Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Battles with their toddler over having the telly on. Anyone have the same problem?

58 replies

Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:13

Well, it's not telly, it's DVDs I'm talking about.
DS is 22 months old and would watch dvds - and telly too, all day if we let him.
It goes on in the morning while I get housework done, get showered etc, but then I like to switch if off. And there's a tantrum. Sometimes he even puts it back on. ( He can put dvds on himself! )
Do any of you have this problem?
DS already spends far too much time staring at the telly, I don't want him to spend any more. He watches it until mid-morning and then early evening when I'm making dinner but I think it's too much.
Not sure what to do. Or should I ease off and pick my battles??!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
stealthsquiggle · 23/02/2009 15:16

DD (30mths) demands to watch TV.

I say no.

She throws a tantrum.

I ignore her.

5 mins later she finds something else to do.

Move the remote / the DVDs somewhere where he can't get them.

2cats2many · 23/02/2009 15:16

I sky+ a few programmes and let dd (also 22 months) watch one in the morning (sometimes two) while I unload dishwasher and do other domestic chores. Occasionally she'll watch something when she wakes up from her afternoon nap. Apart from that, the telly is switched off completely. I hate having it on all the time even if I'm home on my own.

She does sometimes bug me about it, but she gets a firm 'no' and then I distract her with other stuff.

Habbibu · 23/02/2009 15:17

Can you find other things to keep him busy while you get things done? If I'm in the shower, I shut the stairgate and dd ambles around, popping in to talk to me (and chuck stuff in the bath), etc, and she just follows me around "helping" while I tidy. Maybe don't use it every morning, just to break up the routine of it a bit?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General parenting
Dropdeadfred · 23/02/2009 15:18

Do you not go out during the day?

DebiTheScot · 23/02/2009 15:19

Do you tell him that it'll be going off in 5 mins/at the end of that episode? My nearly 3 year old has a tantrum if I just switch it off but isn't usually too bad if he's had lots of warning that it'll be going off in a minute.

Or if you got a toy out and started playing with it yourself would he get down and join you?

DebiTheScot · 23/02/2009 15:21

I also use sky+ to control what he watches, best invention ever.

claireybeemine · 23/02/2009 15:25

If the tv goes on in the morning dd wants to watch it all day, if it doesn't go on she doesn't seem to notice. I used to put it on while I got dressed and did stuff in the mornings but now I usually put on a cd and tell her to play with something instead, she usually just dances to the cd or talks to me.

Pruners · 23/02/2009 15:25

Message withdrawn

Pruners · 23/02/2009 15:26

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:27

"Do you not go out during the day?"

Of course I do, dropdead, but I'm obviously talking about when I'm IN the house.

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 23/02/2009 15:29

Sorry but he's 22 months and you are the parent, hide the DVDs then he won't put them on himself, same with the remote control, unplug the TV at the wall.

Mine are 4 and 3 and get about half an hour of TV a day when I am making dinner, if they moan I tell them to go and play with their toys. I hate them sitting glued to it but do find it useful sometimes.

They have recently got into Disney DVDs so they might watch one in the afternoon once a week.

NotSoRampantRabbit · 23/02/2009 15:32

Agree that warnings are helpful. Being firm about when the TV will go off. DS has 1 Sky+ Chuggington when I'm getting ready for work. He knows that's all and is happy for me to switch off.

Also agree that TV shouldn't go on automatically every morning. On the days I don't work (and never before breakfast even when I do) I rarely put TV on at all. Therefore there is no expectation and an understanding that a bit of TV is a treat not a right.

If you switch off without warning/a plan you will inevitably get full toddler meltdown IME!

willowthewispa · 23/02/2009 15:34

I would just stop using TV entirely - he's very little. Can't he play by himself while you shower? Learning to amuse themselves is a very important skill to have!

Pruners · 23/02/2009 15:35

Message withdrawn

Pruners · 23/02/2009 15:35

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:36

Learning to amuse themselves is a very important skill to have!

I now, I know, but he's not great at this, never has been, although he's getting better.
He just follows me EVERYWHERE and I can get nothing done.

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 23/02/2009 15:37

dd is 18m and there is no way I'd let her put the tv or dvds on herself

the more she watches, the more she wants to watch
eg if she has 20min while I shower in the morning she is whining for Pingu all day.

if she hasn't seen any for ages she doesn;t seem to miss it at all - she gets her penguin fix from books, toys and () the Tesco's own brand shreddies box instead

Dropdeadfred has a point - if you go out immediately his morning tv time finishes (rather than hanging round the house) chances are he'll forget all about it and (fingers crossed) still not have remembered by the time you get back.

In the evening we don't cook till dh gets home so one of us plays with dd while the other cooks.

Original poster
Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:38

Yep, Pruners, you got it.
I've tried it ALL. And what I would give for him to amuse himself while I get things done.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 23/02/2009 15:40

Oh, yes, the toddler stalker. I do sympathise. Can you try to find wee jobs for him to do (maybe give him a cloth while cleaning the bathroom, etc) while you're doing stuff. I know it's a PITA, but he will get better, and if he's active alongside you, while not getting your full attention, that's a step on the way to amusing himself.

Original poster
Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:40

no, DS doesn't whine for his programmes all day.
It's just when I switch it off in the morning that I get the tantrum

OP posts:
Habbibu · 23/02/2009 15:43

Hmm. It does sound rather like you need to break the routine of it - which is always tricky, because god knows they like the familiarity of these patterns. How about getting him a new puzzle/lego or something to distract him for a bit, before he realises the TV's not on?

NotSoRampantRabbit · 23/02/2009 15:43

Sorry didn't mean to come across as patronising. I know how hard it can be to keep them safely entertained at that age whilst you do "stuff".

Have you tried talking books or nursery rhyme CD's as a "special treat"/alternative to TV?

If he is following you around while you're doing housework would he enjoy "helping"?

Tantrums are a lot of hot air on the whole and you need to ignore if you really want to crack it.

I guess ultimately you have to stop relying on TV either by finding other ways to keep him entertained, or by letting your standards slip a bit and not doing all the housework etc.

Pruners · 23/02/2009 15:43

Message withdrawn

MayorNaze · 23/02/2009 15:45

turn tv off (or do not put it on. ignore screams etc. leave room.

mrsbabookaloo · 23/02/2009 15:46

Agree with MrsBadger, the more they watch the more they want to watch. I know you need it for those tricky, busy times of day. I use it at teatime and tea time only, and dd (2.5) still asks a lot for TV at all times of day and I say (over and over) no tv until teatime.

She went thru a phase of really crying when i turned the telly off, and I went cold turkey for a while and had no TV for about a week, and if they don't see it, they do ask less. Now I do a huge song and dance about how much TV she is allowed and when it is going to go off and what we are going to do when it goes off:

"After this episode of Charlie and Lola, we're going to turn off the TV. No more TV, we're going to jump up and play (or have a bath, etc)" Then I get her to tell me what we're going to do to check she was listening, and then I'll warn her again just before the programme finishes.

Yes, i'm a really boring mum!