if day 2 alone with a 2 week old and a 2 year old was an intolerable hell, am I doomed?

[bohemianbint]

Seriously, it's been awful. Am worried 2wk old is ill with reflux, or thrush, or something, as seems in terrible pain when feeding.

2 year old driving me up the wall. I shouted at him horribly and feel like a massive shitbag. Baby wouldn't stop crying or be put down, so dealing with DS1 very difficult. Getting out of house with 1 in push chair and 1 in sling, into the incessant pissing rain was farcical.

Ended up in floods of tears, HV supposed to be coming tomorrow, and am taking ds2 to docs. Feel a crappy hideous failure. Will it get better? Or have I just signed myself up for years of abject misery that I am clearly not equipped to deal with?

Sorry for terrible typing, ds2 asleep on other arm.

Tell me it'll get better? And ds1 won't hate me for being a foul tempered cow?

Well, the fact that it's taken me this long to come back (and I'm still typing on borrowed time!) pretty much tells you how the week went. It did get better, mainly because once I knew DS2 had thrush and not some hellish life threatening condition I felt a bit better. And I also managed to borrow a double buggy from a friend, which now means I don't have to struggle with a regular pushchair and a sling.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied - you almost had me in tears! So good to know that it isn't just me, and I was mainly feeling horribly guilty for shouting at DS1. I sort of assumed that when DH went back to work that was it; life should just start going again as "normal". I wasn't really taking into account the lack of sleep and general stress and logistics of having 2, not to mention the fact that 2 weeks isn't really that long to recover.

Anyway, I'm sure there'll be more hell in store, but also I'm hoping I might get better at it all.

Bohemianbint, are you me? Or am I you?? I could have written your exact - and i mean -exact - same post 3 months ago. It gets better honestly!

It gets much much better. Good age gap you've got there BTW, same as mine. Measure life in teaspoons though. Both of them fed - nappies changed, a book read whilst you hold the baby, don't even try going out if it feels too much, lose normal ambitions.. you'll get loads of help on here and support. Well done -you did a day on your own with the pair of them!!