Bedtime calls for poo!!!

[mummylonglegs]

Dd 2 1/2 is 2 weeks into potty training and doing really well. She hasn't had an accident for about 10 days now and has even been dry overnight for the last 5 nights

BUT bedtimes have become a real struggle and I'm not sure how to handle it. She calls for me that she's got a poo. The first time it happened she'd been a bit constipated and so I assumed she felt she needed to go but couldn't quite do it. So we got in and out of the cot but there was nothing doing. This went on from 7.30-10.30pm and in the end I lay down with her and she went straight off to sleep. Since then she's done the same thing a few times, tonight for 2 hours. She never has a poo but gets very upset about it all and says she's worried about pooing in her sleeping bag.

Part of me thinks it's possibly a bedtime ploy but another part thinks she's genuinely anxious about it.

Do I just go with it for now and be constantly reassuring given that potty training is a major step for her. Or do I be a bit tougher about it?

It's very upsetting.

Poor lamb! Have you explained that it doesn't matter if she poos in her sleeping bag, she can just shout for you? Does she have pants on? Say it would just stay in her pants and she would call for you, and you would clean her up and it would be FINE.

When dd is constipated I find a little tummy rub (clockwise with a bit of massage oil) helps things to move along again...

Don't know if any of that helps you at all...

mp, yes, at the moment she's still in a nappy at bedtime as it's still very early days, although she's been dry at night for 5 nights now. I have explained that it would just fall into her nappy and I would clean it up but she gets hysterical about that and says she doesn't want to do it there either, only in the potty.

Any other thoughts on this one? it took her until 9.30pm to settle last night and she's exhausted today ...

Poor thing, sounds like she is a bit worried about it all - but clearly knows exactly what is going on and is doing fantastically well. I think you have to keep reassuring her, but wihtou letting it become a bit of a ruse....
The only thing I would add is that I think it is a good idea to encourage self-sufficiency in toileting at night - we put a potty in ds1's room (he can't easily get to the toilet) as soon as he went into a big bed and out of his sleeping bag, and he does use it very competently. He is older than your dd but she is obviously ready for full training now - and I think that must be a bit hard if she is still in a sleeping bag in a cot, so there is no way she can get to the toilet/potty by herself. Maybe this isn't helping as she doesn't feel in control?

I think you might be right there, elliott. I've been seriously thinking of getting her a bed at the end of this month. And I guess summertime would be a good time to wean her off her much-loved sleeping bags too!

How was she last night mummylonglegs?

Last night she was fine, mp, thanks for asking! But she was very tired as had had an early nap and a late bedtime because we were out. She went straight off to sleep. Tonight will be a more 'normal' night so am going to see how it goes. I've been researching into beds and bedding though, taking elliott's advice, and may try to shift her into a little bed at the end of the month.

I was going to suggest a bed/no sleeping bag too. If she thinks she can get out and use the potty whenever she wants, it may well reassure her. Is she in a nappy or pullups at night? I'd suggest pull ups if she's not in them already so she knows she can get them down herself.

We went through a very short phase like this when potty training DS. In retrospect I think he really liked the idea of doing a poo in the toilet and getting the praise but couldn't quite properly interpret the feeling of needing one. He would keep shouting "Need a poo" and running off to the toilet but didn't - would do this about 15 times in a row, before usually but not always doing it. It was always the same time of day - just when we were trying to get him sorted for his lunchtime nap. He used to get quite excited. I honestly think it will only last a very short period of time before your DD gets the message about what it feels like when she does and doesn't need to go. In retrospect with DS, I would have been a bit less excited with him, said something along the lines of "oh well lets just sit here for a bit and then if it doesn't come out it won't until after you wake up" and kept it all really low key. It honestly only lasted about 6 days.

Some of what you're saying sounds familiar Anchovy! I think dd likes the praise too and probably part of her only doing this before bedtime is to get an extra boost of love in before she gets left alone. I have been being very low key and saying that it would be best to leave it until morning but she can get very hysterical over it and in the back of my mind I'm always worried she really DOES have a poo and I'm suddenly in the role of not letting her do it! She never has yet done a poo on one of these occasions though. And I do think it may be a nervous thing because we had to get a cab home yesterday and she was nervous in the strange car and 5 mins after we'd sat in there she said 'I need a poo!' so driver stopped at the side of the road, got the potty out, and, you guessed it, no poo.