Lying. When one blames the other and somebody has to have done it. What do you do?

[Bubble99]

This is driving me mad.

DS2 is a shocking liar. DS1 knows this and sometimes plays on it.

How do you deal with an incident when they are both giving you the wide-eyed 'who, me?' look?

punish them both?

actually, i probably wouldn't. would depend on what had happened as to what response they got I suppose.
though mine are only 3 and a lot, and 1

They either own up or they will suffer the consequences.

How old ?

punish both

but it does depend on the circumstances

tattle-tales get short shrift in this house

If you have requested the truth and it is not forethcoming then both get punished. I usually go for a lighter version of whatever my usual punishment would be and talk it up big, it tends to become apparent quickly who is who as one dissolves into tears and one can't quite hide the smug grin!

I shamelessly copy nursery who have a 'no one will get in trouble, I just want the honest truth' policy - stern faces and sitting on the carpet until a confession is made (usually three or four girls at nursery confess - 'no xxx I don't want you to say it was you if it wasn't'). It's fairly painless, you get the truth quickly, and they have borne the punishment of having to own up. Then I say you must not do that again, do you understand bla bla and we all move on. If they fight over something or can't share then i take it away from both of them.

They are 8 and (just) 11.

I sometimes do the 'no one will be in trouble' thing but the thing is, if it is a serious thing, someone does need to face some kind of consequence.