not sure where to post this! nearly 7 year old dd still having wet knickers at the end of most days!!!

[kerryk]

this has been a problem since she was potty trained at 2 years one month (was not pushed into it she was showing every sign that she was ready)

she did not have loads of accidents and was always dry during the day but would go through stages when from around 4-00pm onwards i would notice her knickers were a bit wet.

we are talking just a dribble btw, not enough to go through her trousers.

i have had her to the doctors quite a few times, she has been tested for infections but they have always come back clear.

i get the impression that the doctor just thinks she is lazy (i have thought this myself) but she is getting older now and it is still a problem.

since going back to school after the holidays she has been coming out 3-00 a bit wet but i am starting to smell her now, we went right to my parents last week after school was finished and she was stinking in the car. its only a matter of time before her friends start to notice and then her life will be hell.

does anyone have any ideas what i can do about this?

i have tried charts, rewards, stickers (even shouting sometimes although that has done no good ) but it is honestly like she could not care less. she is a bright popular child and i cant get to the bottom of why this is happening.

i really would appreciate any advice on this, i just dont know what to do!

i have tried looking on the internet to see if there is maybe something the doctors might not have picked up on but i am no further forward.

she can easily go 12 hours at night btw without getting up for the toilet and will be dry in the morning.

I know there was a post on something similar a while ago....and I said the same thing then? Is there a problem with her going to the loo at school.....I used to hate it and would "hold it" all day, but if her bladder is weaker, she may not be able to. May be worth asking her teachers whether she seems reluctant to go when others do, or if she feels worried about going in the middle of class? There were a few people who also felt the same when they were younger so I wasn't that wierd!!!

Ask for a referral to a urologist! Dd had weak bladder muscles and needed medication for a while. No point us sitting here trying to do a doctor's job- get that lazy slob of a GP to refer her to a specialist! There is no reason she should have to suffer this!

\link{http://www.eric.org.uk/\these people are brilliant/

My DS had a problem similar to this and it is more common than you think.

How is night time?

Tbh I would ignore it for the most past.

these people are brilliant

In the interim, why don't you give her pantyliners to wear, so that she doesn't end up wet or smelly?

If she is lazy, then this physical reminder may help.

We were also advised to avoid black currant juice and Coca Cola because they stimulate the bladder.

brillaint thanks everyone.

it is def not a problem with the toilets in the school, this is more of a problem after school than what it is during school hours.

she ig going back to the gp next week (a new one) so hopefully they will be able to help.

i had not even thought about pantyliners!!!

will try and get some today (if they make them small enough)

going to read the link properly now!!

the post might have been me ? i had smae prob with dd back in feb/march. this was really down to emotional issues tho. It came suddenly and she was peeing herself at every wee. Totally lost control, or even knew it was happening.

gp said to try a reward chart, and luckily for me it worked. i involved her fave subject 'cat' in the chart. She took a chart to school, and every time she did a wee on the loo, she could draw a cat on her chart. I spoke to the teacher, and she was allowed to just go to the loo without even asking.

Thye also kept reminding her, which i was a little worreid about, as i knew she didn't want to draw attention to it, yet the other kids didn't really cotton on.

It wasonly a few weeks into the prob that i realised that the growing 'wee' smell in her classroom, first thing inthe morning was becuase of her

She got 10p for every cat she drew. I think she got £7.20 the first week!!!

Along withthis, i just kept talking ot her, and adressing the problems she was having emotionally. I didn't know if the chart would help 'kick start' it but it did.

yes i sent off for the Eric info too.

My nearly 6yo dd has never been reliably dry since she was toilet-trained. I thought it might have been to do with the birth of ds2. The drs were always "Oh it's normal to have a few accidents at this age, she'll grow out of it", but her teachers began to be concerned.

I self-refered to the eneuresis clinic (I later learned that it had helped that I was very sleep-deprived by ds2, and had burst into tears on the phone), and they were supportive but not much help.

Eventually I fussed at the gps enough and they refered dd to paediatrics, who discovered that she does have a minor neurological problem which causes the frequent accidents. Thank you very much GPs .

Since then, proably because we unerstand her problem better, she generally has fewer accidents. But it's still a problem. At least it is being properly dealt with, now.

I think it sounds like your dd is losing control when she is physically tired. Try doing lots of pelvic floors in the morning, and in the evening after an active day, and you'll see what a difference being tired can make. I wonder whether it would be worth trying to teach her to do pfs?

I would push for a referal to paediatrics, so that they can properly assess you r dd. I agree that it is important to resolve this problem sooner rather than later, for social reasons.

thank you pretty candles.

you have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear that i am not alone, and what you describe is pretty much what we are going through.

how would i go about trying to teach her to do pelvic floor excercises? i would have no idea where to begin.

at least now i have something to question the gp about when i go next week. even if he decided not to refer her how would i go about doing it myself?

eoncoutage her to drink more.

my guess is she is leaking as she is hlding on so much her bladder is not giving her the signals.

she needs to be gently encouraged to go to the loo every 4 hours regularly even if she does not want to. this will regulate her bladder adn it will start picking up the signals

but do not make a fuss about it.

I was going to suggest pantyliners. Some of them are small ish and if they are uncomfortable, well she has to learn to hold it in so she doesn't need them.

tell her to squeeze like she wants to stop a wee coming and again and hold it and let go and squeeze and let go etc...
Reminding myself to do them now!

TBH I don't think pantyliners are a good idea. They may just teach her that the leaking doesn't matter. My dd's wetting improved (marginally) when I stopped carrying spare clothes around. At pre-school she used to say, quite openly, "It doesn't matter if I wet myself, because Mummy has spares." I didn't want her to get distressed, but I certainly didn't want her to think that it was OK not to even try to keep herself dry.

To identify the pf muscles go with your dd to the loo, make sure she is weeing in a relaxed manner (ie not tense or holding on to anything) and get her to stop the flow of urine, by squeezing her muscles internally. She shouldn't move the rest of her body. Then relaxing those muscles to let the flow begin again. It make take several visits for her to get the hang of it. You may need to demonstrate! Once she can do this encourage her to do the internal squeeze several times a day - when you get her up in the morning, and at bathtime, perhaps. Remind her not to stop the flow of her wee any more, because that is unhealthy. It is a useful way of identifying the muscles and tha action needed, but shouldn't be done otherwise. I don't know why, though.

I don't know whether this will help, but I doubt it would do any harm, either.

I self-refered by sobbing at talking to the school nurse. And then doing the same with the eneuresis nurse whom they got to call me.

Not deliberately, it was just all too much at that stage.