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Original poster

how old were yours?

41 replies

sighkotika · 05/08/2008 20:36

my ds is 20 months, and my mum has started pressuring me to begin potty training. am i right in thinking he is just a little too young? i would be happy to know i am wrong, i just need some balanced and convincing arguments if i am right and he isnt ready yet. she wont listen to me if i just say no, because, of course, she knows better than i having had three children compared to my one. (not at all bitter, just a little frustrated )

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midnightexpress · 05/08/2008 20:40

I think if you're in any doubt that he's ready, leave it. What's the rush? DS1 is 2.8 and we started a couple of weeks ago and he's taken to it like a duck to water. He has only had one weeing accident in the last 10 days. I've spoken to loads of people who tried at around 2, failed miserably, left it till nearer 3 and it all happened really easily.

Having said that, I also know (girls mainly) who have trained earlier and successfully. one who announced at 18 months (early talker too!) that she didn't want to wear nappies any more and didn't. But I think that is the exception rather than the norm, esp for boys.

mankyscotslass · 05/08/2008 20:42

DS1 was finally dry and clean in the day a week before his 3rd birthday, after two previous failed attempts. He was dry at night at 4 1/2.
DD decided to take her nappy off at 27 mths and never put it back on, no accidents day or night. DS2 33mths, physically ready, but refusing to do it! I think he will be a few more months yet.
Mum pestered me about it too, it's a generational thing!

Nappyzoneneedsanewname · 05/08/2008 20:43

My ds is 20 months also, he is only just starting to talk and i think too young to attempt - it would be very difficult abd far more stressful than waiting till they are over 2 at least. When i ask if he has done a poo e does rather cutely walk backwards and stick out his bum so i can look down the back of his nappy! I dread the task tbh so am happy to leave till next summer!

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ilovemydog · 05/08/2008 20:44

I feel quite bad that I have delayed DD's progress! She seemed quite keen at about 20 months, and managed a few successes, but then had DS, so didn't have the brain space/energy to keep at it.

She now waves to the potty - like an old friend, but doesn't seem bothered about it all.

will try again in a few months....

giddykipper · 05/08/2008 20:45

Think you're right about the generational thing. Apparently I was dry day and night at 18 months, DS is now 15 months and it just doesn't bear thinking about. I think they were just desperate to stop having to wash and dry terries.

Original poster

sighkotika · 05/08/2008 20:50

that sounds about right giddykipper, my mum does keep saying things about buckets and handwashing lol.

ds does say wee wee or poo poo when he has done either, but i just feel maybe it would be a less painful (and messy) process for all concernes if we just waited a few more months. dont know how i am going to convince my mum of that though.

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mankyscotslass · 05/08/2008 21:32

Do what I did .
Mum came to stay when ds was about 25mths old. She insisted she thought he was ready so I said fine, deal with it. Two days and eighteen pairs of trousers later, she said that maybe he wasn't ready!

ches · 07/08/2008 04:49

My DS is 17.5 mth old and had only one accident on Sunday. He can hold a wee or a poo for upwards of half an hour, and while not completely trained, is getting very close. We started at around 14 months very casually. He couldn't ask with a word until closer to 16 months, but he could gesture, in the same way he could communicate that he wanted to feed the dog in the morning. He showed about half the signs of readiness when we started, but really all we needed was following short instructions and processing sequences. We established routines, kept him in pull-ups, ignored "accidents" (hate that word) and even though he doesn't usually give a fiddlers if he's walking around in a wet nappy, he is doing brilliantly.

There absolutely is an alternative to the pervading mindset, but you have to have realistic expectations. I wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me he'd be so close so soon and it hasn't been any "bother" at all; on the contrary, almost no poos to clean up in months, and a few pairs of wet undies a day but not very many wet shorts because I cram a soaker in the fold of his undies that catches it all.

Shannaratiger · 07/08/2008 06:50

DD was 3yrs3mnths, only time we had accidents was when she was really concentrating on something and didn't make it on time.
DS is 22mnths and I'm not even thinking about it as he screams everytime I even move the potty in his general direction. He does tell me as soon as he's done a poo though and knows the routine for going to the toilet.

hairtwiddler · 07/08/2008 09:32

DD was 2.6 and trained in a week. Rare for her to have an accident a month later.

ajm200 · 07/08/2008 09:35

My LO started at 18 months. His choice. A friend and I were discussing potty training for her LO who is almost a year older.

My LO was listening in and pointed to the potty when we got home and said 'I do'. I let him, he wee'd and we went from there.

BigBadMousey · 07/08/2008 15:02

Oh you're being a lot more tolerant with your mum than I would be in your position!

DD was 3 when she potty trained. I just waited until the easter break (no nursery) put her in pants and that was it - job done. Very easy, before that her mind was on too many other things and it would have been a constant struggle to get it done.

My father and step mum were always asking me when DD would be potty trained, when would she be in a proper bed and and a cot etc etc - took no notice, I don't understand the rush. You have to do what you feel is right IMO.

Mechm · 07/08/2008 19:36

I think there all different my DS is 23 months and is doing really well, he will pee in the potty no bother and shouts and claps his hands to let us know he has done it but pooing is a different story as we're not always in when he does it but when we have been in he has done a poo in the potty but we are taking it slowly and at his pace. We just left the potty lying about in the house for a while telling him that's where you pee pee and when we started doing it he has been great.

Mechm · 07/08/2008 19:39

forgot to say my DS stands over the potty to pee in he doesn't sit down, think he's been watching his dad in the toilet alot.

IdrisTheDragon · 07/08/2008 19:40

DS was about 2.3. In retrospect he was ready a bit sooner, but DD was very small at the time and I don't think I could have coped. He was dry at night definitely before 3.

DD potty trained at 19 months. Her choice completely. I think DS and DD were actually trained younger than I was . She has been dry at night for about 3 months (2.10 now).

Original poster

sighkotika · 07/08/2008 22:41

bigbadmousey i have to be tolerant, we all live together and i like a quiet life lol.

thank you everyone for all your replies, they have been very helpful

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Nemoandthefishes · 07/08/2008 22:43

completely depends on the child
DS was 2.2yrs and asked for no nappies was dry at night by 2.6yrs
DD1 was week after she turned 2 although she had been suggesting for about 4mths she knew what was happening I wasnt ready..she was dry day and night straight away.
DD2 is 18mths and already taking off her nappy and insisting on sitting on the potty/loo but again I am not ready to train her..lol

Nettee · 08/08/2008 06:32

DS is 3yrs 5 months and we are having a fairly stress free and successful attempt (maybe I should stop calling it that!) at potty training. Tried a fair number of times before and it has been miserable for all concerned. I think you know when they are ready - and as loads of posts on here have said - they know too and are self motivated which makes all the difference.

mankyscotslass has the right idea for convincing your mum about how ready or not your ds is.

kiddiz · 08/08/2008 07:42

I was pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 2. Felt alot of pressure to potty train him from mil and my mum because I "should get it done before I had 2 on my hands". Ds1 was not ready and he and I got so uptight about it that I had to give up and he was actually nearly 4 before he was what I would call reliably dry. Ds2 hated wearing nappies and was dry day and night by 2.5. Dd was dry day and night before she was 2. All lo are different, and despite what many people who brag about their dcs being potty trained at a young age, has absolutely nothing to do with intellect. If you try to potty train before your dc actually knows when they need to go you are doomed to failure. Having made that mistake with ds1 I was determined to just let ds2 and dd lead the way and the whole thing was much less stressful. I can count the accidents they had on one hand and neither of them has ever wet the bed. As it happens they were both ready sooner rather than later but I would have happily waited if they weren't rather than go through the stress I had with ds1 which actually made the whole process longer.

ajm200 · 08/08/2008 07:50

My LO is good a weeing in his potty but it is becoming a game and he's now driving me slightly mad.

He wees, shouts, claps, I empty the potty and put it back, he sit back down on it and wees again and we start the process again

Yesterday he went 18x in an hour, I counted.

LargeGlassofRed · 08/08/2008 07:57

ds 2.2 day about 3 at night
dd1 20 months day and night
dd2 22 months day and night

The girls were both very easy, I was very lucky dd1 never had accident not even at night.

Dd2 has just wet the bed for the first time she's 4.5! she dreamed she was on the loo

Really didn't do anything special apart from I didn't use pull ups

Just left the nappy off when they asked, ds took longer as he hated pooing in the potty,

dd2 had a few days of accidents but that was it.

loler · 08/08/2008 09:06

DD was just 2 but had been asking for a while. Had a couple of wet pants on first day but dry night and day after that.

DS1 just getting to the end of first week at 3.4. had 2 wet pants all week, both at nursery so I'm blaming them not him! We've been shopping, to a party and done loads of activities without having to consantantly ask if he needs the loo (pottys are for babies according to ds, so no washing out manky potty for me ). Has been a breeze. Did think the day would never come and have been put under huge pressure by my DM. I did quite a few false starts but this is a good way of gauging if they are ready and demonstrating to your DM that your DS is not!

From experience with friends (and on here) it's quite common for boys to be less interested/ready than girls. My DM had 4 girls so not sure if this coloured her view on potty training.

PS - Nettee, glad to hear that it's going well this time.

mummydoc · 08/08/2008 09:10

dd1 was 20 months , dd2 19 months - both had best friends who were boys who didn't even start until 2 and 1/2 or 3, definitelt think boys later than girls - go with what you feel is best .

bozza · 08/08/2008 09:31

DS 2.2
DD 2

Both reliably trained.

Nettee · 08/08/2008 15:07

Thanks Loler - sounds like you are pretty much there too. xx

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