only poo's in nappies

[charlietalk1]

this is my ist post on here.

my daughter is 3years 8month. She has been dry for just over a year, but still wets at night time so still in nappy.

Took a while to get her dry as afraid of potty but we got there.

Now over a year later she is still refusing to poo on anything other than her nappy. She will wait till bed time to do it.

I tried taking nappys away but after 3 days she was in so much pain i gave her one as didn't want to do more harm.

Spoke to Health vistor who said try sticker charts, rewards, positive encourament and if no improvement by the time she is 4 to call them again then they will probably say take nappies away and she will have no choice.

It is really getting me down so i feel a failure. My partner says no to worry she will do it eventually but i am having so much pressure from family members which i am trying to ignore but its hard.

I don't know anyone who has had this problem, especailly for so long, can anyone help PLEASE

Hi, can't give you much useful advice but I am in a very similar situation so just wanted to reassure you you're not alone.

My son is 3 years 7 months, and has only just (in the last week) started peeing in the potty and toilet - before that he was like your daughter in that he would hold in both pees and poos until he had a nappy on. Now he's just doing it for poos, which I'm actually not that down about (yet!) because I'm so relieved he's at least peeing!

What worked for us for peeing was taking it very slowly, with chocolate button rewards for any progress - a few days of getting to wear a nappy when he neeeded to but having to wear it whilst sitting on the potty, then a few days of wearing the nappy whilst sitting on the potty but having it undone slightly at the sides, then gradually removing it more and more, so that after a few weeks the nappy was inside the potty but not touching him at all, and after that he didn't mind it being taken away completely. This won't work for us for poos but only because he insists he has to poo standing up, and I don't know how to get round that - otherwise it might be worth a try.

Hope this helps.

Thank you for your reply.

My daughter is the same she will only poo standing up. For the last couple of nights I have been trying the lets sit on the potty with your nappy on trick but she sits there for a second or two then says it will hurt then gets up.

Will carry on trying that though and the rewards/sticker chart we are using.

It helps to now i am not the only one going through this. Just wish family members would stay out of it

charlietalk1
this is my son - so you are not alone
how is it going?

My DS was like this too and would only poo in a nappy. It was a case of "I need a big nappy on" - I complied - he pooed and all was well for another day.

I tried lots of things to encourage him to poo in the loo but nothing worked.

In the end what did help was that the nursery took him to the loo with his best friend and showed him that "H poos on the loo".
This went on for several weeks until the July before he started school when all of a sudden he came home one day and annouced "I am going to poo on the loo like H does".

We never looked back from that time. We also made sure that the first time he did poo in the loo he got to phone grandparents and aunties to tell them.

He was 4.5 when he did this.

I know how you feel, my DD took a year after potty training to not need a nappy. We used the approach Purplerabbit describes and it worked eventually. Bribery didn't.

Re family members, my mum used to ask about it every time she phoned, eventually I got a bit cross and asked her please not to ask about it anymore.

hi Charlietalk1, I dont know how to link to an old message but if you use the search function and put in the word 'nappy' and my name in the relevant section and choose topic Behaviour and Development you will find a thread that I posted on ages and ages ago. The advice I got was really helpful though and you might get some ideas that will work for your daughter. Read the whole thread though, it's only 2 pages long.
Good luck.