I know this is not a real problem <<twinset prepares for a good kicking as I have not had one on here for at least a week>> but it is hard when you have a child who wants to do everything and you have to say no as money is tight.

[twinsetandpearls]

I know saying no is not a bad thing and that she needs to learn money is not unlimited.

She already does horseriding and music lessons at school, but she used to do dance and drama before we moved as well as swimming and we have had to stop them.

I know I am sounding like a spoilt madam but it is so sad when they really want to do something and you know they are good at it and you have to say no.

Riven is right; it does get easier. As they grow up and become more their own person, you don't have the same feeling of having things to prove.

I suspect it also depends on what people around you are like. Not so bad here, because most people can't afford for their child to do more than one activity or two, so there's less pressure. And standing up to pressure is no bad thing, anyway.

My dd's do swimming, dancing and brownies. We have just managed to pay this terms fees but may have to cut something out next term.

But, speaking from my own experience, my sister and I used to do swimming, brownies, horse-riding and judo. We enjoyed doing the activities, but our favourite time of the week was definately when my Dad used to take us out on a Saturday afternoon. He would work until lunchtime on a Saturday, come home have his lunch and then take us and our cousin out. Usually we would go to the park, very occasionally we would go somewhere like the zoo. We would always be out the whole afternoon.

My DS does swimming (£60 a term) and Enjoy-a-Ball (£25 a month) and will be starting piano lessons next month. I can afford it at the moment, but DD is a newborn so I'm only paying for one child.I certainly wont be doing all the bollocksy baby classes with DD, either. Gymboree, baby sign etc - total waste of money imho!

I pay approx £600 per term for my only DD (age 9) to dance, but she does dance several times a week and performs regularly in competitions. My DH was made redundant last Christmas and the January bill nearly did not get paid (but he got a job). I would have found it VERY hard to say "No" to her, but it would have to be done if we didn't have the money.

"I have one of those really annoying golden children who are good at everything and like everything".

Maybe this could be a good time to try out other, cheaper activities? Under the guise of "its good to try new things..."

We have this with DS - partly cost-based and partly time-based, and he was/is fine with cutting down / choosing lower cost activities over higher cost but it is me who feels it is a shame for him not to continue with things which he enjoyed and seemed to be good at like ballet, trampolining and golf (of those, since both DH and my father are golfers, guess which one is going to get revived, even though it is far and away the most expensive!)

I don't like to think how much we spend on riding lessons but I've cut back at the moment and feel awful about it - I get 2 very subsidised hours a week for myself, as does my eldest daughter, but am struggling to keep up private lessons for my 9yo. I need to make it a priority somehow, she doesn't do anything else apart from cello lessons.

We've said no to dd a couple of times now, for both financial and time reasons. SHe does gymnastics (£3 a week) and I take her swimming fairly frequently and that's about it. She wants swimming lessons and dancing lessons like some of her friends but the timing of the lessons and the cost of doing everything makes it impossible. One of her friends does dancing, swimming x 2 and gymnastics. Another does loads of dancing and gymnastics. Their parents seem to spend most of their time ferrying their dc from activity to activity. These are young children, 4/5 and in Reception. I can't really see the point tbh.

This may sound pretty lame, but what about one of those dance mats?
I am intrigued by them since a friend lost about 1/2stone in a week using one!

Actually, I do yearn for them a bit, Riven (just a little bit, honest), as I have been told that it might be good for dd's back and that others with her condition have benefitted. Still, I expect she'll survive without them.
Don't have a car, so couldn't get to them anyway.
And I don't know anyone else around here who can afford them either. Most people do dancing or Cubs because it's cheap(ish).
And it's normal to do one or two activities, not seven a week. Strikes me perhaps this is a good place to live.

My child is far far far too spoilt, one of the main reasons I got a job is too fund her dance classes

Ice skating/trampolining is now being considered but she must choose between them as 'there are only so many hours in the week and only so much money in mummy's bank'

"I've never met anyone who had riding lessons in 40 years. Fun but don't see the point cos who is going to own a horse?"

If you have a child with a special gift, then I can see how you would want to really put your money into letting them develop it. My brother was very musical and was thinking of a career as a violinist: though you can teach yourself an instrument to some degree, I don't think you can teach yourself that well. So my parents sacrificed a lot for that and it seemed like a sensible thing to do. Still does.

I don't think riding classes are now normal, Riven. Certainly not around these parts. It's about the same good old class divide. Normal in areas where people can afford them. Not that I grudge them to anyone.

well I'm living proof that it's not for rich people then

I grew up, and still live, in the country and it's just a normal part of life

Do you mean you know people with horses so you get it for free? Because I have a feeling that Riven would define anyone who could afford to pay for riding lessons as rich. It's all relative, you know.

we've got one 'family' horse and when I could afford it we've had a pony on short term flexible loan for my 9yo

I get very heavily subsidised lessons as part of a course I'm doing with my eldest daughter and I just feel bad that I can't afford as much tuition for my youngest

I know other single mums in my position who work and have horses/ponies without financial support from ex-husband, I promise you none of us are rich (not that I would mind if I was ) - but I think it is pretty cheap round here, and I often work at the yard in my spare time to pay for lessons/livery.

I expect it is cheaper for you, then. If you live in town, then riding lessons are more of a luxury.

How old is she? At the stables near us the children can help out there and earn credits which can be used against the cost of lessons.

she is 9

she can ride our horse but he's a bit big and bit strong/excitable for her - I just need to get over a couple of financial hurdles then I hope to be able to prioritise it