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Original poster

is this inappropriate?

146 replies

myermay · 22/11/2008 21:31

Is it a dreadful thing to let you 6 year old take their ds to church whilst we attend a christening?? Admittidly i don't let him bring it out when we go for dinner as i like us all to chat but is it so bad for an hour long christening service provided the sound is turned off? i would normally take him a magazine/toys to keep him quite anyway, so is this acceptable or rude?

OP posts:
bella29 · 23/11/2008 16:55

Got it! The perfect solution! Churches should install DVD screens in back of pews so any members of the congregation who are not terribly interested can tune into comething a bit livelier. Headphones next to your prayer books, ladies and gentlemen

Not a church goer but if they put on Mamma Mia or similar I might pop in for an hour or two...

badgermonkey · 23/11/2008 17:15

A book? Now I'm a dedicated reader (I have been known to read on the walk home, only looking up to cross roads) but even I wouldn't dream of reading a book during a church service, and I say that as a die-hard atheist.

solidgoldbrass · 23/11/2008 17:20

I still don't see the problem, if you are in a church or whatever for someone else's benefit (ie you have to accompany someone else to a service because you are their carer/parent or you have to take a child to a service because there is no one else to mind him/her) but you're not interested - why sholdn't you read quietly. For instance should there come a point when DS wants to go to church, I will have to take him but I will definitely take a book then.

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Smithagain · 23/11/2008 17:20

Would it be too much to ask for a parent to seize the opportunity to expose their child to an unfamiliar situation (Christening) and actually learn something from the experience. Like what goes on in a church, why they do it, what the stuff on the walls is for, who the bloke at the front with the dress is, etc, etc, etc. Even if you don't believe. Presumably you are going to allow him to make up his own mind about religion - he won't get much chance if he's not allowed to actually experience any cos he's too busy blasting some alien creature on the quiet.

Or does he take his DS to RE lessons as well, just in case it is (perish the thought) a little bit unfamiliar to him.

thenewme · 23/11/2008 17:21

It is only an hour and a 6 year old is old enough to sit quietly.

Majeika · 23/11/2008 17:28

Am totally with Moondog!!!

No to ds Nintendos, Wii, Gameboy, XBox, crap crap and more crap.......when the hell do people have TIME to do all these things?

Seriously, when do you play with these games?

Absolutely NO to a ds for the Christening but OK to take a pen and paper if you have to.

For some reason kids and adults think that they have to be entertained 24/7 and it stops them thinking for themselves! Appalling.

I am working with SALT atm and the attention span of the kids I work with is shocking! and when asked what their fave toy was - computers, Xboxes and DsNintendos!!

Read a book FGS! Do a puzzle! Learn how to play a bloody game with your parents! Some of the kids I work with (age 6) have NO IDEA how to play Snakes and Ladders - have no idea how to take turns or move the counter.

BouncingTurtle · 23/11/2008 17:29

Yes it is highly inapproriate - if my 7yo dss who has Asperger's can sit quietly through an hour long service, then so can your son.
So what if he's bored? He can't go through life expecting to be constantly entertained!

bella29 · 23/11/2008 17:36

My ds (6) doesn't even want a DS. I don't think he knows what they are tbh. He is too busy drawing, colouring, building lego, k'nex and meccano or making dens and role playing.

Oh, and interacting with his parents and sister.

How strange are we?

bella29 · 23/11/2008 17:43

Just asked him - he doesn't know.

At the start of term his classmates had to draw what they did all summer. The saddest picture was one boy's which just said: 'I played my x box, I played my x box, I played my x box'

sandyballs · 23/11/2008 17:55

I really can't believe anyone would think that is acceptable? A ds in church . It's not doing him any favours at all if you are ensuring that he is constantly amused and entertained. Sometimes things are boring, he needs to learn that, particularly by 6 years old.

I went to a wedding recently where people were takling on their mobiles during the service . I was really amazed how some people had managed to get to their 30s/40s and have no idea whatsoever how to behave in church. I'm not a church goer either, or not anymore, had to go every Sunday when I was a kid.

My 7 year old DDs have recently started Brownies and had their first church parade recently. I was a little bit worried how they would behave as they are a lively pair, to say the least, and they have never been in a church before. They accepted that they had to sit there quietly and do as they were told by Brown Owl (I was at the back watching anxiously). Good experience IMO.

pointydog · 23/11/2008 17:57

inappropriate. What's wrong with people these days. It's only one hour. It's a busy church. Depending on the denomination there will probably be lovely things to look at around the church, there will be lots of epople to look at, there will be talking to listen to and maybe even pick up a bit of what is going on. There will probably be lots of chatting, moving about, eating afterwards.

Listening, observing, thinking about what is happening around you - all great skills to have.

Take part in life, don't just make excuses and shut off every time it gets a little bit boring.

pointydog · 23/11/2008 17:58

and I am not against ds's at all

bella29 · 23/11/2008 17:59
PandaG · 23/11/2008 18:03

have no problem with DS's in moderation, in fact am buying them for my 2 for CHristmas - 9 and 6.5. However, I would not take one to be used during a church service. Book or drawing maybe, but not a computer game.

THat said, at our church this is a small band of DS players who sit together after the service playing with and watching each others' games and chatting together, while their parents drink coffee and chat. Perfectly acceptable them imo.,

piscesmoon · 23/11/2008 18:44

'Even if you don't believe. Presumably you are going to allow him to make up his own mind about religion '

You would like to think so-unfortunately I think a lot of parents think they can 'tell' their DC what to believe! They have freedom of choice as long as it goes along with the parent! (I think I am a bit cynical).

Cadelaide · 23/11/2008 18:58

Why is a book/drawing OK, but not a DS?

You are a bunch of weirdy luddites.

Fillyjonk · 23/11/2008 18:59

oh I love these threads, they make me feel all smug

bella29 · 23/11/2008 19:01

I know, fillyjonk

Bit hot from all the flaming, though, isn't it?

I do feel a bit sorry for the OP now

donnie · 23/11/2008 19:05

smithagain I love ya! could not agree more. Also am loving moondog on this thread.

How risible and also slightly sad that some people are not capable of sitting through a church service and have to take a book to get them through...why bloody go at all then? how rude and churlish is that? why not file and paint your nails while you're at it? maybe make a few calls on your mobile too. Take a little telly and watch some choice tv like 'I'm a celebrity' or something.

People who indulge their children and give them some kind of false stimulus at every opportunity are ruining their ability to think and observe for themselves. Why would you want to give a 6 year old a tinny little computer game as an alternative to witnessing a christening? so what if they won't understand it all? so what if they get a bit bored or the language is beyond them? that's a far more meaningful stimulus, IMO.

charmander · 23/11/2008 19:15

Will I agree with moondog et al this maybe because my parents used to bring books to my orchestra concerts and read through the whole thing.

dinny · 23/11/2008 19:17

PD's point: "Take part in life, don't just make excuses and shut off every time it gets a little bit boring."

v true

cory · 23/11/2008 19:44

solidgoldbrass on Sun 23-Nov-08 17:20:37
"I still don't see the problem, if you are in a church or whatever for someone else's benefit (ie you have to accompany someone else to a service because you are their carer/parent or you have to take a child to a service because there is no one else to mind him/her) but you're not interested - why sholdn't you read quietly."

I am sure it is of great benefit to the congregation to see exactly how boring you find it all. Personally, I think I do my children a greater service by encouraging them to take an interest in whatever is going on around them.

I am not a luddite at all; nintendo ds or Thomas Aquinas' collected works makes no difference to me. If my children are going to a christening, or any other event, I want them to feel part of it, not to switch off because they are there for somebody else's benefit. If they have been invited, they are guests in their own right and if they are 6 years old they should have some conception of how guests behave.

Smithagain · 23/11/2008 22:37

Why thank you Donnie

Also, for the record, I'm not that keen on books/drawing in church except in dire emergency. Not for a child who is old enough to take an interest in what's going on. Maybe during a long sermon, but IME not many churches these days expect children to sit through long sermons anyway - there will be something else going on for them, or the service will be geared up for all ages. Hopefully.

solo · 23/11/2008 22:41

Not nice at all IMO/E. My cousin played with a noisy video game when I got married(1984)and you could hear beep beep beep all through the wedding video!

Cadelaide · 23/11/2008 22:44

Actually, perhaps yes it would be rude.

I suggest a slate, or perhaps a small rag doll (muted colours only please).