Often when we are out people start talking to my children, making a fuss of them etc. Dd (2.8) hates it. She is in a rather wary and unsociable phase at the moment, and does not want to talk to adults she doesn't know. Still, she has to be polite, so I sort of answer for her and smile and we move on.
But why must people tell her they are going to steal her brother? They ask if they can have him (he's 10 months), and when she doesn't answer (she just sort of glowers and ignores them) they assume she hasn't understood and they really hammer the point home; "can I keep him?" "shall I take him home with me?" "are you going to let me have your brother?" "oh thank you I'll look after him".
People mean to be nice, and they are only joking, but she finds it really distressing and has more than once broken down sobbing because she doesn't want some stranger to steal her brother away. We left an aquarium yesterday with ds yelping because she wanted to hold on to his wrist so tightly to make sure we kept him.
It all happens a bit quickly, and there's not always an escape (eg supermarket queue).
How do I politely but firmly tell the nice people who are just being friendly to stop traumatising my daughter? What words should I use?
How do I explain it to my dd? I've tried to explain people are joking, and what a joke it, but she's unconvinced. I've promised her that I would NEVER let anyone take ds away from us. It's all getting a bit heavy tbh. She's getting anxious around strangers and is, I think, on the lookout to make sure that no one steals him while we're out.
What to do?
(As an afterthought, since you're here, is it okay for her to be going through a rather furiously antisocial phase? I'm assuming it is a phase, and whilst I don't want her to think it's okay to be rude, I also don't feel I want to come down too harshly about it. I can't exactly make her be pleasant by force...)