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Did I handle this one ok ? Opinions / advice gratefully received.

5 replies

Northumberlandlass · 20/10/2008 08:08

My DS (5) plays with a girl(6.5) who lives a couple of doors up from us, they are the only two young children on the street. They play most afternoons after school and a lot at the weekend. They play at either house, sometimes in our living room and sometimes in their bedrooms.

The girl (I now will call X) was at our house on Saturday afternoon and they were playing in DS room.

My DH and were watching TV downstairs, when it had all gone quiet. I went to the bottom of the stairs and asked if everything was ok.

Me: Is everything ok up there?
DS: er, yes - if X's mum calls round don't tell her we are in my bedroom.
Me: Why?
DS: It's a secret.
Me: A good one or a bad one ?
DS: Well, X has no clothes on !
Me: What ? X get your clothes on right now and both of you come downstairs.
DS: Ok

Once downstairs, it transpired that my DS had dared X to take her clothes off . I tried to explain to them both (as calmly as possible) that it wasn't appropriate for a) DS to ask / dare any girl to take her clothes off b)X to do it. They both realised that what had happened wasn't acceptable.

I then took X home and talked to her mum about what had happened. X's mum seemed ok, but I feel terrible that this happened in our house. X got really upset when she saw her Mum and said she couldn't say 'no' to my DS as he said he wouldn't be her friend anymore.

When I got home, I talked it through with my DS. He seems to understand why it was so inappropriate.

Did I handle this ok ? I feel awful and it's really playing on my mind.

OP posts:
childrenofthecornsilk · 20/10/2008 08:09

I think you handled it well.

liath · 20/10/2008 08:12

I reckon you did fine. It sounds normal play at their age TBH, I wouldn't stress too much about it.

CharCharBaGOOOOOOORE · 20/10/2008 08:14

Sounds like you handled it well to me.

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Pheebe · 20/10/2008 08:16

God, at 5 and 6.5 they are both still innocent babies. Don't read anything into it, they are becoming aware of bodies not sex. Its only inappropriate becuase of our societal constraints. On the continent, esp in hotter countries, kids are often half naked til much older than this and no one bats an eyelid. You handled it just right imo

Northumberlandlass · 20/10/2008 08:43

Thanks SO much ! I know they are so young and it wouldn't of been about sex, but I feel bad that DS put X into that situation in our house.

Thanks again.

x

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