Need tips on how to end bed time of my 2 under 2 without both of them screaming...!

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

DD 21 months old
DS 8 weeks old

He won't settle without cluster feeding / rocking etc and will scream until he's purple as soon as he's put down anywhere.

She starts screaming as soon as he does as she's worried about it (I presume, depsite lots of reassurance).

Can anyone suggest anything that might help to avoid him screaming blue murder as I say goodnight to her and her screaming before I've had the chance to remove him from earshot??

Can you wear him in a sling? Alternatively can you lie down with them both in your bed? Never know they might both go to sleep at the same time!

p.s. I could sling him but he will take up to 45 mins to settle in the sling if he;s in a right old state with lots of messing about, so it's not ideal!! Dinner time for DD is also at 5:30 and we start bed at 6:30....

hmm, thats tricky.

Have you got a swing? or vibrating bouncy chair?

Are you trying to settle him to sleep at the same time?

I cuurently have ds1(3.3), dd(23months) and ds2 (4 weeks). I have found allowing extra time for all the cluster feeding helps, eg tea at 4.30, feed ds2 whilst the other 2 eat, clear up tea, feed ds2 again, tidy up their toys and herd them into the bath, feed ds2 again, bath ds2, feed ds2 again, get ds2 and dd out the bath and into pjs, feed ds2 again, etc.

I think he's shattered by 6 ish and actually wants to be asleep for the night from then but keeps needing to feed / has trouble dropping off, so I think he gets overtired.

Ideally I would put him to bed at 6pm when he's tired and then he' just wake happily for feeds but unfortunately he just doesn't seem to work like that. He's in effect an 'unhappy awake but can't get to sleep baby' I think.

No vibrating chair or swing!

Could you do hot meal midday and something cold pm (you could then have it pre-made) so easier to feed DS at the same time, feed again while DD is in the bath (sitting on toilet) and can you feed lying down? If you all lay on your bed DS can feed while DD has milk/bedtime story, then fingers crossed he will then stop for long enough and you can put DD to bed.

Im presuming there is no-one around who could put DD to bed for you.

Thats really tricky. All of mine were quite close together, I think I put the babies to sleep after the older ones (it was only last year I had DC4, so shouldn't be this hard to remember!)

If you can get your hands on a swing or chair its worth it. I borrowed a swing and it was invaluable for DC4.

Hi TYAGN

Would it be possible to bring DS into DD room and read a story to her while you feed?? Its tricky when there this age but it really does get easier.

It's between his feeds that are awkward as he just screams and grizzles until he falls asleep / is hungry again!

perhaps the way forward is to try to get DD not to scream when DS cries. Could you do lots of reassurance to DD that DS is OK?

I am clutching at straws I know, but this has me stumped!

It's a really tough time. When mine were this age I relied heavily on a Mothercare 'spring bouncing cradle' - just a bouncy chair, and not too expensive (£12.99). I would feed DD2 while DD1 was having tea, then bath them together, then put DD2 in the bouncy chair and rock it vigourously with my foot while reading stories to DD1, then DD1 into bed, feed DD2 again and then settle DD2. If DD2 was really unsettled then I would feed her while reading to DD1, but if possible I liked to try and have a little time with DD1 sitting on my lap and being cuddled and read to - hence the bouncy chair.

Thank you both. I have tried the reassuring and it works as long as I'm in the room with DD but as soon as I leave, the wailing kicks off until I have taken DS out of ear shot.

A bouncy chair doesn't soothe him AT ALL when he's in this state but makes him crosser!

There may be a light ahead - DH put DD to bed while I 'put DS to bed' in the sitting room and he went to sleep much more quickly tonight and without all the wake ups and cluster feeding. Perhaps just a couple more weeks.....