I'm a lazy parent.