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Parenting

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Original poster

Really really need some advice

59 replies

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 10:45

I've name changed because a number of my neighbours know my normal posting name and I don't want to upset the children any more than necessary.

My neighbour has 2 children - a 13 year old DS with special needs and a 5 year old DD. This morning I was taking DD to nursery and noticed the 5 year old walking down the road by herself. I stopped to talk to her and noticed she was wearing dirty clothes, her hair was clerly not brushed and she looked as if she'd been crying. I asked if her mum was cathing her up and she said she didn't know where her mum was and that she'd been away for a couple of nights. She said her brother had already gone to school on the mini bus. She said she'd not had breakfast as she couldn't reach the cereal so I took her back inside. The state of the house was DISGUSTING (rats droppings on surfaces, clothes, old magazines, old food every where) and there was no edible food. I took her home and fed her and she was clearly starving. She said she'd not had any supper last night either. I brushed her hair, washed her face and walked her to school where she'll at least be safe for now.

What do I do next? Should I phone the schools or should I phone social services? I never imagined this sort of situation and I am at a loss.

Crying thinking about the poor children. I can't let them go home to that. My house is no show piece but it looks immaculate next to this one

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bellavita · 04/03/2009 11:40

Is the mum someone you would normally see out and about as a neighbour?

bellavita · 04/03/2009 17:57

any update?

Lmccrean · 04/03/2009 18:13

Can you think of the last time you saw the mum? Obv, the kids are a top priority, but what if something has happened to the mother I take it the dad is out of the picture?

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Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 19:15

The children haven't come home and the house appears to be empty. The school rung me back to let me know that a social worker had come to the school and that they were investigating. She asked me if I knew where the mum was or if I knew how to contact their dad and I had to say I didn't.

I don't really know the mum very well, they only moved to the area recently and she's not really the sort of person I'd socialise with. I'd never been in her house before today.

One of my neighbours told me she saw the police calling there earlier. She thinks they went inside. She wanted to know if I knew what it was about but I didn't say much.

OP posts:

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 04/03/2009 19:20

Ellie - do you think they'll have taken the children into care? What else might have hapened? Am I allowed to find out where they are? I'd like to be able to offer them some support if I can, feeling so bad for them

OP posts:

KingCanuteIAm · 04/03/2009 20:16

OMD, I doubt they can tell you much really although they may reassure you they are being taken care of. Perhaps you could call the school tomorrow and let them know you want to help if you can. That way they will let the SS know as they will be in contact with SS regularly.

Well done BTW, it is great that you went out of the way for children in need - I can think of quite a few people who would have felt it was none of their business.

OnlyWantsOne · 04/03/2009 21:05

well done you for doing some thing, plenty of people dont...

those poor kids

Original poster

outofmydepth123 · 05/03/2009 09:17

I was thinking I could at least send a bag of clothes and some toys for the 5 year old. She's looks almost the same size as my DD who is big for her age and this girl was small. DD has far too many clothes anyway!

I gave her one of DD's coats yesterday as she didn't to have one and it fitted fine.

Still no sign of their mum.

OP posts:

Rubyrubyruby · 05/03/2009 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bellavita · 05/03/2009 10:17

Doesn't sound too good does it re the mum

Rubyrubyruby · 05/03/2009 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bellavita · 05/03/2009 10:25

It does make you wonder...

MarmadukeScarlet · 05/03/2009 10:27

You sound like a very good person x

Rubyrubyruby · 05/03/2009 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morningsun · 05/03/2009 10:29

just want to say well done for helping them.
If the mum is missing/away the police will investigate that too won't they.
You did really well.
Do you think the police will interview you?

2pt4kids · 05/03/2009 10:32

What a sad situation.
You ahve done the right thing here. I hope that the Mum turns up safe too.

EllieG · 05/03/2009 12:31

Hi sorry not around yesterday - tbh if there were no other relatives or close friends to care for the children they should have taken those kids in to care, if the situation was as bad as described. It might be only for a assessment period if Mum is sick for example, but she is clearly not capable of looking after them at present.
Can you call the school and find out if they are OK? Or ss? If I received a phone call like this I would be cool with telling you whether they were OK, and taking the clothes and toys as is lovely gesture.
Is brilliant what you did - too many people think 'none of my business' or 'there must be an explanation' - you did so well helping those poor children.

outofmydepth12 · 06/03/2009 12:37

I just phoned the school. They said that the children were looked after by social services for a night but have now gone to their grandmother.

They also said they now know where the mum is but didn't think it was appropritate to tell me. They did reassure me she was safe though.

EllieG · 06/03/2009 13:09

Oh that's so good to hear. Glad they are safe and well now

bellavita · 06/03/2009 13:42

Fingers crossed things work out for this family.

lljkk · 06/03/2009 13:45

You did good, Outofmydepth12.

Littlefish · 06/03/2009 21:09

Oh well done Outofmydepth. Well done for following it through and taking such positive action.

outofmydepth12 · 06/03/2009 21:36

Thanks everyone.

Well I just got a bit of a surprise earlier this evening. There was a knock at the door and I opened it to find the grandmother on the doorstep. She told me that her grand daugther said I'd stopped to help her and given her breakfast then walked her to school so she guessed it was me who called social services. She'd come to thank me and to tell me that they'd finally located the mum in Jamaica on holiday. To say she was FUMING with her is an understatement . She told me both the children are very distressed but she and her husband are doing what she can to look after them. She said the police would probably want to talk to me at some point which I'm obviously happy to do.

Just so glad I poked my nose in when I did. Apparantly the mum had gone for ten days. Anything could have happened to those poor children. The grandmother was a lovely lady and obviously really concerned for them.

I'm reeling with the whole thing, I never ever imagined getting tangled up in somethng like this, its the kind of thing that only ever happens in the newspapers.

Caz10 · 06/03/2009 21:46

and

Outofmydepth that is just AWFUL. Thank goodness you met that little girl, 2 nights was bad enough, imagine after ten...

Totally shocked. Well done you for doing what you did.

cikecaka · 06/03/2009 21:47

Oh thank the lord you had the courage to ring social services, heaven alone knows what would have happened otherwise. The poor children

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