Nursery

[chickenmama]

My dd is 2 yrs 3 months and I have been thinking about sending her to nursery for 2 morning sessions a week. She has never been to any kind of childcare before and I have only ever left her with family or close friends a handful of times. She's always been very clingy but has been getting a bit more confident lately. She'll say hello to people she doesn't know when she's by my side (in the library, shops etc) but gets very shy if adults approach her or try to take her any where (like in toddler group).

I don't need to put her in nursery but I was hoping 1) it would build her confidence and 2) I could have a couple of hours to get things done at home (I'm a single mum and she's with me 24/7)

We had a very unsuccessful try at going to nursery this morning - she sobbed constantly for half an hour before I decided to go and get her. She really doesn't want to go back but the nursery are willing to let her go each morning for half an hr or so until she's more settled and will stay for the full session.

I'm wondering what peoples advice would be. Stick at it even though she's only little and doesn't 'need' to go, or wait until she's older (maybe 2 and a half, or 3) and try again?

Hi Chickenmama,

I think i would continue to try and settle her in for half an hour each morning as the nursery have suggested even though like you i would also be thinking "she doesn't need to go so i'll keep her with me". Try and give it a little longer before you give up and wait until she's abit older.

It was bound to be tough going considering she is now over 2 and has never left you. Its probably abit scary for her but if you and her don't do it now, there will come a time when it will need to be done ie school only that time you won't be able to take her back out.

She is bound to settle in quite soon, once she makes friends and discovers all the exciting things she will be doing in nursery. Also, you'll be amazed at how well her development progresses too.

I hope it all works out for you both.

Am adding a note of caution, I started DS at 2.5 and it was very definitely the wrong time for him. He sobbed, clung and I ended up using the nursery more as a drop in play centre (ie I stayed with him!). The staff there were/ are lovely and said he's unusual, but agreed he wasn't settling and we worked a way to get him there in time. Tbh, If I'd had a crystal ball I'd have waited until he was three, as he very obviously more ready/ wanting to play then with other kids. Not saying you should wait, as every child's different. Go with your gut though - if you think she's not ready, well maybe she's not. Let's face it, she's still very little. If it makes you feel any better, my DS is now 4 and skips in to his nursery happily. So lovely to see, and am mighty glad we got there before he starts school.

I think it depends on the nursery too - ds was already in a nursery 1.5 days a week ( had been since 14 months while I work). I wanted to try the local pre-school (peer pressure - everyone else's kids were going, and also felt he needed more stimulation and other kids about) so started him at 2yrs 8 months and it was disastrous. It was v structured, like a mini proper school. I took him out v quickly, but now he's 3 and and he goes to the same place and absolutely loves it.

Thank you for the replies

I actually have her name down for a different, very good nursery for when she turns 3, and was so worried about all of this I called them today for some advice. They said the same as you (Smee and labebete), that I should trust my instinct and if I felt she wasn't ready then I should wait until shes 3. So I've decided I'm going to carry on as we were, making sure we go to loads of groups so she gets plenty of time to play and socialise, and wait until next September when she gets her place at the nursery school.

It's ever so reassuring to hear that your little ones are now happy to go to nursery and I'm sure in a years time she'll be much more ready. Like you said Smee, she is still very little and I want this time to be as happy as possible for her