OK, now be honest. What do you really think when a toddler is shrieking in a public place?

[Twinklemegan]

My 2 year old DS has taken to doing this - in Tescos, even in the library fgs. The library's a no brainer - obviously I remove him from said place ASAP. The supermarket's different though - we have to eat. I've started ordering online, but I still need to go from time to time.

The right thing to do, I believe, is ignore him. But oh the looks, and the shame. I used to be that woman who looked, nudged her husband and tutted. I used to be the one who thought parents of screaming toddlers were bad parents. So I lamely try to show displeasure: "that's enough", "I won't tell you again etc.". But I know it's futile - it's just for show.

Tell me what I should do! Ignore or react? What do you do?

oh random shrieking I know about. DD (6mo) does this all the time. Luckily most people seem to find it funny as she is a bit of a charmer (pfb!)

I wouldn't think anything of it. If it's a tantrum I tend to empathise with the child as I don't want to be in the supermarket either!

Ah right if completly random, wouldn't bother really, if it was more constant it would become very annoying and I would like to think they would be told not to or discouraged in some way. I think there has to be some explanation that it is not appropriate. My usual line when DS was shouting and bawling like a demented monster (when playing) I would quietly say people don't really want to listen to that noise dear. Stop it etc.

wow I never ever left anywhere if DD was in hissy meltdown - I just kept on going - so what if she was screaming her teeny tiny lungs out, the shopping had to done!
My Dd had remarkable few hissys though and I put that down to keeping her hydrated (or maybe I was just lucky) - I always gave plenty of water to drink - and if I left the sippy at home I had one strapped to the buggy which I could fill, and if we were in the car I always had a bottle of water there. I bought bottles of water if we were out and about without any of her sippys. I'd have some and she'd have some, and a bite or two of a banana and hey presto - all smiles.

If someone had a toddler who's volume is up to 11 I think Poor Woman! I absolutely do not judge her or her kid. All toddlers have crazy days - it's part of being a toddler, thought in my experience it's a hydration / bloodsugar / tiredness question. I don't think toddlers are all that bad

It depends on the reaction - the parents I judge negatively are the ones who start shouting at their kids. Mind you, I've seen parents shrieking at children when I can't see at all what the children have done wrong.

I think next time I'm going to ignore him completely and see if the reaction's as bad as I think it is. Also whether it makes him stop any quicker.

It's definitely a tiredness thing zazen, I agree. But DS has always been impossible to predict and control when it comes to naps. He'll keep going and going all morning, defying any attempt to put him down for a sleep. Then he'll drop off in the car five minutes away from the supermarket when I've only an hour before having to pick up DH from work. So then he's tired. I've yet to find a way around it, so am resigned to going with the flow unfortunately.

I saw a woman cry in tescos once because both of her DCs were giving her hell. Have still not forgiven myself for not going over to help. Sorry if that was you and you're reading this thread.
In general (along with being 'glad it's not mine this time') I do feel that supermarkets are designed to torture young children and their parents - too big, takes too long to get round, too much stuff at eye/trolley/toddler hand level.So sometimes we 'forget' to pay for the plum (or whatever) I've given DS to munch on to stop him from shrieking .

if mine is threatening to head to tantrumville, totally agree with the "stuff their mouths before they can scream" technique in tescos. Have done many a zoom round in the time its taken ds to munch his way through a bag of Goodies organix crisps,then handed over messy soggy crumb coated bag to till lady to scan.

Ds does this too. We were on a bus once when he was doing it. What could I do? After about 10 mins this man got off and as he did so gave me a look and then said something to the driver along the lines of i'm not listening to that any more. I think people think you are ignoring them cos you can't be bothered to do anything about it, when actually that is what you are doing about it. I admit I will do the whole Be quiet, Stop that routine for public show though.

Ds also hits (yes he is the public's nightmare child ) If he does it once I say be nice, be gentle. CAreful etc. If he does it again I move him away from his victim and ignore him. But sometimes I feel like I have to say stop that, it's naughty even though I know sounds completely wishy washy and pointless and then people will think I am a crap mother who lets her child control her. Can't win either way.

at the moment I'm sill in the pre-kids mindframe of someone shut that kid up, though now dd at 7 mnths is starting to shriek in public places the tables will turn very quickly. The embarrassment, sympathy etc is starting to dawn on me but the kneejerk reaction is still above- ask me again in 2 months time.

someone once said to me can you shut that kid up and i responded with feel free to try anything you can think of as long as it doesn't involve killing him, taping his mouth up or knocking him unconscious.

oh just shrieking, that's just playful surely.

With younger babies yes but I think with ds (2) he does it to be defiant. His is more screaming though.