Teenagers

[melD1]

Does anyone have advice on how to 'deal' with what used to be a loving and normal pre teenager and now (14 yr old girl) answers back a lot of the time and gets in a strop about the smallest of things and seems to have no sense of humour. I have a 16 yr old son aswell but didn't seem to have had the same problem with him. He's actually a big help in difficult situations as he has a very good sense of humour. It's difficult getting the balance right with a) letting things go and b) setting boundaries and enforcing them without resorting to shouting. What is safe to 'let it go' without her turning into an unpleasant adult. Does anyone have experience of teenagers.

hi
don't really have any wisdom on this. My DD is also 14 and turned into a horrid child and i spent a lot of time wishing it was time for her to leave home! I feel awful for even thinking that now but i did . I don't really remember when or how it changed. It just seemed to. Somethings i am learning to let go of such as her messy bedroom. We used to have huge rows about her not tidying it up. I just decided that i'd hold my tongue and as long as it didn't spill out into the rest of the house, it's her stye and she can sleep in it. I do still ground her and set boundarys but sometimes it's worth picking your battles wisely and thinking if it really matters. Or maybe not saying anything about something she's done at that time but going back to her later on and talking to her then. I sometimes find i'm calmer and she's more likely to listen. She still is horrid sometimes but instead of shouting at her i go the other way by making my point and then not speaking as much to her so she can see that i'm cross/hurt. She takes more notice of that than when i shout!!

Sorry if i rambled but i hope that helps a little.