Is co-sleeping something to be ashamed of?

[emkana]

I'm reading "the fat ladies club - facing the first five years" at the moment. It's about four women and their experiences with their children.
What struck me in the book was that in the chapter on sleep the women were very apologetic about letting their children sleep in their beds, saying that they knew that it was bad parenting etc. They also seemed ashamed for being "soft" at bedtime, cuddling or feeding to sleep, feeling that it was the right thing to do to be tough and let them fall asleep by themselves. I've come across this kind of attitude many times, in RL too, and I just don't get it.

Co-sleeping is not for everyone, fair enough, and some people feel that their children should fall asleep by themselves. But why should the "soft" approach be bad parenting????? I've always co-slept with my dd1 who's nearly 4 now, and I've always fed her to sleep for as long as she wanted, and she's a great sleeper and a lovely child, so it hasn't done any harm! Shouldn't it just be personal choice, without parents being made to feel guilty if they choose to be "soft"???

Isn't the implication that you're letting children have too much power in the family, by usurping the man's role, making him wait for his sexual gratification...?

Either that, or it's a sign that you are unable to discipline your child properly.

Of course, it's nobody's business how I run my sex life, but it's sex & discipline that people are thinking about when they look down on you for CSing.

we have always had ds come into our bed in the wee hours and sometimes put him back but usually he stays, it is one of the great joys of family life for us, I can't think of anything more perfect than waking up in a group cuddle.
But ds goes to sleep in his own bed at 8 pm so there's plenty of scope for a private life for us before he appears between 4 am and 6! About 8 hours actually........... some of which is useful for sleeping purposes naturally!
Of course, each to his own - and for those who can't get enough sleep, maybe it's not ideal for them.