Fear of doing either wee or poo

[threebbs]

Hi. I am trying to potty train my 20 month old girl to use a potty. Started "properly" this week having done a potty intro, but now she is wearing pants she simply refuses to do a wee or a poo at all. She holds herself in for about 4 hours at a time, often looking uncomfortable and as if she really needs to go. No amount of encouragement or showing how mummy uses the toilet etc seems to work. She appears really scared of doing anything. The only time she will relieve herself is when I put her nappy back on during her nap/bedtime. She twice got really desperate and weed in the potty (mostly) but this made her upset. I don't know whether to just give up now as I don't want to distress her, or whether it is better to press on. Any ideas/advice or similar experiences?

Hi i have no advice but can relate to that my dd2 is 20months and i have started to leave her nappy off when we are at home and she refuses to wee and poo in the potty or even the floor. Just today i was doing a wee and she was in the loo with me i could see her struggling so quickly pu her on the loo she did one poo and stopped it. She did not finish her poo for another hour after i put a nappy on. dd1 was done by now, i am fed up buying nappys good luck anyway xxx

We didn't use the potty, we used the toilet with a toddler seat (but you can sit her backwards on the toilet if you don't have one) and started at 14 months and it was quite a frightening experience for my DS for the first week. He actually went "uh-oh" the first time he saw himself wee, and then said "uh-oh" every time he made a wee that entire week, nappy or toilet. Then he got used to it and was fine. His first poo was scary too, but he quickly began to much prefer pooing on the toilet. (But only his home toilet - since nursery never managed to notice/respond to his cues he got fed up of soiling his pants and waits all day until he gets home!)