do you tell people how talented/clever your children are...do you realise how dull it is?

[brimfull]

a neighbour of mine does this all the time.
she witters on for ages and ages about her amazingly talented children
I glaze over
does she not realise how ridiculous it sounds and how dull it is to everyone except her and her family.

sorry needed to rant

I tell them how talented and clever they are. Don't tell anyone else though. After all they are both very beautiful as well as talented and clever and I wouldn't want to create any envy

I just assume that people who feel a need to brag continuously about their children have low self-esteem.

I just assume that people who feel a need to brag continuously about their children have low self-esteem.

Yes exactly Quattrocentro

Agree Quattro.

Mine get a well done, a hug and a couple of sweets regardless - oh and a Burger King this year!

They have no idea what the school report says.

Agree agree with expat, it really is "Tell someone who cares"

Doesn't mean I'm not guilty of the occasional show off on here re dd but then you don't have to read it or reply

In RL though dd goes to a v. competitive school where some parents boast about their dc and then say "she loves it she loves it" when you can see their child is sick with nerves and is being forced

cod's 'here's your one-way ticket to Smug Land on the Wanker Express' line springs to mind .

You sound pretty harsh on yourself, Expat, but I know what you mean - I was a high flier in school and Uni, and I never amounted to a hill of beans either

I don't give a flying fuck how boring it is! I am proud as HELL of what my kids have achieved and I will enthuse about them at every opportunity.

If the person doesn't like it, they can vote with their feet!

I have a 9 year old who is very academically able, a 4 year old who has SN who can't even talk, and a nearly 2 year old who will probably win the gold medal at the 2012 Olympics for shrieking very loudly and making a mess, $and you know what?

I love to sing the praises of all three of them

(Not at great length to disinterested strangers though!)

Depends how it's done. If it's an occasional thing, and you also delight (genuinely, without waiting to barge in with another tale of your gifted DC), then fine. If it's a regular occurence, and you couldn't really care less about other children, then shut up please.

delight in other children's achievements

Mind you, I went to the park with a friend who is very pretty with long blonde hair, who bumped into someone she knew, who went ON and ON about how vair vair adVANCED her son was and how he was on a gifted and talented course etc etc.
As we walked away we heard him say "who was that" "Caroline, darling". "Is that a boy or a girl?"

glad to hear most people agree with me then

I only do this with dh. Always good because he agrees with me that they are wonderful

But then in general I also only really talk to dh about all the things that worry me with the kids, so it balances out.

I'd worry about the effect on my child if I sing their praises to all and sundry. If everyone is told they are so talented, the child has such a lot to live up to!

What happens if they don't do so well in their next exam, or want to give up the thing that has been widely bragged about?

All that added pressure is an unnecessary complication in a child's life IMO.

Totally with you ggirl. I do like hearing about several of my friend's children and how well they are doing, but I have shared the lows as well as the highs with them because they are close friends, so hearing about the successes actually means something . And they don't labour the point.

But as for the rest, I'm really not interested and assume as others have said on this thread, that they feel they have failed to achieve in their own lives and therefore are living through their children's.

when dd learnt to ride a bike i told everyone. i knew i was being a dullard but i couldn't help myself.

apologies

I like hearing about a child's achievements in the same way I would an adults - if it's something special.
Ya know - little Johnny got his first tooth, little Jemima passed her driving test. At that point you're gonna get the oohs and ahhhs from me but not that - little Jo Jo is sooo bright, wouldn't tell a lie, eats anything put in front of him generic shit.

litcheck I agree with you on the generic stuff - IMO there is a difference between telling everyone that hurrah your dc has just learned to ride a bike and telling people that your dc has always been the brightest in her class at school.

I know a few mums who brag so much about their child that said child has inflated ego and is quite up themselves...which is a shame as other kids see straight through them

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

people tell you what??