oh poo, dd1 was asking why she was getting hairy, i told her a little bit about why, and now she wants to stay a kid forever.

[misdee]

she is 8.

is growing hairs on her legs, very dark ones, and some fluff under her arms. she has little boobs as well.

i didnt even get onto the full facts. i just told her that when she is growin g up she will grow hair in places and also develope breast. And when she is a teenager she will grow taller as well.

how on earth do i handle this?

Um, I dunno, helpfully, but isn't it fairly normal for children to go 'yuck' when you tell them about puberty?

I mean, it is fairly unappealing, isn't it: 'Oh, you'll get hairy legs and armpits and bleed once a month.' If only we lived in a country that wasn't so obsessed with removing every single body hair from adult women and returning them to their prepubescent state. Quite dodgy, when you think about it...

i didnt even get onto periods.

i cant even remember when i was told.

I just bought a really good book for DD1, for these questions. It is an usbourne book called 'What is happening to me?' There is a pink version for girls and a blue one for boys. It is aimed at 8 to 11 year olds and is nice and gentle. It is not too informative and deals with body changes and why they happen rather that being all about sex and relationships. So totally appropriate for those type of questions. I have not given it to her yet as she is not quite there but have it ready. There are a few issues in there i do not think she needs to know just yet so would advise a good read through by you first. I was planning on looking at it together at first. Hope this helps.

my ds (10.5) is turning into Peter Pan He cries at the thought of getting older...

Big up the becoming a young woman bit while stressing how much fun she can have, more choice and resposnsibility, how special it is etc. Agree, find some nice books to talk about stuff.

My son is 10 and he likes to inform me proudly if all he has learnt at sex education ,he makes me sometimes but I am determined not to do what my mother did and just throw 3 books on my bed without one word when I was 10!!!!
I try to answer all his questions or send him to his Dad

I think it sounds like you handled it really well Misdee and the usbourne book looks good I might try and get hold of it .

Get her a littl bit of make up to wear at home- let her choose it.

My sister had the same problem, her girl was then terrified of growing up so my sister wanted to show her the "good" things about being older. She also gave her wages to spend on what she chose.

I bought the Usbourne book from Little Lapin, it is very good. Some was a bit too old for DD who's 10 (masturbation etc) but I just taped the pages together

I think it is better she finds out more about masturbating at home than at school -

FMV, DS1 has cried a few times because he doesn't want to get any older. We have had a few nights where he's wailed and sobbed because his dressing up outfits don't fit him any more, and they don't make any bigger sizes. Bless him!

DS2, on the other hand, can't wait to be old enough to sign a lease on his own flat.

Misdee, we had this book for when they were about 7-8.

The pictures are funny, and the whole topic is dealt with in a matter of fact, but not too intimidating way.

nooki, she wouldn't believe it if someone told her! I told her about periods and she said, very patronisingly, "I think you're maybe wrong about that Mummy. Ask Grandma."

Humph - ds1 wants a campervan (til he remembers he has to be old enough to drive!...)
he just wants to ''play, play, play!''

And when I tell him adults manage to 'play' too, he looks at me and says ''No, adults are always to tired to play tig. They just want to sit and read newspapers and have peace and quiet''

He is a very perceptive young man.

I used to loathe the thought of growing up. I would close my ears in lessons about puberty because I believed if I didn't listen it would never happen to me. I used to slouch in photos so that I would appear smaller than I was and I wore crop tops for far longer than I should have. this is despite my mum being really open with me about it all. No advice really, just think it's quite normal.

I also have the Usborne book. DD1 is only 5 but I like to be prepared . I'm pretty sure I knew about periods at 8. I remember a girl in the year below me started her periods at 8 or 9. DD1 knows the basics about periods just because she's so inquisitive about what tampons are for and why sometimes I would like a bit of privacy in the loo. I just told her every month women produce an egg and your body gets ready with lots of extra blood in case it's going to turn into a baby, when it doesn't, it comes out along with all the excess blood. I think if you just answer their questions as they crop up and talk about things like periods at an appropriate time (maybe when an ad comes on the tv or something), rather than save it all up for "the big talk", it's a lot easier for you and also takes away some of the embarrassment meaning that they feel they can talk to you whenever they want, and not just at the allocated time.