You know what? Kids don't actually wither and die if someone says "no" to them...

[Fillyjonk]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

long story, but really, fgs.

Sometimes it is good to just say to kids "ok, you know what? It really IS someone else's turn/time tp gp home/time to stop whacking that toddler".

Oh and "NO you can't have another ice cream, you've had 3 already and its only 11 o clock"

aaaaaaaaaaaargh

ok feel better

My friend has a little girl. An only who is never ever told no. She has whatever she wants if her parents can afford it. Her mother is a nice woman. I know for a fact that the child goes to be when she feels like it, and doesn't eat proper meals if she doesn't want to (spaghetti hoops in a bowl for dinner) despite her mother cooking a good meal every night.

She's a nice little girl. She's reasonably polite, reasonably lively - normal. Ditto ds1, who has been brought up with no veg-no pudding since he was old enough to understand that, toys at Christmas and birthdays, sweets on Fridays, and bedtime by 8pm.

the conclusion? You have to seriously fuck it up to make a great deal of difference.

Am inclined to agree to some extent SC. I have a cousin who was the most appallingly spoilt brat when she was a kid. Went to her wedding recently, was expecting her to be a total bridezilla, she was the most laid-back, considerate, sweet and decent bride I've ever met. No accounting for it.

I agree that if they feel loved, secure and valued then you can't go far wrong.