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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you pop to the shop when your DC is asleep upstairs?

106 replies

chloemegjess · 02/12/2008 12:35

I wouldn't but after a conversation with some Mums I have started to think I am in the minority.

The shop is a 1 min walk down the road and the DD is child is one year old and asleep in a cot. You need some milk and you know the baby won't wake up for at least an hour or 2. Could be home within 5 mins.

Do you think it is ok to go? I have never done anything like that but it was pointed out to me this morning that it isn't much different to chatting outside with the lady across the road for 5 mins or going out in the garden etc.

What do you think?

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CrushWithEyeliner · 02/12/2008 13:32

hell no - don't know anyone that would

leoleomakingalist · 02/12/2008 13:37

No not ever ever ever. Milk isn't that important.
I was too nervous to go into the garden to hang washing in case something happened - choked, wrapped something around his neck etc and when he was asleep I'd be too worried he woke up and I would hear him crying.
I understand that is possibly over the top but for god sake just wait for what you need from the shop...

leoleomakingalist · 02/12/2008 13:40

It is unlikely something would happen to you on the way to or from the shop but not impossible? Isn't that along the same lines as why bother putting your seat belt on to go on a short car trip?

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africanviolet · 02/12/2008 13:41

I would, you are all paranoid, you could be in the room next door while the baby "gets something wrapped around their neck" and not know about it. Why don't you all just stand next to the cot and watch them sleep?

ditheringdora · 02/12/2008 13:43

Have to say I have been tempted but never succumbed. My sis did it once but felt awful,burst out crying and scarpered home (she had gone to shop for Always, so I gave her a dispensation).

cheesesarnie · 02/12/2008 13:44

personally nope.not for me.

leoleomakingalist · 02/12/2008 13:45

If it was an accident at home then that is awful. If your at the shops could you forgive yourself? Would your dp/dh accept that?

kalo12 · 02/12/2008 13:45

no
the thing is that ok a 1 min walk away sounds do - able and you could i bet do it once / twice with no problem, the problem is not that something extreme might happen, its more that you would have crossed a threshold, so therefore say, 'well a shop five mins away is not much different from one minute, well going in the neighbours for a glass of wine is not much different' etc etc,

I remember my mum and dad debating one afternoon whether to leave my 12 yr old sister in the house alone for the firsat time whilst they went for a walk round the park for 20 mins.
They decided not to in the end , so my dad and sis went out to the sweet shop and my mum stayed at home. A man climbed in through the window whilst my mum was there, she shouted at him and he left. Imagine !!!

expatinscotland · 02/12/2008 13:46

no.

nickytwotimes · 02/12/2008 13:48

No bloody way.

If you need something that badly, get the kid up!

leoleomakingalist · 02/12/2008 13:50

My parents left me once when I was about 7 or 8 with my sister who was asleep I think at a guess she might have been 1yo. God knows where they went I can't remember but my sister woke up crying so I tried to give her a drink she wouldn't stop. I was so upset I run to a neighbors just as they come home.. I don't know where they went I guess it might have been down the road or something they wasn't gone long but it felt like eternity.

Colditz · 02/12/2008 13:53

No. Ds1 nearrly choked on his own vomit at 5 months old. I heard him because of the baby monitor.

And yes, you could be home in 5 minutes, or you could be hit by a car, leaving your children alone until such time someone bothers to look for them.

cheesesarnie · 02/12/2008 13:53

'Why don't you all just stand next to the cot and watch them sleep? '

no,but children are portible.

Original poster

chloemegjess · 02/12/2008 13:55

I think to say the baby might wake up scared that nobody was there is a bit OTT. DO you really run up the stairs at the first noise? I know I don't. Even if DD woke up, she wouldn't miss me for 2 mins, She would sit and play in her cot. I am not one to leave babies to cry or anything, but 2 mins awake in a cot is really not going to do them any harm? It would take you longer to get to the cot if you were in the shower and she woke up than if you were out on a 1 min walk?

OP posts:

XmasFairyGrrrl · 02/12/2008 14:00

Chloemegjess said: I think to say the baby might wake up scared that nobody was there is a bit OTT. DO you really run up the stairs at the first noise? I know I don't. Even if DD woke up, she wouldn't miss me for 2 mins, She would sit and play in her cot. I am not one to leave babies to cry or anything, but 2 mins awake in a cot is really not going to do them any harm?

It's not just the walk though, is it? It's waiting in the shop too. And maybe yours is perfectly happy in their cot, but others aren't. And i do go straight to their door if they are crying yes- i can at least peep through the door and see what's wrong, even if i don't in or pick them up. And at least 50% of the reason i wouldn't do it is fear of being reported by someone, which is quite feasible. I would fancy explaining why i'd left them to social services etc.

XmasFairyGrrrl · 02/12/2008 14:01

wouldn't obviously, not would!

Original poster

chloemegjess · 02/12/2008 14:06

I am not saying that you should do it at all, please don't get me wrong. I would never do it. I just don't think that baby waking up is really relevant for a couple of mins.

xmasfairy - so if you were in the shower, and you DC woke up, would you quickly get out, go upstairs etc with shampoo on your hair? If it were me, I would finish off my shower as quick as I could, stick a towel/dressing gown on and then go up. I don't think this would be quicker than this?

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ginnny · 02/12/2008 14:07

I definitely wouldn't leave a toddler/baby alone.
But what age is it OK to do this. My dss are nearly 9 and 5 and I still can't bring myself to leave them, even to pop up the shop.

XmasFairyGrrrl · 02/12/2008 14:09

chloe- don't know how big your house is, but i live in a 2 bed terraced house. If one of my boys started bawling i can be out, towelled and at their door in under 20secs!

XmasFairyGrrrl · 02/12/2008 14:09

and my bathroom is upstairs anyway!

Original poster

chloemegjess · 02/12/2008 14:10

My bathroom is downstairs, didn't really think of that part. So you wouldn't finish your shower?

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XmasFairyGrrrl · 02/12/2008 14:14

i would after i'd checked what was wrong and sorted it yes. I'm not saying i'd be out with shampoo in my hair if they were just starting to winge- i mean proper crying.

Thing is, if i found out my CM or PIL had gone somewhere and left the kids alone in the house, i'd be furious, so it's no different for me to do it, is it? And explaining to a social worker that left your kids alone because you fancied a cup of tea sounds just a bit lame!

OrmIrian · 02/12/2008 14:17

At the risk of seeming patronising, I think it does make a difference if you have older children too. There was an occasion when my eldest was at a karate class 2 mins walk away from home. DH couldn't get back from work in time to pick him up as we had expected. So I was at home with a 5yr old DD and a 1yr old DS with a cold, a 7yr old DD stuck at a karate class. It was November, pitch dark and freezing. I could have take both children out in the cold, left DS#1 at his class until DH got home, or left sleeping DS and perfectly calm and happy DD for a brief time.

I made one choice. Other people might have made another. Doing without bread and milk is one thing, leaving a 7yr old child stuck outside a youth centre at night is another. But the principle is the same, assuming that the trip to the shop wasn't for a copy of the paper and a danish pastry

Nothing is ever black and white.

Dropdeadfred · 02/12/2008 14:19

i would have taken the other children...after al it would only have been a 2 min walk?

Original poster

chloemegjess · 02/12/2008 14:19

Not sure where the tea came into it.

And also my DD wouldn't be crying if she had just woken up, so irrelvant to me. To be honest, my DD only really cries if she has hurt herslef which is unlikly in her cot. So maybe I have a different view as I know she wouldn't be upset.

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