Is it stupid to feel this upset about GP's?

[MichC]

I think i might be being over emotional. My DS is 16 months and just aware of santa etc..

Me and my husband work full time and my mum looks after him. One day a week hios other nanny has him which is fine.

However last week she text me to say she was at the local garden center and was taking DS to see santa. I felt gutted i wanted to take him. Due to bad weather they never made it and when i picked him up i said light heartedly that i was glad they didn't go because i wanted to take him the first time. She obviously didn't listen because she told me last night she was taking him this week with his aunty and they would get me a picture! I was so upset. I tried to say again that i wanted to but she just said don't be silly your at work! (as if i don't feel bad enough about that anyway!) I don't want to cause a problem as she is generally great.

Am i being over emotional?
It should be me that takes him for the first time!!

I'm in a very similar situation with childcare and work. Last year my dd was the same age as your ds and I did feel a bit sad that my parents had taken her, without asking me. This year I'm not quite so bothered really, don't know why.

I don't think that you're being silly, spell it out to your mum and take your ds if you want to.

No you're not being silly, she is being insensitive. Tell her again, you want to take him first. Why not take yourself DS at the weekend and then she can take hinm again next week if she really wants to?

without wanting to sound insenstivie - don't worry about it - at 16 months they may be showing some vague awareness of Santa - but won't really know (and even less understand or remember a trip to see them).

Wait until next year (or maybe IME the year after) then they'll really be aware and actually grinning at the fact they've met Santa - not some man dressed up in a funny costume

I think it's lovely that she wanted to take him, tbh. And I think you're being a bit over-sensitive. She presumably thinks that she is saving you a job, as you both work full-time. Maybe she thinks you won't have the time to take him yourself.

He won't understand what's going on anyway. Santa means nothing to him at the moment (and may actually scare the living daylights out of him!).

We found that it was around the age of 3 that Santa began to take on some of his magic with dd - she had some understanding of what Christmas is about, and the sheer joy on her face was beautiful to see. That's the time when a visit to Santa is really magical - that's the age to start making sure you take him yourself.

Unfortunately this is one of the problems of being a full time working mum (as I have always been). You can't have your cake and eat it!

If you were paying for your childcare you do have much more say in what the person looking after your child does and doesn't do, but in your situation it's different. And you do have to remember that your son is your DM/MIL's grandson as well - so they will feel that they have a 'right' to share in important milestones.

And being realistic, your DS will not really remember this first visit. But if it's that important to you, take him at the weekend before he is taken by any of his GPs.

You're not being silly or stupid to be upset by it, but you do need to get a more realistic perspective about what happens with your DS whilst you're at work. You can't stop him from experiencing important things until you're around!

Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's not meant to, just based on my experience of dealing with these issues over the last 16 years.

FWIW my dd is nearly 5 and this is the first year she has been willing to going anywhere near FC, without screaming the place down. Even the thought of the humungous bag of sweeties he was handing out would not persuade her otherwise.