Just really lost it over constant squabbling, screaming & bickering between 2 and 4 year old

[Poppychick]

Is this normal? As soon as I turn my back they're tugging at toys, the little one screams so the older one joins in which winds me up as she's almost four. The smaller one WILL NOT share and just goes into melt down at the thought of it, then she follows on from that with screaming and 'pretend' crying that she can turn on and off.

It's getting to the point where I'm saying they're not allowed to play together which seems utterly ridiculous and not what I want but I can't take any more.

Would you put them in their seperate rooms when they're playing without an adult? Keep one upstairs and one downstairs? Both are manageable on their own.

Felt like putting them outside and leaving them to it just now. Hate feeling like this. Please give me some practical suggestions.

Normal.
Talk to them and sort out which toys which child is playing with. Let the 4yo know the 2yo is younger and could she help you to show her how to be nice to each other.
If they really won't agree about a toy they are arguing about, take it off them and tell them that no-one can have it because they need to be able to play not fight.
Join in with them for a while if you have the time so that you can watch them and intervene if you see that they are going to start arguing. If you can't join in, try to be somewhere where you can keep an eye on things.

They are only 2 and 4 and still at the stage where they sometimes need a lot of direction when it comes to playing together.
I still have to intervene with my 8yo and 5yo at times when they clash in what they want.

Thanks, reassuring to know. I do join in lots of the time and try to model these things but clearly it isn't sinking in.

Hopefully things will get better soon.

lots of praise and gushing about how well they are playing together (when it happens) has really helped our 2ds (4 and 2).

It tends to happen around 4 o'clock when I'm tired and everyone wants dinner, dh comes home, the phone is always going etc... so I take a deep breath, take the time to play, reassure the kids, distract etc..make myself a cup of tea and make dinner as quickly as possible (unless I can tempt them into helping cook dinner nb...only happens when I have a lot of spare patience..otherwise they bicker that one of them has cut up/ eaten more or whisked etc.. etc..!!!). Its a natural part of growing up, testing boundaries between themselves and us..finding whats acceptable etc...and I have to tell myself if they see me overreact and shout then they'll associate that as acceptable behavior etc..i often talk to our older ds and ask if he see's/hears mummy and daddy shouting/ pushing / snatching etc.when things aren't fair and going as we want etc..and he giggles and smiles and says no..I shouldn't do it to (ds2) etc...