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Original poster

how to cope with 3 ???

20 replies

shrub · 04/03/2005 19:55

i have a 5 year old, 22 month old and expecting my third in 7 weeks time and just wanted to know how to do it!!
have been feeling very emotional during this pregnancy, probably due to tiredness and horrendous amount of diy. also found friends and famiy reactions difficult to deal with - lots of 'was it planned?', 'are you trying for a girl?', 'you're mad/brave!', lots of whistling through teeth etc. very little congratulations. it then makes me feel i have to prove everyone wrong and show them - but how??
mainly worried about how to cope with breastfeeding and mornings,school run is a 20min drive but remembering newborns take up to an hour to feed. how did/do you all organise yourselves?

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Jimjams · 04/03/2005 20:03

well I'm managing with a 5 year old autistic son and a 3 year old as well as 8 week old I do have one thing easier than most-ds1 has transport - so no school run for him (although a flexible nursery run for ds2).

the hardest thing I find really is that ds1 and ds3 both need full individual attention when they need attention- and if the need coincides then I'm stuffed. Ds2 slots in easily though as he can be dealt with from afar.

otherwise I shop online and demand that dh pulls his weight. Not finding it any more stressful than with 2 tbh. I even managed a trip to get ds2 some conker shoes last week (ds1 was at school obviously)

Jimjams · 04/03/2005 20:07

Take up any offers of help though. I got extra help in over half term as I would have struggled otherwise.

lilibet · 04/03/2005 20:09

Congratulations!

Mine are a bit more spaced out than yours, at the moment they are 16, 11 and 8.
When ds2 was born, dd was at school and ds1 was at nursery, so there was an awful lot of runnung about to do - and it was winter! Nursery started at 12.45, finished at 3 and then school finihsed at 3.15 and it was a 15 minute drive away so I was always rushing. Ds2 had to have a feed at 1.30 every afternoon whether he wanted one or not as I knew I didn't have time to do it any other time in the afternoon!
Ds2 was the most placid, lovely easy going baby - he seemed to know that I had so much to do, and he was the best at night, once again, perhaps he knew that i was knackered. I think that you will amaze yourself - it does all get done. And it's so lovely having a proper 'brood'

and FWIW, ds2's birth was by far the easiest of the three

Good luck!

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Loobie · 04/03/2005 20:10

Trust me you'll manage,the little ones tend to fit in with the others,my third did.
My eldest was 7 and the youngest was 5 when i had no.3 I was on my own from 5mths pg with dd(no.3)and my eldest has autism so if i can do it anyone can!!!Oh and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Boys are easier than girls anyway,i had 2 boys first then dd and all i can say about her is OH MY GOD what do i do with her,she is such a madam and so demanding.
Oh and did i say CONGRATULATIONS ON NUMBER 3!!!!!!!

Xena · 04/03/2005 20:22

I have to agree that no3 has just fitted in with the rest. Thankfully she is happy little thing, although she is quite advanced for her age I think its because she is encouraged by DS and DD1.

shrub · 04/03/2005 20:52

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Jimjams · 04/03/2005 20:56

Lovely shrub- I was hoping you might be in Willows I was looking for someone heavily pregnant. We're going back on 11th to pick up the shoes....

Lonelymum · 04/03/2005 21:04

CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy! That is what you most need to hear right now! Don't listen to other people saying you must be mad. I had that when I was pg with No 4 and it became a bit irritating actually as he was as planned as the other three.

Re breastfeeding and doing the school run, I have been there and done that and what you will find is that your baby has to fit in around the other children a lot more than the 2nd did around the first. Eg, if s/he wants to take an hour over feeding, it will have to be 10 / 20 mins or whatever before school and then the rest of the time after the school run. You will be amazed at how your baby will fit around this and probably won't protest about it at all. S/he will grow up a lot less demanding than your first child is likely to have been and will be much better at entertaining his/herself than the others.

shrub · 04/03/2005 21:06

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Jimjams · 04/03/2005 21:11

sounds good shrub. I have to pick them up after 12pm- maybe we could meet about 11ish? No family thing I'll just be puffing up the hill with ds2 and baby in a sling. (ds2 walking I mean )

Original poster

shrub · 04/03/2005 21:16

thanks lonelymum - its so personal when people ask 'was it planned?' i think i shall scream when the next person asks - its such a insensitive throw away comment! thanks for your comments about feeding - never thought i would have a choice - i think i was imagining phoning the school to say sorry we're going to be late!

OP posts:

Jimjams · 04/03/2005 21:23

one thing- becaause ds3 is always being picked up and carted off to places he doesn't really get a hge long sleep in the day- but he is sleeping very well at night (9 hours last night!)

Jimjams · 04/03/2005 21:24

one thing- becaause ds3 is always being picked up and carted off to places he doesn't really get a hge long sleep in the day- but he is sleeping very well at night (9 hours last night!)

shrub · 04/03/2005 21:27

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dinosaur · 04/03/2005 21:34

Agree about No 3 just seeming to slot in. For me it's been easier to go from 2 to 3 than it was to go from 1 to 2. Congratulation!

Lonelymum · 04/03/2005 21:43

Shrub, I thought I would be ringing the school to say my kids would be in late as I was b/fing the baby, but believe me, it never happened, and I can scarcely ever remember the baby screaming in the pram as I took his siblings to school. He just fell asleep and then woke up on our return and continued his feed! He is making up for it now though! Just turned two and a right little nuisance!

geogteach · 05/03/2005 19:51

I have DS nearly 4, DD 21 months and DS2 4 months I know exactly how you feel about the personal questions. On the whole I think no 3 does fit in, certainly on the feeding front, mine isn't kean on going out but needs must and i'm much less sensitive to him crying than if he was my first, in the house he is very placid and just watches the other 2 tear around.

Mog · 09/03/2005 17:15

I've got dd 3.5, ds 2 and a baby of 5 months. It is doable but it has been very hard at times as well. My lifesaver has been accepting any help I've been offered. Particularly having my mum to stay with us for several weeks at a time as you rightly have spotted that the mornings can be a bit manic (and I don't have the school run yet). Also I think by the third baby I had a sense of perspective and the difficult stage where the new baby is feeding a lot really only lasts about 3 months. Already now things are getting a bit easier.
Overall it has been easier than I thought and so glad we had three. But there have been days when I've had my head in my hands but these moments pass.
Good luck and congrats on no 3

ChocolateGirl · 09/03/2005 20:36

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I have a ds1(4), a ds2 (2) and a dd who is nearly 1. 22 months between them both times.

You will be fine! I was really lucky because we live by the school so I knew that even if we went over there and back with a screaming baby it wouldn't be more than a 15 minute wait before she got a breastfed. Probably the baby will fall asleep in the car and if you find yourself feeding in the car a few times after you've dropped dc1 off at school, so what? I'd take some books, drinks and snacks etc. for the middle one and just not worry too much.

Hope all goes well for you.

Gobbledigook · 09/03/2005 20:40

You'll be fine shrub - my dss are 4 (just), 2 (just) and 6 months. Don't get me wrong, it's hard work but you work out your own routine for things and it's soooo worth it! I love seeing them all giggling together - it's fab having a little gang!

I know what you mean about the 'are you mad' etc - even now people look at me like I'm looney or stupid but who cares? I LOVE IT!

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