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Original poster

poo withholding, all tips, PLEASE

41 replies

rogan2001 · 23/03/2005 08:31

my ds, 3.3yrs has been holding his poohs in for 7 mths now since he had a painfull experience, he has 10ml of lactoluse a day, but he still manages to hold them in most days, he won't even relax when he is asleep and let it out. it is proving very hard to potty train. i have tried everything i can think of,anybody got any tips please. my doctor says i have got to wait till he grows out of it, about age 5.

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Original poster

rogan2001 · 28/03/2005 15:31

wow lisa, 10, 5ml spoonfulls of lactoluse a day, that is a lot. we have tried the star chart and it did kind of work for a while but i think he is getting bored with it now. It is so frustrating isin't it. I am so worried that we will just get it sorted and then he will start school and be afraid of the school toilets and it will start all over again, he refuses to use the toilets at nursery.

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lisa34 · 28/03/2005 15:40

My ds will not use the toilet at school - he would much rather hold onto it until he gets home - most times it is during the night when he needs to go - he wakes up soaking wet with sweat and dancing around the room holding his tummy - he can scream the house down - I try not to let this happen - cos I know that he will not go because he is tired and I really don't want him to wake my youngest up...another trick you can try is let him see you go to the toilet for a poo which can sometime help - I've started doing this with ds and he tell me to push through the 'sharp bit' as he calls it - i think he likes giving me encouragement to go...and then he gets me a sticker . It is purely psychological and my mum said to me the other day "how many strapping 18 years old do you see having trouble going for a poo" it just a horrible time for them and an even harder for us to watch them in pain... keep me update with the progress - take care

milosmum · 28/03/2005 15:51

know where you are all coming from here. my little man is 4 and will not go and poo in school or anyones elses house! he has a week stomach so if someone has been before him- he ll just do it in his pants- we ve currently got a star chart on the bathroom door. he has to sit on the loo in the morning and then after school if he still hasnt- sounds a little regimented but he was going in his pants at school and the teachers were getting a little "rattled".....

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lisa34 · 28/03/2005 16:03

The teachers were very good at his school when he was in nursery - if he had an accident they would ring me and I wold go and change him - that's ok cos the school was only 15 mins down the road, but I know some teachers get very "rattled" by it - before he started at his present school - I went to the local school to have a look around - I explained the situation with the nursery teacher and her reply was "he can't possibly come to this school he has to go to the toilet by himslef - we cannot and will not change dirty nappies" - well i nearly puched her lights out there and then - I never expected them to change his dirty nappy - they are not allowed but just to give me a call - so consequently he dosen't attend that school - he goes to a very good school in the next village.

Rosebudz · 29/03/2005 12:14

Rogan,
Just wondering if you might consider, after an afternoon snack, to sit him on the pot, or toilet about 20 minutes after he has had a snack and a drink, perhaps read to him from a favourite book, making the story last as long as you can hold his attention.

Keep it up for some time, doing this daily, and with any luck you will begin a daily routine.
It is usually after a meal when the bowel gives some good contractions and he may just catch himself out with any luck.

Make a big fuss, even if he does only pee, just to get him feeling the positivity of it all. It could also start a good routine for afternoon poos with school coming up, would be ideal.
Just try to keep it all as fun and stress free as poss'.

Original poster

rogan2001 · 29/03/2005 15:36

Hi rosebudz, we do have 3 tiolet sittings a day, whilst playing the games on cbeebies, but he still tries to hold it in and we usally just get little drops, and he'll say can i have a sticker, i say no it was very good but we only give stickers for proper poohs, when he does go properly which does'nt seem to be often he gets lots of praise and a sticker, when he get's 10 he can choose a small toy. He does'nt mind sitting on the potty and enjoys emptying it down the tiolet, it's just trying to get him to do something on it, when i see him start holding and jumping around, i will sit him on it and he will just do sit down legs clasped holding.

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Bearess · 29/03/2005 15:47

Rogan - Sorry if I am repeating someone else as have not read all of the thread thoroughly but we had a bit of a problem with this also and the HV suggested giving them play-doh or something or a book while they are on the pot to relax them and take their mind off what is going on - good luck.

Prettybird · 29/03/2005 16:05

Ds occasionally has a wee bit of a problem - though nowhere near as severe as your ds.

However, my "trick" with him may work with your ds, where a lot of the problem seems to be in his head, ie after the unfortunate incident you mention

I tell ds that orange juice (or whatever juice you have around - or even make it "magic" juice) will make it easier and I go and get a cup of it for him to drink while he is sitting on the toilet. Because he then thinks it is going to be easier, he "lets go".

starlover · 29/03/2005 18:05

i just had this idea... it's probably really stupid.
But, why don't you try tickling him?
it would be incredibly hard to keep all his muscles tensed if he was tickled. I don't mean loads, and obv only if he's on the potty cos you don't want him falling off the toilet! If you knew he was really ready to do a poo, then a quick tickle would make him relax his muscles and it might come out!

Original poster

rogan2001 · 29/03/2005 20:22

starlover, would you believe i have tried that, i'd read him a noddy story whilst he was sat on the potty and when i could see him starting to hold i would say " along came big ears and noddy tickled him all over" and i would tickle him under the arms or behind his knees so he had to straighten his legs (cus he holds his legs poker straight and crosses them at the ankles). made him laugh but still did'nt do the trick. thanks for the idea tho. I think it's just got to be down to him now, i'm ignoring it at the moment so he's not under pressure and it's not getting attention, hopefully we will get there soon.

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Rosebudz · 29/03/2005 21:43

Have you tried ballon blowing, whilst on the pot? Well,not you of course...your son!

It works THE muscles needed for poo.

I think if it is so deep seated you may need to see if a doctor can offer any help, or maybe a natural treatment, some of the bach remedies are very helpful at times when emotions are strong.
Just another option.

silverbird · 04/04/2005 14:24

hi im new here and came here out of desperation, because my son 3 n 1/2 has been with holding his poo, to the point where i have been ripping my hair out it is sooo frustrating, like the original poster, my son is not constipated, we have pin pointed the start of the problem to the time he caught worms at nursery (yuk) tho my husband doesnt believe this is what started it,
it has been happening ever since, now 5mths, he also crosses his legs and holds it in and in, its been great reading all the tips on here, im gonna try a reward chart and im also going to see my dr, i really thought it was just us, so thanx to all for posting

saadia · 04/04/2005 15:01

I once saw a prog (Real Families) where there was a 3.5 year old boy deliberately withholding his poo. The development psychologist said the boy needed a suppository in his bottom, so they tried it and kept putting the boy on the potty and he finally did it. Of course it's much easier to do something like that if you have an expert on hand.

rabbitrabbit · 02/08/2006 12:42

Hello, I know this was an old thread but some of the posts on here are describing exactly what my ds (now 3.3) has been going through since August 05-and tbh I'm starting to find it really hard to cope.

He definitely withholds his poo-there is no physical cause. The strange thing is that it doesn't happen all the time. He went in the toilet for the last three times but now he's been withholding his poo for four days.

Did anyone here find a way to deal with it-or just cope!
We've tried ignoring it, sympathising, bribing etc.
He just wants to sit down, or lie down, all the time. I assume that's because it stops the feeling of needing to go-but he wants someone sat with him, it's not even if he's happy to go off and sit down with a book-he wants to be sat on your lap all day and he screams hysterically every time he feels the need to go.

I'm really finding it hard to figire out what to do next. I'd be grateful if anyone could let me know what they did in the end.

TIA

mellowma · 02/08/2006 13:13

Message withdrawn

rabbitrabbit · 02/08/2006 14:06

Thanks mellowma. A local chemist, where I bought some lactulose from, told me they'd give me a suppository if he didn't go soon. I've held back from doing it as he just becomes even more hysterical when you try to get anywhere near his bottom!
I'd never heard of anything like this before tbh. I just feel like I'm at a complete loss (and feeling a bit sorry for myself as well today )

thanks

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