poo withholding, all tips, PLEASE

[rogan2001]

my ds, 3.3yrs has been holding his poohs in for 7 mths now since he had a painfull experience, he has 10ml of lactoluse a day, but he still manages to hold them in most days, he won't even relax when he is asleep and let it out. it is proving very hard to potty train. i have tried everything i can think of,anybody got any tips please. my doctor says i have got to wait till he grows out of it, about age 5.

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he does have plenty to drink, but he is a very fussy eater, and the only fruit he will eat is bananas, which i do limit, the problem isi'nt that he can't go, it is he will not let it come out, he will cross his legs and clamp his bum shut. some days he will spend all day doing this, when if he just let it out it would be over and done with. he will sit on the potty and tiolet, but still tries to hold it in when he feels it coming.

oh rogan how awful for you and him.

We've been there with DS1 but when he eventually started on the lactulose he couldn't hold them in any more and within about three days was actually using the potty properly. Before that we had tried all manner of alternatives from prune juice to linseed oil and nothing had helped him.

I wouldn't be at all happy with the doctor's response if I were you. I'm surprised that there isn't anything else he/she can prescribe, at least in the short term. Maybe worth asking again, or seeing another doctor if there is more than one working in your local GP surgery?

p.s. forgot to say that although DS1 was a very fussy eater at the same age he would eat seedless grapes and satsumas if I picked every bit of the white pithy stuff off them. He would also sometimes drink fruit smoothies. Maybe worth a try?

My dd (2.5) suffers from constipation and I now think has started witholding poo - after a couple of days she will complain of a sore tummy and cry constantly for another couple of days - and then scream with pain when she can no longer hold on any more. She was prescribed lactulose and senna without any improvement. Saw paed at hospital yesterday and she's just been prescribed movical(sp?) for kids - so we'll see!!
Paed said that 1st stage is to clear out any hard / old poo by giving a large dose of the laxative
Stage 2 is to ensure that poo is made as soft as possible so it doesn't hurt by giving a smaller dose.
Stage 3 need to encourage child to perform - a sticker chart maybe, or a small reward?
Lots of praise when they do go - we've even been known to phone granny!
Hope some of this helps - and good luck!

We had this with ds1. I eventually gave him large doses of Milpar and sat with him while he sat on the potty. Seemed to find this more secure than the toilet. When he did go, heaped on the praise. Got there eventually. It seems like an absolute unending nightmare when it is happening but it does get better!

Hi Rogan

Right here are my top tips.

• Go to health food store. Get:

Linseeds, crush them and sprinkle them over porridge.
(porridge is better as oats arte more gentle than wheat, but if not wheatabix is a good brekkie too)

• use linseeds in making him some wholemeal muffins and mix in some dried prunes.

• you can buy a thing called bowel essense, very gentle, and is essense of orange and other plants/flowers, and help the bowel

put some uncooked olive oil (or oil rich in omega oils)in / over his food.

Banana are actually ok, or so i've been told by doctors, but grapes are the best thing, they have a slight laxative effect.

Try fruits like watermelon as well

Cook some dried prunes in orange juice and find a way that he'll eat it, like in museli, mixed into a natural yoghurt

Make sure any bread you give is wholemeal
offer as much luid as possible, try prune juice as well as water, or some freshly squeezed oj with water

make some home made lollies, again with prune juice or orange juice

Stay with him when he's on his potty, maybe you could let him watch a DVD while he sits on the potty, or read his favourite book to him, the whole time calmly rubbing his lower back abnd/or his tummy in circular motion

There is also Senacot which is a laxative and is okay to give kids if he hasn't been for a few days. Tye longer he leaves it the more it gets compacted and the harder it is to pass.

You can probably tell we have lived with constipation with our DD for every day of her 3 and a bit years.

I had this for a while - but she relaxed when falling asleep so produced then. I find apple juice really helps....

thanks for the tips, he is a very fussy eater, so it is hard to get him to eat a lot of good stuff, he started having weetabix for breakfast ,cus i do, he ate it for 2 wks and now refuses to eat it, saying he does'nt like it. the poo would come out if he just let it, last night in the bath he started clamping his legs shut and i said "we don't poo like that, relax yourself", and forced his legs open and a poo flew out into the water. but if i keep forcing him, will it turn into a battle and make him worse (not that it can get any worse).

rogan.. i have to go against the tide of advice here and say that it sounds like you don't need any laxatives, or extra foods that will make him poo.
He isn't constipated (as you know, of course!), so he doesn't really need them.

I think it is just a matter of time... he will eventually realise that it doesn't hurt him to do a poo each time.
Every time you get him to do one just tell him what a clever boy he is, and remind him that he did it and it didn't hurt...
he'll get there eventually, and I very much doubt it will last until he is 5.

The problem if you have laxatives and stuff is that you might make the poo too runny... and then if he is still trying to hold it in he won't be able to and will end up soiling himself.

How was he after he did it in the bath? Maybe you could let him do it like that a couple of times til he realises that it really doesn't hurt any more?

starlover, i said to him "wow, that was a good poo. and he said "that is a good poo isin't it". then we had a game of catching it in a old beaker to put it down the tiolet. i think that he has just got into the habit of holding it and it is proving difficult to break the cycle.

THis happened with my dd. She eventually grew out of it, potty training realy helped her. She would go are rigid as a board holding in the poo. She has an excellent diet, rich in fruit and veg and drank loads of water and diluted fresh friut juice. It was totaly psychological with her and got better when she 'controled' her poos by going on the loo.

But it is awful to cope with and you have my sympathy.

Rogan, I'm more with starlover on this one. I used to use soft bribes with dd when she did do a poo. 'Do one now, and then we will make a collage (her fav thing at the the time), so you need to rush, so we can start' It eventually worked. It sounds like he is witholding, rather than being 'realy' constipated IYSWIM

i will have to give the bribes ago, we have been using a sticker chart for potty training and getting little presents when he get's so many stickers, but i think he's getting a bit bored with it now. He quite likes sitting on the potty and enjoys emptying it down the tiolet when he does do something, but i think he seems to have just forgotten how to have a poo, cus he's been holding it in for so long.

Haven't read all of this so apologies if this has already been suggested - sounds a bit gross but honestly it works - it worked for my friend (37 years old) who only poos once a fortnight. When we were little if we were contipated my mum would soak a piece of cotton wool in oil (olive oil will do) and shove it up our bottoms. Apparently the "intruder" irritates the passage (can't believe I'm typing this)so your body expels the poo to expel the intruder. I read somewhere that you can use a sliver of soap as well but I think the oil woul be gentler and provide lubrication on the way out. Be warned - it works very quickly so once the cotton wool is in place place child on toilet or potty. Good luck.

It's not that I think he needs laxatives, but if he isn't having a poo it's going to get compacted and be harder to pass and put him off. i'm suggesting natural things to allow water into the bowel and make them less hard and scary and painful to push out. His habit of holding onto them is another matter altogether I agree.

Rogan2001, I have only read your original post so don't know if this has been said already or not, but my dd had this. She held on to her poo until she could hold no more and screamed sometimes for half an hour at a time every time a poo came out. This went on for over a year and delayed her potty training as I wanted it sorted before starting the training. I did try all the diet ideas but with no result. She had lactulose and senakot, neither of which seemed to make much difference. I was eventually also given glycerine suppositories which I only used very occasionally ie if she hadn't pooed for so many days. They worked beautifully - do try asking your GP for them - they guaranteed a nice easily passed poo within minutes of putting one in. I was also told dd's problem could go on for years, but it actually only lasted about 18 months (only!) and I am sure the glycerine suppositories were the answer.

I have to use those suppositories now and then for my DD, however, just be aware that they are emergencey only and you really shouldn't use them too often as prolonged use will make the bowel lazy and do more harm then good. Having said that when lottie hasn't been for a week and I can see she is in discomfort, then I will use them, and have done so and thank god for them as they really, really do work, very quickly.

That is how I used them Thomcat and I think I only ended up using two or three in total. It was a great relief knowing I had something I could use if things got really bad.

we did try the suppostories ( i can't spell it) a few months back, but every time i put one in he would push it straight back out, i will try them again and see if we have more luck this time. thanks

Sorry to add to your woes but that means you didn't put it in far enough I think.

Yeah, sorry Rogan, but you have to push them up past the poo! Really, really unpleasant for all concerned. They work by dissolving and breaking down the poo and pushing it out so they have to be as high up as possible, sorry!

Hi Rogan, sorry you are still having troubles.
It does take so very long for a child to forget their painful experiences.

Don't give up on the Lactulose, as it will help to keep the poo soft. Suppositories are often used to get the plug of hard poo out, in some kids they don't always work straight away. Sometimes it can result in much upset to both child and parent also, maybe time to meet with your Doctor?

There is no way you can force the child to produce a result, and the more pressure that is put on them often the worse a problem can get.

Try to keep liquids going in regularly as well as that lactulose.

Sorry to tell you Rogan, Bananas can for some be constipating...It really is a very tough one, for many of us.

What weight is your child? YOu may be able to give a higher dosage, I'd do a search for you but don't have time, have to head off to work shortly, but you can play around with the dosage slightly to get the desired result.

the surestart hv who visits his nursery has advised me to totally ignore the holding in and don't make a issue of it, just keep sitting him on the tiolet and just ignore him when he holds, i had been trying to coax him out of it when he did it, but i will see if the ignoring it will help. i will also go to doctors to see about some suppositories.
Rosebudz he weighs 32 pounds, do you think a higher dose of lactoluse would help?

I know exactly what you are going through - my ds is now aged 4.5 and has had problems going for a poo since he was 10 months old. He has been under a specialist for 1.5 years who gave him 10 x 5mls of lactolose a day - 1.5 x 5ml of sodium picasulphate - none of which helped. The doc explained that their tiny muscles are so strong that they can hold their poo for a long time until they can hold it no longer, and one painful experience can be he cause of constipation - the lactulose did make his poo a bit softer but it was still very painful for him to pass. We have now started a star chart with him which seems to be working - he cries everytime he goes to the toilet usually every 4 to 5 days but the reward of a sticker seems to help... good luck you have my every sympathy