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Parenting

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Original poster

Yikes how to cope???

7 replies

roseybump · 15/02/2005 16:16

yikes! but happy ones! I've recently found out I'm pregnant again! DS is 13 months. We planned for more, but hadn't quite reckoned on it happening so soon. Still - very happy! What I can't get around is how I am going to cope! We are looking for a house in another town closer to DH's work! Any advice on what it is going to be like much appreciated - will my ds be jealous? how will I wheel them around? Will I need one of those duo prams? Or will ds be able to toddle most places? How on earth can you give your toddler the attention he needs with a new born around?
Shoudl I be careful about lifting ds now? he's getting quite heavy?

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Twiglett · 15/02/2005 16:20

Congratulations

no don't be careful lifting toddler .. new baby will be perfectly safe .. and its not like you can refuse to carry him around is it?

I assume DS will be almost 2 by the time new baby is born .. you have plenty of time to sort out what you want to do .. you could have baby in a sling and keep DS in his pushchair for the first few months then use a buggy board or you could go double buggy (unweildly IMHO) .. at just over 2 he'll still need to be able to lie down though if you go out for a while

as for dealing with toddler with a newborn .. it just kind of works itself out

lilibet · 15/02/2005 16:20

No idea what it will be like as I have big gpas between mine, but you will get loads of people who have been in similar situations but CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Original poster

roseybump · 15/02/2005 16:25

Thanks for the congrats! It's still sinking in! I think you both were in a chat with me when I was losing the plot over yelling to ds - now I know why! Calm has restored a bit - at least I know why I felt unhinged!!
Those double buggie things look exhausting. Buggie-board sounds fine - but can only usually get ds to sleep when out for walks in pram. I guess you're right and it will all work out somehow. Think will have to get mum and mum-in-law on board (means them staying with us though!)

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Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 16:29

Congratulations!! There was an 18 month gap between my first two and it was fine. You do wonder how you will cope but, just as when you had your first, you somehow fit them in. I felt I wouldn't be able to love the second as much as I loved the first and actually cried the night I went into labour with No2 and gave my sleeping baby a little cuddle because I thought our special bond was going to be interfered with, but it wasn't like that at all. Your love for your first continues as before and your capacity to love expands to take in the new baby.

Don't worry about lifting: even nine months pg I was carrying toddlers around! I did have a duo pram because, even though ds1 was walking early, you still have occasions when you want him safe, or you are in a hurry and so you need to have a pram to accommodate both. Ds1 was not at all jealous of ds2 - at 18 months, he seemed too young to experience that sort of emotion. He and ds2 are great together, very close. Ds1 used to entertain ds2 all the time. He did things that would make your hair curl, but second children tend to be a bit tougher than first children: they have to be! Of course there will be difficult times, but you learn how to deal with them and the advantages far out weigh the disadvantages IMO.

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roseybump · 15/02/2005 16:33

oh man I'm bubbling over- you hit the nerve with mention of fear of not being able to love the new one as much! My first thoughts when finding out I was pregnant were for ds and fear at our special bond being broken. Thankyou for the reassurance. I hope you're not as lonely as your nickname!
Ds has just woken up so he is going to get the biggest cuddle and some marmite toast!

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Lonelymum · 15/02/2005 16:36

It is a terrible thing to say, and perhaps I shouldn't, but I actually loved ds2 more than any of my other children. There, I have said it. I feel quite guilty saying it, but you know he and I are so similar and he was like an angel dropped from heaven in terms of his behaviour until he turned 3 ish. I know that sounds nauseating, but really, he was that special to me. Now, it has evened out and I honestly don't think I do love any child over the other, but, just so you know it is possible to love a second child as much as your first and maybe even more.

Mirage · 15/02/2005 19:36

Congratulations Roseybump.DD was 12 months old when I found out I was pregnant again.I don't have any advise as the new baby isn't due until begining of June,but I am having all the same'how will I manage?'moments.

I just figure that my mum managed it with a 15 month age gap-so I will manage somehow.May not leave the house for the first 6 months-but we'll get there.

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