arghhh mealtimes!

[Elffriend]

I know, I know, I know.......

I've just really shouted at DS (2 years, one month) for refusing his lunch AGAIN. I'm really mad at myself and I KNOW I'm supposed to stay calm etc. but this has been going on for ages. It worries me and frustrates me and its the only thing that is guaranteed to make me want to lose my temper - all else I can cope with - even the tantrums.

Wail!! How long do these phases last? PLEASE tell me that mealtimes won't always be something to dread.

what do you offer? Could you offer something different? Could you change the scene? e.g. have a picnic in the living room (on a mat or bathtowel if you worry about the mess) instead of at the table. Does he sit in a highchair? If he does then try using a booster seat at the table or his own little table and chair instead.

As seona says, but also you don't do treats / sweets / snacks at all do you?

My DD2 (exactly same age) is the same at lunch time. She barely eats anything and is just too tired. She will usually eat her tea though. If I remember, I give her a snack at about 10ish. That seems to give her some more energy to keep going to lunch time and she's not as tired. DD1 was also a difficult eater at times. My tip - remember to take a step back and look at them ... if they have lots of energy and a sparkle in their eyes, they are probably doing just fine.

PS - DD1 (5) is completely different now, so no, it doesn't last forever!

He's generally in a high chair - . I have tried moving it about, sitting at table etc. Wil try somewhere ealse for tea. Like the idea of picnic but he does tend to vanish!

He has a fairly good selection of food - although one of the problesms anyway is that he is pretty fussy - other than philly sandwiches and toast, he takes a pretty dim view of finger foods (will eat the odd cherry tomato recently - whoo-hoo!!) - which is a real pain and source of worry/frustration.

Today was minced beef with mash and stuff - used to be a dish he loved. Did eat a few mouthfuls but that's about it. Then had his banana. I don't let him have much in the way of snacks at the moment - at least not in the mornings because of his current poor eating.

Snacks, when he does have them, tend to be bits of fruit, the occasional toddler biscuit or, if he's really lucky, a couple of chocolate buttons.

Thanks Wishingchair (god I loved that book!). I do try to keep perspective and he is pretty healthy and happy - I just can't help feeling a failure sometimes - must be something rooted in instinct! And I do dread mealtimes - they used to be nice and hereally enjoyed his meals .

Glad it doesn't have to last forever.

I think toddlers often eat less than they did as babies. Certainly happened with my ds.

I would suggest not worrying about what he eats in a day but look at it over a week. He probably has some days when he eats more than others. Maybe keep a food diary for him for a week so that you can look back on what he has eaten, it may suprise you.

Also toddlers need a lot less than you might think. TBH a few mouthfuls of minced beef n mash may actually constitute a good size toddler meal; their tummies are still very very small.

My DS does the same thing - he's 2.2 - it's definitely a control thing. He wants to eat when he chooses, not when I tell him to.

If he refuses to eat, I allow him to leave the table and come back when he's ready. He soon returns when he realises that the rest of the family is eating and he's missing out.

Lunch is normally just sandwiches on the coffee table, so no problems there - he's in control!