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You can always tell some women are childless by the fact that they....

628 replies

NinaInCognito · 22/08/2008 21:11

...get in the way of you when you are in the supermarket dragging around a pram, trolley and fiddly child and then they sneer down at you with their basket full of organic lettuce, baguettes and mini-tampons while your trolley is loaded with nappies, a giant pot of Sudocrem and enough chocolate bars to re-sink the Titanic.

You then have to manoever around them while they continue said sneering.

God you can tell what sort of evening I have had, can't you? And I am embarrassed to admit that I used to be one of those women. I apologise to all you mums out there unreservedly.

Now for chocolate bars and MN......

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 14:34

our fucking cat keeps staying out all night and then miaowing at the door around 6am until she wakes me and i let her in.

i got her back by holding her down and putting her Frontline on today.

ChairmanMiao · 23/08/2008 14:35

zippi I would've thought your grandson had just leant forward to give you a kiss and poked your contact lens out instead.

zippitippitoes · 23/08/2008 14:36

giving people looks always makes me think of the times i have been with someone in a pub and before you know it someone says what are you looking at and then the tables start flying

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Elibean · 23/08/2008 14:38

I can see the OP meant it lightheartedly, and in my 20s, when I was trying (unsuccessfully) to be cool and impatient, I certainly looked on mothers shopping as a different species - not sneeringly, but not with any empathy either.

That said, the title did actually jar, for me, and I agree with Aitch - the word 'childless' is loaded, for those of us who have hurts in that area. And we may be a minority, but there are lots of us on MN and in RL.

I wouldn't have been aware of that fifteen years ago, though, just as some aren't aware of what it means to have kids till they do. I'm sure the OP wasn't aware when she posted.

Anyway: nowadays, older and wiser after a lot of loss and struggle with infertility, and (hurrah) five years experience of motherhood, I sometimes notice annoyed strangers when out with the dds, but who cares. They have nothing to do with me, my girls, or my life - if they're huffy or disapproving, fine. Who knows if they are happy or sad not to have kids. IME sneering and sorrow are not incompatible, anyway, quite the opposite.

I know this thread has moved on (I'm forever posting on ex-threads, just go to bed too early ) but FWIW, I didnt' think Aitch's first post was attacking or hostile...just not buddying up.

ChairmanMiao · 23/08/2008 14:38

zippi stop looking at people in pubs
concentrate on your beer.

expat - catflap

Heated · 23/08/2008 14:40

The only time I have been openly told off and sneered at whilst shopping with child I was quite taken aback.

I can only presume it was my youthful good looks that made this sour prune think she could speak to me like a naughty child.

I have of course stored all the smart come-backs for future use but motherhood has obviously given me that harridan don't mess with me glow(er).

Elibean · 23/08/2008 14:40

Terry Pratchett rocks. Though I did last read one of his about 20 years ago

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 14:42

CM, it's a rental house. Can't put in a cat flap.

Of course, that will all change when we win the Lotto double rollover tonight.

The nextdoor neighbours have to lock their flap at night, however, because, being in this rural area, critters other than your cat use it at night.

ChairmanMiao · 23/08/2008 14:48

Alas.
Can your cat dig tunnels?
I have burrowed from cod's garage to China where I am now leader.
I will happily share my secrets with your cat and you too can have a bill for subsidence.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 14:49

Yes, tell me how! She can attack and kill all the mice in the walls and then we'll send the subsidence bill to the landlord.

ChairmanMiao · 23/08/2008 14:54

She has to use her brother as a pneumatic drill and then a spade.

KerryMum · 23/08/2008 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 14:58

her head is shaped a bit like a spade. maybe i can get her to use that.

i sometimes call her 'shovelhead', in fact.

ChairmanMiao · 23/08/2008 15:02

I would lend her my brother but he is unaccountably concussed.
She sounds like a dear.

KM yes I think it did.
But I'm not sure why.

Aitch · 23/08/2008 15:18

oh GIVE ME A BREAK, communion.

i've explained til i'm blue in the face that i wasn't personally offended, I JUST DIDN'T AGREE with the OP's 'you can tell women are childless by their sneering' thesis, nor did i find it funny. i didn't find it offensive, i wasn't personally appalled, it's just not humourously written.

because yes, ffs, if you're starting a 'light-hearted' thread, you do have a burden to make the OP funny. especially, lord knows, if you are actually walking a tightrope of sneering at women who you claim to be sneering at you.

if you read the thread, plenty of people thought that the OP was off, by the way... it was she who made it all about me. look at that second post... all 'blah blah blah poor me, someone's disagreeing with me, this isn't how i wanted my return to MN to go'... quite pathetic, actually.

good, though, of you to pick out one thing i said in an otherwise very long post, communion, that's making it all about me in a way that there's no need to. not that you want to do that, huh..?

it just so happens that i didn't sneer at women with children, nor have i encountered this in my life with dd. and fuck the London thing... it's just a city in the UK, it's not that special. i know that's heretical to Londoners, but really, it's just a big place made up of smaller places.

here's what i think, though... i think if you're in a supermarket and you think that people are sneering at you, you increase the chances that they will do. if you smile, put yourself out there in a positive way, and give out good energy, you'll get it back. yes... even in London, where i used to live, and where i was always greeted warmly because i greeted people warmly. never understood the 'london's so unfriendly thing' then, don't understand it now. Rome, Sydney, Glasgow, London, New York, Edinburgh, lived in 'em all, had fun in them all.

Stephano · 23/08/2008 15:34

oh my god it must be really uncomfy for you Aitch with that bug up your arse! if you don't think the op was funny or light hearted then shut the f* up. have you never heard the phrase "if you've got nothing nice to say then say NOTHING " ? I came on to mumsnet to get help, advice and maybe stumble accross a bit of light hearted chat. this just turns out to be an excuse for some people who have nothing better to do to upset posters who don't have the same sense of humour as you. do you actually have a sense of humour Aitch? Hmm, probably won't be visiting mumsnet for a while if this is the way things are going.

Aitch · 23/08/2008 15:38

see ya.

Aitch · 23/08/2008 15:40

and lololol at you singularly failing to take your own advice...

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 15:41

'if you don't think the op was funny or light hearted then shut the f* up. have you never heard the phrase "if you've got nothing nice to say then say NOTHING " ? I came on to mumsnet to get help, advice and maybe stumble accross a bit of light hearted chat. this just turns out to be an excuse for some people who have nothing better to do to upset posters who don't have the same sense of humour as you. do you actually have a sense of humour Aitch? Hmm, probably won't be visiting mumsnet for a while if this is the way things are going. '

this is the way it's always been.

this is not your usual fluffy hugz hunz site.

if people post on here, they need to be prepared to take on board opinions, perspectives and posts contrary to their own or to their opinions.

that's what is what makes this board different from many others and, for some of us, which makes it special.

ask for help or advice, and that means different things to different people, not all of which you may want to hear, but equally as valid.

but get all in the huff because and when someone posts contrary to what you wanted to hear or how you intended things to go and this probably isn't the board for you.

this board is an absolute wealth of support and good advice to a whole hell of a lot of us.

and believe it or not, some peoples' lives have been turned round for hte better for the very same advice that would have been construed as 'unsupportive' on other boards.

WideWebWitch · 23/08/2008 15:42

lol at MsDemeanour being insulted on behalf of London

Good post Communion, I agree with you.

I'm really quite surprised at the turn this thread too.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 15:42

yes, i've noticed this, too.

all the ones who are must 'offended' by what they see as mean, unsupportive, not nice, etc. are the ones throwing out hte personal insults and comments.

Get.a.fecking.grip.

WideWebWitch · 23/08/2008 15:43

Oh ykwim, 'the turn this thread has taken' I meant

MrsSprat · 23/08/2008 15:44

my oh my, what a silent place MN would be if Stephano-rules applied.

I think this has maybe been a lesson in different perspectives and a cautionary tale about using perjorative language in thread titles, and if we're honest not taking things personally, on here and in life. But that's just like my opinion.

WideWebWitch · 23/08/2008 15:45

someone once described mn as 'love and knuckles' (Custy iirc) - good description.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 15:46

i'm actually more upset by that very sad-looking dog in the RSPCA ad in the sidebar.

and i don't really like dogs.

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