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Parenting

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Original poster

Battles with their toddler over having the telly on. Anyone have the same problem?

58 replies

Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:13

Well, it's not telly, it's DVDs I'm talking about.
DS is 22 months old and would watch dvds - and telly too, all day if we let him.
It goes on in the morning while I get housework done, get showered etc, but then I like to switch if off. And there's a tantrum. Sometimes he even puts it back on. ( He can put dvds on himself! )
Do any of you have this problem?
DS already spends far too much time staring at the telly, I don't want him to spend any more. He watches it until mid-morning and then early evening when I'm making dinner but I think it's too much.
Not sure what to do. Or should I ease off and pick my battles??!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

2cats2many · 23/02/2009 15:47

I once threatened to put the TV in the rubbish bin when my dd had a tantrum and it stopped her in her tracks.

The threat worked because the day before, I'd thrown one of her dummies in the bin because she'd brought it downstairs and refused to take it back up (we have a rule that dummies are just for bedtime and naptime).

I thank my lucky stars she didn't challenge me on that one tho'.

Original poster

Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:47

Have put on 'Fun' radio on digital.
It's for families and is full of nursery ryhmes. songs etc..
He throws aan tantrum when it goes on after the tv, but sometimes is happy to keep it on.

OP posts:

CaptainKarvol · 23/02/2009 15:47

I know where you are coming from, I think. And I don't have any miracle cures either, except that I agree if the telly doesn't go on for a couple of days, DS seems to want it (very slightly) less.

DS asks for the telly (ie DVDs) on as soon as he wakes up. Between 5.30 and 6 am. It isn't ever put on until 7, so there is no point in him asking. He's nearly 3, he can tell when the clock is on 7, but he still asks every 30 seconds or so from the time he wakes. He only gets to watch DVDs, not standard TV, and only because I would go screaming bannanas if I didn't get half an hour to have a shower / not have to answer 'what's that?' or reject another request to vroom cars with him.

I don't feel proud that it's his number one choice for distraction, but the alternative as far as I can see is me never ever getting a break from his demands for attention, day or night. He just doesn't do alone.

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mrsbabookaloo · 23/02/2009 15:48

Pruners: how I hear you about trying to "just make" dd get dressed!

It's the bane of my effing life.

mrsbabookaloo · 23/02/2009 15:49

Also, I second the use of story cds as an alternative to the TV. But maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better, and I'm sure some kids wouldn't go for it.

Original poster

Gateau · 23/02/2009 15:54

Phew, CapptainKarvol. Someone in the same boat - well, sort of.
I don;t mind playing with DS at all, I just need the tv as a distraction when I'm getting things done in the house.
Yes, he does help me with some jobs, but if he helped me with all of them, we'd never get out of the house or do anything esle for that matter.

OP posts:

nannyL · 23/02/2009 15:58

Child is 22months

if u dont want the tv on it doesnt go on, end of... as for "he can turn it on" its not recket science to stop... u un plug it or unplug a scart lead etc and suddenly he finds he cant.

at this age they need to know whose boss and just cause he can press a button does not mean u as and adult cant stop him for pressing it.

he can tantrum all he likes cause tantrums get ignored and dont lead to getting own way.

piscesmoon · 23/02/2009 15:58

I would just break it now. Give a 5 minute warning and switch off. Ignore all tantrums.

nannyL · 23/02/2009 15:59

agree tha radio is great

we have funkids on or ceebies (on i player) so u dont have to listen between 2pm and 5pm

or a cd so that when it ends it ends!

Habbibu · 23/02/2009 16:01

NannyL, if it were always so simple I suspect mumsnet wouldn't exist.

Original poster

Gateau · 23/02/2009 16:03

"as for "he can turn it on" its not recket science to stop... "

I find your post quite condescending nannyL. all phrases with "it's not rocket science" in them in it are bloody patronising and unhelpful.

OP posts:

Pruners · 23/02/2009 16:09

Message withdrawn

nannyL · 23/02/2009 16:12

but it really IS simple... sorry but (IMO) it is...

he might be able to press on / play or whatever but if the thing isnt connected its not going to work..., he will very soon relaise it and give up trying

or you could get a remote plug thing so the PLUG is controlled by the remote and hide that remote so that the unit only works when the plug is switched on

there is more than 2 way to skin a rabbit.. you just need to think about it a little.

I disagree with it wasnt helpful... i think suggesting unplugging the scart lead would help alot to solve the issue with a 22 month old being able to just switch it back on

nannyL · 23/02/2009 16:12

TheProvincialLady · 23/02/2009 16:15

It is hard when you need the nannying service of the tv at certain times of day and then at other times you don't want him watching it. I think I would be tempted to go cold turkey for a fortnight, no tv on whatsoever until he is in bed (for you I mean!) and then in that time both of you will have to work out strategies for ensuring he is entertained. In the long run it would help him. In the short term you will probably want to murder him.

What I do is allow DS1 20 minutes of tv while I have my breakfast, then turn it over to watch 5 minutes of news until 9am (really boring for him obviously but he knows it is my turn), then not put it back on again at all until he is in bed unless we are having a very trying day or he is poorly, in which case he can watch a bit whilst I make supper or whatever. I have to be strict because otherwise I would be tempted to let him watch while I read a book or get on with some cleaning. DS1 is pretty good at entertaining himself now (2.6) and will follow me about 'helping' for quite a while. I do think some of that is just his personality though.

Habbibu · 23/02/2009 16:20

The ideas were helpful, nannyL, but the "oh it's so simple" attitude wasn't so much. Some days it's just hard to be resilient - I have a very biddable dd, but struggle when I'm tired/fed up/having an off day, and tantrums can be hell to go through.

Pruners · 23/02/2009 16:29

Message withdrawn

mrsbabookaloo · 23/02/2009 16:32

Also, apologies for thread hijack, but are you better Pruners? I remember you being so ill following your mc, and felt awful for you, but I'm sorry I didn't follow well enough to hear whether you'd recovered.

Pruners · 23/02/2009 16:33

Message withdrawn

mrsgboring · 23/02/2009 16:35

I suspect I'm slightly in the same boat with DS - have needed the telly sooo much since I've got pregnant, as I've been very very ill with it, but will want to cut DS down when I'm up to it after the baby's born.

The bit I think is worst is that early morning slot as it sets the day up badly (and feels psychologically worse to me too). Is there any possible way you could rearrange your day so you go out or do an activity first thing in the morning and the telly is for after that only? This is working for us a bit now - DS is much keener to get out and get on with the day, and doesn't get stuck in tellyville then throwing himself all over the place begging to stay home when meany mummy drags him out to swimming or whatever.

Before I got pg we never had the telly on at all in the morning, and I got to almost not hate DS's early waking habit because he was so receptive to new games and stories at that time. Besides, if you know you've already done 3 or 4 Beatrix Potter stories by 6am, it gives you a glow of virtue that helps you rise above the whining later in the day. Slightly. A bit. On a good day. etc.

Habbibu · 23/02/2009 16:35

Oh, hurray, Pruners. You were having such a vile time.

mrsbabookaloo · 23/02/2009 16:35

Good to hear.

FAQinglovely · 23/02/2009 16:36

DS3 has a habit of switching the TV on when I've switched it off - I've given up unplugging it as he just goes and plugs it back in, I take the wires out the back - he puts them back in.

I pick my battles and the TV isn't one of them (he's 21 months tomorrow )

He even takes the bleeding Wii games off the (top shelf ) puts them in, switches it on and waves the Wii remotes around if given enough time ARGHHHH

piscesmoon · 23/02/2009 18:57

I'm afraid that if I was having so much trouble with them switching it on when I had turned it off I would unplug the whole thing and remove it, or do something to make sure that you can't switch it on and we would ALL do without it for several days. They may have violent tantrums to start with but once they have found out that screaming, kicking etc gets them nowhere they are more likely to listen in future.

mumof2andabit · 23/02/2009 19:17

I might be the only one but when we are at home we tend to have the tv on as background noise, not kids programs they are for if I need them entertained for 5mins! But because of this ds will take it or leave it. If he likes what is on he might watch it, if it isn't his favourite thing he just potters off. Actually he does this even if ben10 is on and ben10 in supercool in our house lol He just doesnt seem to get completly sucked into it, unless he's tired.

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