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Parenting

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Original poster

Large age gap advice

11 replies

thunder2006 · 29/09/2008 18:05

Hi there,found out last week we're pregnant, when the baby arrives our son and daughter will be 8 and 13 years old! Anyone got any hints, tips, advice.

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misi · 29/09/2008 21:40

act as normal!!

I was 12 when my sister was born and I was very protective of her. I actually am probably guilty of pushing my dad out of the way a bit as I did take on some fatherly roles, oops!!

I know several people who have age gaps like this, and mostly it has worked out well, less sibling rivalry than if they were much closer together as long as you involve the older kids as much as they want to be involved and not force them too. (it can be easy to fall into asking for help from the older kids with the baby, then get into the habit of telling them to do things when they don't really want to. helping out can be fun, can be rewarding and can be helpful and responsible, but just remember they are kids too.

hope that helps?

coochybottom · 29/09/2008 21:51

After trying for 4years I had twin boys when my son was 9. I think they will be fine!

Sawyer64 · 29/09/2008 21:56

My DS was 8 when my first DD came along,absoulutely loved being a Big brother( novelty has worn off a little now she is 4),absoulutely dotes on DD2 who is almost 2 yrs old.

No problems,no jealousy as he is older and understands things more.He is also such a help too.I can't wait until hes old enough to babysit too!

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GentleOtter · 29/09/2008 22:05

Congratulations thunder! It will be fine - there are big gaps between my lot 14 years then eleven years then a baby.

My dd was a little bit jealous at first as she had been the youngest for years but now she is a lovely help and the LO adores her. They play well together and it is good when she reads stories to him.

The older ones tend to be leaving school as the next one begins but overall it nice having large age gaps.

Leenie · 30/09/2008 09:46

i have two girls, a 17yr old, 15 yr old and now a six week baby boy, i never thought i would have another baby, and practically everyone i know thinks i was crazy to start again, all i can say is its the best thing that could have happened to us, my girls absolutely adore their baby brother, and are so much help, it has even calmed them down with regards to wanting to go out all the time, its like having my first all over again and my younger girl is happy not to be the baby anymore, definately no jealousy or any of the issues i had when i had the first two, they are so proud of their little brother and have said they never knew they could have loved him so much, my 15 yr old was at the birth and rushes home from school every day to be with him, i really involved them with every stage of the pregnancy, even the ups and downs as they were old enough to understand, they would talk to my bump and make him kick, i agree with misi, in that i wouldnt expect them to help all the time, thankfully i never have to really ask them to do things for me now, they do it cos they want to, like if i am breast feeding him, one of them will arrive in my bedroom with a cuppa and a cake for me, good luck, and enjoy every step of it . x

largeginandtonic · 30/09/2008 09:54

Congrats Thunder! Fab news.

Leenie that is lovely what lovely girls you have.

I have a younger brother and sister (9 and 10 year gap) and loved it! I used to pretend they were mine and take them out, help my mom etc. I never felt any jealousy at all.

Twelveyeargap is on here somewhere, she has a 12 year gap (obviously) and has just had another baby too. She would be good to ask. If i see her will send her over

pagwatch · 30/09/2008 14:15

MY DS1 was 10 when DD arrived.
It is lovely . He is a great big brother and is very tolerant and helps me with her.
Last year ( aged 15) he walked her to school most mornings which was lovely and caused much swooning amongst the older girls

10krunner · 01/10/2008 10:45

I have DS1 who is 16, DS2 is 8 and a 15 month old DD - its great

jooseyfruit · 01/10/2008 10:57

ds1 is 11,dd is 8 and ds2 is 7 months. It's brilliant and they all love lo so much, and want to play with him and amuse him constantly!

The only problem i can forsee is days out, when everyone will have different ideas of what a good day out will be iykwim!

GodzillasBumcheek · 01/10/2008 11:01

Congratulations! I have two 11 yo and a 21 month old - the older two are great help, you may find it's quite fun, and they are likely to have less of the jealousy issues too, being old enough to want to be independent already!

cikecaka · 01/10/2008 11:09

Congrats, I had a 8,9,11yr old when DD came along, she is the light of their lifes, they still get excited every morning when she gets up and the way they greet her when they come in from school, would make your heart smile. She has brought great joy and you enjoy them more when there is a gap because you know how fast they grow up!

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