potty training - all gone down the pan, or am I expecting too much?

[cockles]

Ds is 33 months and we've been potty training for over a month (second attempt). He pretty much only goes when I persuade him to sit on the toilet/potty (and he usually refuses when I ask). I try not to keep asking him, unless we're going out - but I'm just not sure he notices he needs to go himself. he only wees every few hours usually anyway. Is usually dry at nursery but I think they prompt him. And poo he refuses to do anywhere except in pants, nor will he tell me in time to give him a nappy. He should be ready by now, shouldn't he? I'm feeling like I'm the trained one, not him - I just get him to the toilet in time, he doesn't really do it himself unless he's right there. Someone give me some advice I feel completely clueless! Thank you so much.

Some kids just can't be bothered and need the reminder. Is giving a reminder really that bad? He's not even 3 yet; if he were going on 13 it might be a problem, but he's still a toddler.

I agree, I'd be happy to remind him except he gets really cross and says Noooo. Complete stonewalling.

I know the feeling about stonewalling - DS1 is currently attempting potty training. I ask him regularly if he needs a wee but after a few asks, he gets annoyed and either shouts NO at me or ignores me...inevitably ends in wet pants.

I have seen this watch on ebay which might be a good idea. Think it's a total gimmick but might work for DS rather than me reminding him. Not sure though.

Is the toilet/potty a fun place to be? That was a big factor in our success; dedicated toilet toys. He now knows 18 different animals by name (as in will give them to you if asked), 9 fruits, ambulances from fire trucks and will read pages of Hop on Pop to you, which isn't bad for a not-quite-19 month old.

God I am CLUELESS. I'm boggling at that watch! Is the idea of potty training to get them used to going at regular intervals, even if they don't need to? Or is it to get them to realise when they need to go? Or do you have to do one before the other?

Every child is different. However, most people can wee just a little bit every hour, even if they didn't Have To Wee Right Now. Initially it helps to take them often enough that, them being willing, they keep their bladder mostly empty. The lack of accidents helps them get comfortable with dry undies/nappy and break the cycle of "nappy is the place to wee."

Have to agree with Ches and this is also what DD's nursery supports. Maybe its abit like weaning - you didn't expect DS to hold the spoon or tell you when he was hungry straightaway but he learned gradually over time and now he does it. I'm sure there are others that a gradual approach doesn't work for too, but I'm finding that taking DD at regular intervals is getting her used to not weeing where she is standing and she is starting to ask. He will get it, don't worry

Hi,

I am in the same situation. My DD is 2.4 but we have been trying to train her for 6 months and she still has no idea when she is going to do a wee or poo. we put her in knickers and give her a star on her reward chart but its still completely hit and miss, sometimes if we bring her to the potty every 1/2 hour she is fine and will stay dry for hours, other times she refuses to do a wee in the potty and 5 mintues later has an accident. its very frustrating for me and I think we've tried everything but any hints would be great. Does she need to know that she is doing a wee before she does it in order to be properly trained?

Hi Niamh29. It's complicated isn't it? She's still quite little - my son at that age was still weeing every hour or less and had no idea when he would. I postponed it for a couple of months and he is definitely readier now - he wees less often and can tell us just before it happens.
ALthough today he asked for a nappy and is wearing one...

TBH I wouldn't even start before about 2 and a half. They tend to do it at the age they would have been able to anyway - so less hassle to start at about 2.6, and get it over with quickly.

The easiest way is to invite children who are toilet trained to play, frequently. Given how much children like to copy, it helps to have a role model.

I do remember reading postman pat stories to DS1 to get him to stay on the potty long enough to poo. Little boys just hate to sit still.

It is really important to try to keep calm about it, in order not to transmit anxiety to child. Difficult, I know.

My daughter is 22 months, she sat on the potty from 6 months and did wees and poos and then when she was one she decided she did not want to sit on the potty anymore, we left it and tryed again a few weeks ago and she did it a few times but did not get into it so we shall leave it another few months and try again....just remember every child is different. With my 1st daughter we used to sings songs together about the potty/toilet and it seemed to work (prefered toilet rather than potty!) but as I say every child is different! keep trying but be patient.

My son just turned 3, and has been trained for a couple of months. He also got VERY cross with me asking him, I had not option in the end but to leave him to it and trust him to say/take himself to the potty or loo when ready. It took about 3 weeks for him to 'get it', although he saved poos for his nap time and for a nappy until about a month ago.

Our most recent challenge has been to INSIST that he goes before we get in the car. We do a regular 1.5 hour journey twice a week, and because he won't go before we set off we always have to stop. So I've been bribing him with chocolate buttons for going before we leave. it has worked SO WELL that I wish I'd tried it during the early days of potty training rather than nagging/asking all the time!

Just a thought.