Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Really really need some advice

59 replies

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 10:45

I've name changed because a number of my neighbours know my normal posting name and I don't want to upset the children any more than necessary.

My neighbour has 2 children - a 13 year old DS with special needs and a 5 year old DD. This morning I was taking DD to nursery and noticed the 5 year old walking down the road by herself. I stopped to talk to her and noticed she was wearing dirty clothes, her hair was clerly not brushed and she looked as if she'd been crying. I asked if her mum was cathing her up and she said she didn't know where her mum was and that she'd been away for a couple of nights. She said her brother had already gone to school on the mini bus. She said she'd not had breakfast as she couldn't reach the cereal so I took her back inside. The state of the house was DISGUSTING (rats droppings on surfaces, clothes, old magazines, old food every where) and there was no edible food. I took her home and fed her and she was clearly starving. She said she'd not had any supper last night either. I brushed her hair, washed her face and walked her to school where she'll at least be safe for now.

What do I do next? Should I phone the schools or should I phone social services? I never imagined this sort of situation and I am at a loss.

Crying thinking about the poor children. I can't let them go home to that. My house is no show piece but it looks immaculate next to this one

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EllieG · 04/03/2009 10:49

Phone social services. Or police. Now. Neglect is a very serious issue - anything could happen to those children, but is hard to act if ss aren't informed when is actually going on and children are home alone and not being looked after. They will need the evidence - don't tidy the house at all.

EllieG · 04/03/2009 10:53

Sorry to hammer it home but I work as a social worker in child protection - this kind of thing needs people to report it or goes unseen...then it all comes to a head and people blame ss, but these children are often invisible until something happens to them it seems - the little, quiet, smelly children at the back of the class with no mates. No bruises or marks so no major alarm bells, but untold damage over the years to their physical/mental/emotional health and wellbeing.

Rubyrubyruby · 04/03/2009 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

muffle · 04/03/2009 10:57

I would start with the police - you have found a lost child with no one apparently caring for her - they will alert SS I would think, but something needs to be done immediately in case the mother is not back for end of school time. And also it's possible something bad has happened to the mother.

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 10:58

Thank you Ellie, I don't know in a way why I'm even asking. I KNOW its all wrong. The poor litle girl even asked me why the bread didnn't ahve green bits on it. I'll phone social services if I can find their number. If not I'll walk to the school and insist on speaking to the head teacher and ask his help. So angry with myself. I saw her by herself yesterday morning too but just assumed her mum was catching her up

OP posts:

Rubyrubyruby · 04/03/2009 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missblythe · 04/03/2009 11:00

Oh dear, how awful.

If I were you, I would phone SS and also the school.

If no-one picks her up from school this afternoon, I imagine that the school will have to call SS anyway, so it will be helpful if you have already made them aware of the sitiation at home.

EllieG · 04/03/2009 11:00

If you can't get through to ss try police. Poor little girl. Thank goodness she has a lovely safe neighbour like you. Sorry to sound patronising but - really well done. You've really helped that little girl today by doing this.

EllieG · 04/03/2009 11:02

Will you post later tell me what happens please?

bellavita · 04/03/2009 11:02

What an awful situation.

In our primary school, at 5, the children are not allowed out into the playground on their own, the teacher lets the children out one by one when their mum/dad/carer can be seen.

I take it they just let the kids out?

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 11:04

bellavita I've been wondering who's been picking her up from school too. I will be fuming if school have been letting her out by herself.

OP posts:

bellavita · 04/03/2009 11:07

I know you probably found the circumstances a lot to take in this morning, but did it not cross your mind when you took her into school to go straight to the Head?

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 11:11

Perhaps I should have. My first priortity was to get her somewhere safe. I also had to get my DD to nursery and go into work. I'm on my break now.

OP posts:

bellavita · 04/03/2009 11:20

If you put into google "Social Services" and the area you are in, it will bring the necessary info up?

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 11:21

I've just phoned social services. They've taken all the details I can give them and said they'll look into it.

I'm going to phone the school now

OP posts:

mistlethrush · 04/03/2009 11:21

Can you ring the head now?

mistlethrush · 04/03/2009 11:22

Sorry, crossed posts there - well done!

compo · 04/03/2009 11:23

maybe the 16 year old has been picking her up from school so the school doesn't realise?
have you phoned the police yet?

bellavita · 04/03/2009 11:24

compo - there isn't a 16 year old, the boy is 13 with special needs who gets picked up by a mini bus.

Rubyrubyruby · 04/03/2009 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WantThisWantThat · 04/03/2009 11:28

I really hope everything works out for the family. I'm glad you have been able to help make a step in the right direction. What a lot to deal with, for everyone all round.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 04/03/2009 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsMattie · 04/03/2009 11:35

This is extreme neglect.

You must tell the school and get assurances from them that they will contact social services and/or the police, or else you will.

MrsMattie · 04/03/2009 11:35

Sorry, just seen you are doing just that. Well done.

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 11:36

The head was unavailable but I managed to speak to the deputy head who was very kind and promised to contact social services and the 13 year old's school herself.

sitting here with tears running down my face. Those poor poor children I just want to hold them and keep them safe. I have moved from being angry with their mum to very concerned for her. I dont know what to think.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3