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Parenting

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Original poster

Help with 9mo DD's sleeping and general screaming.

20 replies

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 18:07

I'm having some real trouble with DD's sleeping habits.

During the day she is happy little girl always smiling and quite happy to sit and play alone or with us.

However, the last (near enough) fortnight we get to 5pm and she starts becoming wingey and clingy - but when you pick her up she screams aswell so I'm not sure.

Her routine lately is:

7:30 - up
8:30 - breakfast
10 (ish)bottle & nap
11:30 - up
1pm - lunch
she now gets a snack around 4pm.
then 6pm dinner
8pm - bottle & bed

She used to have a snack at 3 and a nap around 4pm till 5:30 but now I try and she screams the place down screaming till she's coughing her guts up and doing that sniffly thing kids do if they've cried too much.

Get to bedtime and its the same thing. unless I let her drink the bottle in her cot but I can't continue to do this as it is hurting my back having to lean over the cot holding her bottle.

She has also gone from sleeping through the night to waking at least once a night. The past 3 nights she's been up at least 3 times in the night. Last night she was up at 4am till 5:30am screaming all the time. She didn't want bottle or anything.

I'm at my wits end and knackered. DP normally works nights but he's off for a week on hols so I want to break the cycle while he's here to help.

She's also started to take this into daytime. If we take something away that she can't have she lets off this really high pitched scream and I don't know how to deal with this.

OP posts:

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 18:31

Please help cos she's at it now and I'm gonna pull my hair out.

She keeps crawling over to me so I pick her up she SCREAMS, I ignore her and let her play with my legs she SCREAMS. I'm at my wits end and am seriously thinking about mental hospital.

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 09/10/2008 18:42

I reckon at 9mo one nap and an 8pm bedtime is nowhere near enough sleep, hence the overtired clinging at 5pm.

I'd try anythign to get her to nap in the afternoon - pram walk, car ride etc

keep things she can't have out of her reach if you can

babyOcho · 09/10/2008 18:45

Have you tried moving her tea and bedtime earlier?

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Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 18:55

she used to have her tea alot later but we moved it forward to accomodate her any earlier and she'll be eating alone as we're really not ready to eat at 5pm.

As for keeping things out of reach there's some things that I just can't move any higher like the TV cabinet doors which she keeps trying to break,

I know that much sleep isn't enough but no matter what we try she won't sleep. The closest I've come was to putting her in the car but as soon as the engine stopped she woke up and we can't afford to be driving around for an hour. She won't sleep in pushchair - too much happening.

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MrsBadger · 09/10/2008 19:15

you don;t have to eat your meal with her - sit at the table with her and have a cup of tea yourself
then put her to bed and have supper with dh once she;s alseep

tv cabinet doors - get a child lock and some safety film and let her bang till she's fed up. Or put something in front of them (eg coffee table, footstool) She's not trying to break them.

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 19:29

No I know she's not trying to break them, they just make nice noises!! Just seems like it sometimes.

I'm at my wits end with her.... I know she's not old enough yet but it seems like she's doing stuff out of temper. I take something she can't have (like cat biscuits) off her and it takes a second to register like she's saying I'll make you give them back to me.

She's in bed yelling now. I just don't know what to do with her, I feel like a terrible mother who's on the verge of a nervous breakdown from lack of sleep and the fact that she pushes my buttons so well. I gave her a bottle as she had something to eat at 5pm, she fell asleep on me, stayed asleep while I took her upstairs then as soon as her back hit the cot she started screaming. I tried patting her back but still screaming so I picked her up and rocked her, she fell asleep... put her down SCREAMS!!

What the fricken hell am I doing wrong for gods sake?

OP posts:

Lilyloo · 09/10/2008 19:39

Lucky 'calm down' you sound so stressed out and dd will be picking up on it.
When you are tired it all seems too much to contemplate so have dp look after her for an hour or so while you get some sleep and then you can think straight again!
She is doing just the same as dd and it's bloody hard work but try not to think she 'knows what she is doing or pushing your buttons'. She is just beginning to know who you are and wanting to be with you hence the clingyness and anxiety when she isn't with you.
I agree she is overtired so tom try making her morning sleep at 10 shorter maybe half an hour and then get her up. Then she should hopefully have her longer sleep after lunch which then should see her through to bed time.
That way she can still have tea with you and dp but try earlier bedtime. DD is now bathed at 6 and in bed for 6.30.
I am not saying this will work and as you know dd isn't great at night but your dd sounds very overtired and that makes for an unhappy household for everyone.
As for the tv cabinet dd does it too it's great fun for her it has had a door broken off by dd so being held together with wood glue! It does get easier but they are into everything and it's bloody hardwork at times!
But don't forget the rewards

simpson · 09/10/2008 19:43

Lucky - you are not doing anything wrong at all...

My DD is hell between 4.30pm and 6pm. Constant screams to be picked up rubbing eyes etc. This happens even if she has slept loads. Think its normal for baby to be grouchy in evening.

However some things I have tried have helped.

I have moved her tea from 5pm to 4/4.15pm

When she is being especially bad like tonight I bath her (bad mummy doesn't do it every night )the bath seems to revive her and she can be in quite a good mood for 30mins afterwards.

She goes to bed VERY early at 6pm but it works for us. She never battles and because she had an early tea takes a full bottle before bed.

Hope things improve soon. I know what its like having a whingey baby DD does her fair share!!

Kelix · 09/10/2008 19:44

Your doing absolutley nothing wrong!

My DD has gone off napping during the day (she has only had 50 mins in total today and has been up since 8.45) and does tend to be a big grumpy around tea time. Is she teething or anything - something that might be waking her when she does manage to nod off? Have you tried offering her a drink of water when she gets whingy? Know it sounds strange but DD got really upset one day and after trying everything I offered her a drink & she drank loads then was fine after.

As for attempting to break the cabinate doors theres not really much you can do except try to put a child lock on it. My DD is trying to comb the DVD player as we speak lol

Main thing to remember - you are doing nothing wrong!! Kids are a pain sometimes and we just have to do our best. This as evrything else will pass and another challenge will follow.

Kelix · 09/10/2008 19:45

Your doing absolutley nothing wrong!

As for attempting to break the cabinate doors theres not really much you can do except try to put a child lock on it. My DD is trying to comb the DVD player as we speak lol

Main thing to remember - you are doing nothing wrong!! Kids are a pain sometimes and we just have to do our best. This as evrything else will pass and another challenge will follow.

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 19:46

I've finally gotten her to sleep by putting her to bed and going in every 5 mins... She's SCREAMED so much and can probably be characterised as having screamed her self to sleep which I feel terrible about but unfortunaly DP is in bed as he has a meeting tonight at work so couldn't do anything and I was scared about the fact I was getting angry with her.

Lilly - My LOVELY DP did this for me this morning. He took DD downstairs and I was in bed till 11:30am but now feel knackered again.

OP posts:

Kelix · 09/10/2008 19:48

Your doing absolutley nothing wrong!

As for attempting to break the cabinate doors theres not really much you can do except try to put a child lock on it. My DD is trying to comb the DVD player as we speak lol

Main thing to remember - you are doing nothing wrong!! Kids are a pain sometimes and we just have to do our best. This as evrything else will pass and another challenge will follow.

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 19:49

Kelix - I have no idea if she's teething. she is showing no signs of it other than screaming if she is.

I'd tried everything tonight to be honest. I gave her a snack just before posting on here which she threw on the floor, juice, milk (got her to sleep but she woke up again) she had a clean bum, clean PJ's..... I just don't know.

I can't bath her whenever as the water takes at least an hour to heat up which is annoying to I have to plan ahead!! lol

OP posts:

smellen · 09/10/2008 19:56

Could you try waking her up after 30-60mns from her morning nap, and trying to put her down around 2pm for another hour. Often they sleep well after lunch, digesting is hard work and all that.

She would then be less tired late afternoon, and might go down better for you around 7.

Would agree with MrsBadger; you could give her an early tea and then start your bedtime routine a bit earlier. If it is a hassle to cook twice (once for her, once for DP), cook for you & DP, and put aside a portion for her lunch the next day. Then if she has had a cooked lunch you can give her soup & toast or egg on toast in the evening and it's less hassle.

Also, not sure if juice at bedtime will help with sleep - my nephew used to go into overdrive if he had OJ at all. Milk/water might be better in the afternoons.

Don't mean to sound prescriptive, these are just suggestions (that's the sort of routine that has worked for me, but different horses for courses or strokes for folk or whatever)

Twelvelegs · 09/10/2008 19:58

I wouldn't hold the bottle, just leave her to it.

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 19:59

Will try and remember that about juice then. Maybe that's making her hyper I don't know.

We tried the waking her thing on Monday but vowed never to do it again after the fowl mood she awoke in.... Could try it though. Will take anything at the moment to not feel this guilty and worn out.

OP posts:

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 20:00

She won't hold her bottle - she holds her juice bottle but she won't hold her milk.

OP posts:

Twelvelegs · 09/10/2008 20:01

sellotape it to her hands

Original poster

LuckySalem · 09/10/2008 20:02

sounds like a good idea ;) I think maybe the milk is too heavy as her juice bottle is only a small tommee tipee one.

OP posts:

Liz79 · 09/10/2008 20:31

we push 10mo dd round the park with a jacket hung over the hood of the pram and tucked in round the sides and bottom. That makes it dark and she can't see out. Still have to walk for ages mind but less than if she can see

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