Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

He doesn't sleep!!

36 replies

MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 16:47

Please please can somebody give me some advice?! My 22 week old doesnt sleep!!! He wakes up in the night constantly for food and im just so exhausted!!

Gem x

OP posts:
prada · 10/12/2008 17:53

poor you, i sympathise.

is he on solids? if not then that could make a difference.

with ds1 i focused on making sure he had a good lunchtime feed i.e. i gave him more which along with his sleepy feed at 11pm got him through the night....

being hungry at night could also be a habit of getting you into the room?

hang in there honey...

CantSleepWontSleep · 10/12/2008 18:03

Probably the big growth spurt.
Too early for solids.
He might not actually be hungry, but doesn't know any other way to get himself back to sleep if you've always fed him til he settles.

IAteTheWholeSelectionBox · 10/12/2008 18:05

Hi Gem. Sorry you're having such a crap time. I can sympathise having been there (actually mine's a lot older and still a rubbish sleeper so I do know how tough it is). Is he bottle or breastfed? There's actually no evidence that solids make a jot of difference to sleep (actually some people I know have told me their babies woke more once they were weaned so I wouldn't rush into it!). Do you have help at home?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
evenmoremiserablethanbefore · 10/12/2008 18:40

Hi Gem
As a mother of 3 children,I feel I might be able to give you some advice...{though I dont claim to be an expert}
Is your baby bottle fed or breast?
I breast fed 2 of my children and was assured that they would eventually sleep longer than 2 hours.....they never did... until I put them on the bottle....
I didnt sleep for 4 months
Which formula is he on? I think he is old enough for the 2nd milk,not the progress,the one in between.
will your baby take a dummy ? {I know,horrible things,but when youre desperate}
does your baby draw his knees up during or after a feed or at tea time? it may be colic.....try colief or...
try baby massage.
Keep noise down to a minimum and the lights low.After bathtime,lie him on his back on a baby mat,use some massage oil,baby oil will do....and massage his tummy area in tiny circular motions from left to right....I know you may have to wake him to get his nappy and sleepsuit on afterwards,but you may find that at least he is more relaxed.
My colicky daughter loved it!
Try and get some cat naps during the day.Please dont worry about housework,until you are getting some rest.
If you feel you,ve tried everything,then I,m sorry but some tough love might be better and try leaving him to cry for small periods of time.Babies are crafty and know a simple whimper will make you rush and pick them up!!!
I know its hard,but assure yourself that so long as baby is fed,changed not too warm or cold,leaving him to cry for a bit wont do him any harm.
My youngest daughter would grunt and stretch and make such weird noises during the night,I have always been a light sleeper and such a worrier...I was forever picking her up through the night.
The very first night I placed her in her own room...she slept the whole night through and carried on doing so afterwards....she was 7 months old though,but you have to try and break that cycle of getting up every half hour to check on them.

RaspberryBlower · 10/12/2008 18:57

Have you been on the sleep forum? There are lots of us in the same situation. I think it helps to know you're not the only one.

ilovemydog · 10/12/2008 18:59

You're not alone.

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 19:15

Thanks for your advice....

Leon is breastfed and also has been weaned pretty much. He has breakfast and tea and sometimes a rusk before bed. (formula occasionally - enfamil) He is still in my room with me and my partner. Im not sure whether or not he is teething does that make me a bad mum? ?

Its just hard as i am pregnant again already! And having problems with my DP so its just all so stressful!!

He wont take a dummy.

After his bed time feed at around 6pm i feed him in my room with the lights off and i dont talk to him, then when he is finished i give his a kiss and lay him down. He is okay going to sleep, just not staying asleep!!!

Feel like such a crap mum!!

OP posts:
jeanjeannie · 10/12/2008 19:38

If it's any consolation my 27weeks old DD rarely sleeps. Some days I don't get in the car with the DC and drive as I'm not safe

Like you I'm breastfeeding and also my DD goes to sleep ok - it's just once she's woken - that's it. We've established there is a 50 min pattern - which isn't great. Our 2 yr old is also being woken by the screams - sometimes our house is manic at 3am!!

However - things are improving a weeny bit as we just put her in her own room and at least she sleeps for longer - 2 hours! To me that's as good as a full night!

Just wanted to also say you're not alone. Some days I'm almost incapable of moving and can barely speak. Hope it gets better - for both of us!

evenmoremiserablethanbefore · 10/12/2008 19:53

I blame breastfeeding to be honest.it works for some but it was a nightmare for me.
I think babies get used to the feeding on demand and then its hard to decide wether baby is hungry or using you as a dummy.
My daughter wouldnt have a dummy either,she sucked her thumb and still does,aged 6 years!!
The only thing I can now recommend is mixed feeding.....try and give a bottle ,last feed at night
good luck

evenmoremiserablethanbefore · 10/12/2008 20:00

ps; YOU ARE NOT A CRAP MUM!!
please dont start blaming yourself for your babys sleeping patterns.....
you will only start getting depressed...that is a vicious cycle...
try and get out of the house for fresh air each day,then perhaps start going to mother and baby/toddler groups.....
I found them a life saver....stopped me going insane.you need adult company too.
if its any consolation,my DH never helped with night feeds,or day feeds or even nappy changing for that matter.
But,he was the breadwinner and worked his arse off,so I cant have everything!
All I can say is...it gets easier
hang in there

RumMum · 10/12/2008 20:00

I always used to wake feed mine at 10:30pm-ish in a dark quiet room.... they would go down by 11pm wake after 4 hours at about 3am and didn't usually wake again till 7am...
could you give Leon a feed at 10pm just to top him up, don't wake him or change him.

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:03

He is just so clingy right now Ive argued with my partner and im not happy Sorry

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:07

Gem, breastfed babies do this. it is normal.
solids won't help.
he is still really young, and this is normal behaviour for him.

I found it really helped once I accepted that ds2 was a crap sleeper and decided to figure out how I could get more sleep, rather than trying to make him do it, iyswim?

so, for example I would leave him downstiars with dp in the evenings and I would go to bed eartly, like 7.30/8pm some nights.
dp would bring him to me when he wanted feeding and then take him downstairs again. I was still being woken up, but overall I got more sleep.

I had a lovely friend who would take him out in the afternoons so I could have a nap. do you have any friends or family that could do that for you?

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:08

you aren't a crap mum btw. you sound like a lovelyt mum- doing your best for your little boy.

it will pass, I promise you. you prob feel extra tired because you're pregnant as well

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:16

Im really over protective, i only trust my DP with him and thats pushing it!! Ive tried giving him to dp so i can get some sleep but he just screams most of the time and i can hear him from upstairs. i cant stand to hear him in that state because he makes himself sick over it

sorry for moaning

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:19

that's what we're here for!

perhaps dp could take him out for a walk in the evenings? he may not be up for it, but it's def worth asking. that way you could sleep a bit better?

what is he like during the day?

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:21

During the day he is usually alright as its just him and me. He sometimes falls asleep in his pram whilst we are out depending on how long we are out for! It's quite cold at the moment though and i dont like taking him out much in this weather

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:23

he's fine outside as long as he's wrapped up well.

anyway, you should give yourself a pat on the back for coping with this because sleep deprivation is terrible. I can look back on it now and think, ahhh it wasn't for so long.
but actually when you're in the middle of it it's jut horrendous.

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:26

Thanks for your help. Please could you stay and talk to me if your not busy. i feel really sh*t

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:27

yeah of course, my dp is out tonight at his work's xmas do, so I have nothing else to do.
well, except th ironing i've been putting off all week lol

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:29

Where are you from if thats okay to ask

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:30

i am in the South East, Sussex-y way.
you?
was just looking at your profile actually, are you still studying? or is it on hold for a while?

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:31

Im North Manchester.

I put the studying on hold!! Too much with a young baby and being pregnant!!!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 21:33

I can imagine, was going to say you must be super-mum if you're still doing all of it.

Original poster
MummyToLeon · 10/12/2008 21:34

No chance of that

My dp is unbelievable!! We have argued and guess what he has just done......

OP posts: