If your kids don't do ANYTHING, should you force them?

[MrsSnape]

I really want DS2 to have some kind of a hobby. He refuses to do anything though.

We've tried swimming (hates it, refuses to get in the water), karate (hates it, makes a pain of himself and gets into trouble) beavers (hates it, thinks it's stupid) Football (hates it, refused to do anything)

Is it ok for a child to have NO hobby or activity at all or should I force him to do at least one thing?

What age is he? Maybe just too tired.

Mrs Snape I have 3 of those at home.

Part of it is bone idleness, I think. Also my children never want to TRY at anything they will not be amazing at straight away.

I think its really good if your son shows a tiny glimmer of interest in anything, seize the moment. Is he interested in History, or Space, or anything 'cerebral' like that?

A hobby can be collecting stuff, or going round museums etc looking at interesting things. It doesn't have to be sporty or physical every time.

I'd enforce swimming if he can't yet swim at least a bit -- that's a life skill rather than a hobby.

Otherwise, maybe just wait for an interest to emerge? One of mine similarly hated beavers, karate and football, but has rather surprisingly stuck at music. How old is he? If he's a younger brother, does he end up trying his brother's activities and feeling 'worse' at them? My sister has just told me that she felt there were 'no activities left for her' (she's the youngest of four), so she didn't want to bother.

My kids wouldnt do anything unless forced. So from the age of 4 they have had non negotiable swimming lessons, every sunday for the past...oh 7 years...dd1 has just joined the diving club and its the only thing they have stuck out.(because I made it clear there wasnt a choice thing, they WOULD be going and that was it)

He's 8. His main interest is animals, natural history...he would spend an entire weekend walking around museums if he could. The ones in Hull...I could recite each plaque word for word the ammount of times I've taken him around them!

But yes he is a younger brother and I think he does feel 'in competition' all the time.

He says he wants to join Army Cadets when he's 13 which is interesting because this is the one thing his brother has said he'll never do. I hope he does join, it will be great for him.

I ideally wanted him to learn to swim before Oct as we're going to Florida and he'll miss out on so much if he can't swim.

If he is interested in natural history, then that seems an excellent hobby to me. Everything doesn't have to be organised and run by a paid coach to be a hobby. Get him some binoculars and let him go bird-watching if he wants. Or looking for bugs or whatever. Perhaps later he can join some kind of natural history group.

But yes- I can see why you want him to learn swimming and I would keep on gently pushing that.

My hobby was learning foreign languages. It has served me well in life.

We did a crash course in swimming when my dd was 7.5 - it was a week at the beginning of the summer holidays where she had a lesson every day first thing in morning and she went from heavily relying on armbands and wanting to be carried in the water (embarrassing as she is really tall for her age!!) to swimming totally alone. She hated the first lesson though. We did her choice of activity (for your ds it would obv be museums or go visit local RSPCA) immediately after the swimming each day to broker the deal.

At the nature centre near us they have kids sessions where they can go feed/clean the animals enclosures etc. would he like something like that?

My son is nearly 8 and does nothing after school. He would like to do karate but we can't afford the £100 a month. We take them out at weekends though.

Join your local wildlife trust. He will get a regular newsletter and they usually run activities several times a year.

I don't think you can force a child to do anything. Beleive me I've tried over the years. IME they will eventually find what they want to do but it won't neccessarily be what you wanted or expected.

Definitely swimming... he'll be having to do it at school in the next year or two, won't he, and it must be horrid for the ones who can't swim at that stage.

But do encourage the natural history... I'm sure there must be birdwatching opportunities near Hull, the RSPB has junior membership, some reserves do activities and even holiday club type things.

For natural history the National Geographic kids magazine is excellent

What about Woodcraft folk (think that's what it's called) - messing about in the wild etc.