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Parenting

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Original poster

Went totally mental at poor ds today. [sad]

20 replies

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 12:48

He has been very whingy.

We are all a bit run down and I am very stressed out, maily becasue we HAVE to sell our house, blah, blah.

I totally went mantal at him becasue I couldn't take the cryng and screaming anymore.

I screamed at him to shut up.
Really really loud, like a banshee, right in his little face.

Then I left the room and slammed the bedroom door.

He was totally silent until I went back in.

He looked terrified.

I have never felt so awful about my actions in my life.

I feel like I have done the most awful thing.

Afterwards I apologised and 10 minutes later he was fine, btu I am still so upset.

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MissisBoot · 09/12/2008 12:54

Try not to beat yourself up about it - I did this to dd a while ago and still feel terrible about it.

How old is your ds? Although your behaviour is terrible, I do think children should know that adults can lose it sometimes and its just a matter of recognising when you might explode and leaving the room before your behaviour gets out of control.

Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 12:54

Please someone, tell me I have not damaged my poor child.

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RoseOfTheOrient · 09/12/2008 12:55

aw, he'll be fine
I have done the banshee screaming countless times DCs still love me! They now just roll their eyes and say "Do stop shouting!"

I remember the first time I really lost it with DD, she was only about 18 months old and I was trying to get DS (2 months or so) to sleep and she waltzed in singing at the top of her voice and woke him up. I shouted at her get out, and the poor little thing backed out of the room, with a terrified look on her face You do feel awful, don't you?

at the memory

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TeeBee · 09/12/2008 12:55

Of course you haven't. Say sorry like you would to anyone else and play games with him to make it up to him. Then draw a line under it.

Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 12:56

x-post
Thanks missus.

I do narmally leave the room.
In fact, normally I don't get that angry - I am quite a controlled person. I do not like it when people scream at their kids on a regular basis

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hambo · 09/12/2008 12:56

You have not damaged your wee boy. He will have forgotton it by now. I am sure it is a one off as you feel so rotton about it. This definately happens to everyone at some point.

The fact you feel so awful speaks volumes about what a lovely mum you normally are.

Sorry you are stressed, best of luck.

RoseOfTheOrient · 09/12/2008 12:57

YOU HAVE NOT DAMAGED YOUR CHILD! don't worry.
just try not to do it too often.... it upsets the neighbours...

bigTillyMint · 09/12/2008 12:57

I'm afraid I've been known to do this on more than one occasion - DS and DD don't seem to be eternally damaged[

How old is he? Mine are 7 and 9.

Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 12:58

Yes Rose, I've never seen that look on his face of utter shock and terror before.

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littleboo · 09/12/2008 12:58

he'll be fine, i'm sure we've all done it at some time. I remember litterally stomping round the room shouting and screaming at my dd1 when she was about 12 months cos she vomitted back the whole of her milk....it was my fault as she had finished, but I thought she ought to have a bit more... and ... that was that, i lost it, while she sat mildly bemused in the centre of the room!! Don't beat yourself up.

Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 12:59

Thank you all for your lovely posts.

I am crying again.

It has been an awful few weeks round here. I took it out on him unfairly.

Excuse grammar and typing, lol!

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Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 13:00

Oh and he's 2.4.

I'm sure it's not the last time i'll do it, but I will try not to.
It's not worth the bloody guilt!

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MissisBoot · 09/12/2008 13:10

You know what though - the other day dd shouted at me 'I'm going to kill you' and I asked her who said that to her and she quietly said 'mummy' and looked really scared I nearly cried as it was about 6 months ago when I last lost it. I asked her if she knew what it meant and she said no so I just said that sometimes mummy gets very cross when she didn't behave very nicely. IIRC she was going through a stage of not going to bed and it was all going a bit pear shaped.

I'm not trying to guilt trip you though, but just to bear it in mind that he might bring it up in the future. DD was 3 then so a little bit older.

RaspberryBlower · 09/12/2008 13:12

My own mum was a bit of a firebrand banshee screamer but a fantastic mum,as I'm sure you are, and I loved her dearly. I've turned out ok, I think.

deckthegirlandboywithholly · 09/12/2008 13:19

I've done this (as I'm sure most mums have at some point). And yes, the dc's looked horrified. I was even that angry that my blood pressure must have gone through the roof and my nose began to bleed!

I then shouted at them "now look what you've made me do!" Totally unreasonable I know, and I'm not proud of it at all. However, the dc's did think about the fact that they had pushed me too far.

They realise that mum isn't perfect and does have a breaking point, and since then they are much more considerate to adults feelings. They also don't want to make my nose bleed again.

Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 13:20

So glad to know I am not alone.

Well, I knew I wasn't, but needed to hear it, iyswim.

My throat still hurts.

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amess · 09/12/2008 13:20

I've done the same and it beat me up for years and I never did it again - so far that is. Being under stress is awful.

fishie · 09/12/2008 13:31

i got so fed up with whinging on saturday that i threw a knife with a lot of cream cheese on it down on the worktop. there was rather a mess which dh quietly cleared up. ds was utterly unmoved.

Jic · 09/12/2008 13:42

I posted on here a couple of days ago about losing it with my dd who is the same age as yours and I totally know how you feel, the guilt is horrible. I was crying and just feeling so so awful. But as many have said here, the thing to do is, get up, dust yourself down and carry on. Draw a line under it, I know it's hard to do because of the guilt, and I'm a dweller, so it takes timw for me to stop anaysing and beating myself up, but really, what else can we do? They love us unconditionally which is amazing and lovely, and stress happens. Don't beat yourself up, we've ALL been there x

Original poster

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 13:44

Love the cream cheese story!

I am just so sad for scaring him.

It is hard to forgive yourself, isn't it?

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