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Parenting

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Original poster

2.9yr old dd will only poo in nappy... experiences of getting through this please!

13 replies

missymum · 22/10/2008 20:54

hi everyone
my dd refused to wear nappies from 2.4 and was potty trained within a day or so of doing so. She totally led the process with no pressure from us and i was amazed at the lack of hassle involved..however then went back to nursery after a week away and from that point on refused to poo in the potty or toilet and would get very distressed, demanding a nappy. i reluctantly went along with this because i was worried it would become a witholding problem as have seen many friends go through that and know how upsetting it is for all. therefore i am now completely stuck in a rut and don't know how to progress. dd now sits on potty in bathroom with nappy on to poo. she freaks if i try to undo it a little .she has complete control over her bowels, never gets constipated or witholds and goes everyday. have tried bribery with choc buttons,or small gifts, reward chart and stickers etc. (sticker charts have worked brilliantly for other stuff recently.)nothing will budge her and she gets v upset. am so frustrated and fed up with 6 months of this and finding it really hard not to get angry with her although i think she knows it winds me up . out of desperation for the last 2 nights i cut a hole in the nappy,(!) dd did not notice the hole or any difference in sensation and while she was very pleased to see a poo in the potty and we made a huge fuss, praise etc,tonight she made a terrible fuss when i suggested trying without. H/V said she will grow out of it.. am not convinced that she will in near future soon as feel its a control issue and dd has always been very very detirmned. would be very grateful to hear any postive experiences... thanks!

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Original poster

missymum · 22/10/2008 21:33

bump

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swampster · 22/10/2008 21:37

My friend's daughter did this for about six months around the time she started nursery (at three). She doesn't do it anymore. It will pass, and probably more quickly if you treat it as no big deal.

TheGreatScootini · 22/10/2008 21:42

My DD does this.(Same age)Am not making a big deal out of it..I hope she will grow out of it in the end..have to pick my battles with DD though-she is what you might call 'spirited' (or if you were calling a spade a spade, a real brat, at the moment)

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Original poster

missymum · 22/10/2008 21:51

yes, realise its important to not make a big deal of this.. and despite my feelings i try not to in front of dd. however, have read a bit about it and see that it often does last a long time and would like to prevent this if possible... especially as she stars pre school in january..

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oopsacoconut · 22/10/2008 21:57

We had this problem with a little boy i used to look after (I'm a nanny) we started by cutting a tiny hole in the nappy before putting it on - then when he poo'd on the loo and it went in we told him it was such a good poo it made a hole, slowly over a period of 2 weeks the hole got bigger and he eventually wore only the nappy legs and band but no bottom IYSWIM. It was a long road but it worked and he is happy to go to the loo now.

Original poster

missymum · 22/10/2008 22:09

thanks oopsa. have already started with the hole in nappy already so will carry on as you suggest, thanks

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Monkeytrousers · 22/10/2008 22:11

DS still does this and he's just turned 4. Am not too fussed as he only even does it at home but will watch this thread for hints for furture if he's still doing it at 24

Monkeytrousers · 22/10/2008 22:13

also ds is regular as clockwork so it;s never been an issue at nursery. She is v young so I don;t think you should be too worried. like someone said above - pick your battles

MyPumpkinDsHappyHalloweenBday · 22/10/2008 22:19

oops sorry that tale is soo funny.
my dd was the same except she was wise to the hole in the nappy, she was about 3 1/2 before oneday she suddenly pooed on the toilet, we screamed the street down.
she went to pre-school and we prayed she didnt need a poo before luch time.
the less fuss made the better, easier said than done i now.

you seem to be doing great miss.

smellyeli · 22/10/2008 22:19

DS is just 4. Until he was 3.7 he would only poo in a nappy. I really worried about this, especially with another baby arriving. Tried all sorts, star charts, outright bribery.

All of a sudden he just clicked. Now he poos in every toilet he sees. I wish I had stressed less about it. I was really embarassed to tell people, as he is so tall for his age. But now he's fine. So my advice would be - she is still pretty young, it will happen, try not to worry, avoid making a thing out of it. Pre-school will be fine - it's not as if she's witholding, or poo-ing behind the furniture like my friend's DD!

But good luck with the hole method too....

Original poster

missymum · 22/10/2008 22:26

funny..? god, at the start of this i was able to laugh and be laid back about it..6 months on my humour is failing and now it is referred to as the 'poo debarcle' by me and dh!
MIL full of critical comments too. but seriously i know this will end at some point... just want it to be soon i guess!

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Original poster

missymum · 22/10/2008 22:29

i must admit seeing her waddle off to the bathroom with her bottom sticking out the back of the nappy with hole i did quietly pmsl!

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seeker · 22/10/2008 22:34

My ds wouldn't poo in the loo until he was well over 3.5. I just put a nappy on him when he asked, he did a poo then I put his pants back on. The one day he said he needed a poo and went and did it in the loo. Can't see the problem - but then I am notoriously lax about potty training. And about everything els, I suppose too!

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