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Original poster

Do any posh people give dummies?

123 replies

ButterflyMcQueen · 01/08/2008 20:33

I am desperate to give ds a dummy -but am resisting for the same reason i breast feed for ages....

social stigma

dp says there is none attached to dummies but i disagree and feel i will be chastised by the chattering classes if I succumb, thoughts please

be gentle - i am very post natal with a two week old!

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mylovelymonster · 02/08/2008 13:54

No.

bran · 02/08/2008 13:57

As cadelaide has said it's not whether or not you give a dummy that indicates poshness, it's caring about whether others think you are posh. If you care, you're not posh I'm afraid.

Anyway, my local Waitrose stocks dummies (since the findings about cot death) so surely that makes them officially posh.

Bink · 02/08/2008 13:59

I think dummy-stigma (if any) only kicks in much later - so, let's say, from first-words onwards - so you're OK throughout the first year (so absolutely with a 2-weeker!). From age 2 up, there is a stigma, I think.

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Quattrocento · 02/08/2008 14:00

We're posh tbh, no doubt about it. Bit regrettable but we are who we are...

I gave my DD (now 10) an orthodontic dummy. Lots of politely raised eyebrows. She used it for less than a year and everything was fine. But I was embarrassed, so ...

... when DS was born I didn't give him a dummy. So he sucked his thumb. Boy oh boy do I regret not giving him a dummy. He is now 8 and still sucks his thumb. Despite variously coating it in disgusting stuff to make it taste horrible, putting plasters on it, constantly reminding him about it ...

Bink · 02/08/2008 14:00

Oh, the age 2+ stigma is for in public. No-one cares about dummies for falling asleep at toddler age (except the parents, in the end).

ruty · 02/08/2008 14:10

have to say i hate the look of them. Have never used one as always worried they will interfere with breastfeeding process [though have huge probs with that anyway at moment] but SIDS evidence not to be sniffed at. I think.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/08/2008 14:10

DD didn't have a dummy and she didn't really suck her thumb either.

I know children who have had dummies up to their fifth birthday and beyond, and DH hates them with a passion.

I'm not sure if that makes us posh or common

kormachameleon · 02/08/2008 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo · 02/08/2008 14:13

It's very normal in Belgium to see children aged four/five with a dummy. I don't particularly like them, but I can understand that it seems cruel to take a comforter away from a child.

ruty · 02/08/2008 14:14

i know how hard it is though to get children to give up certain things. we're struggling with giving up nappies for poos.

kormachameleon · 02/08/2008 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumperlicious · 02/08/2008 14:18

Not sure if I am posh or not but I hate dummies. However DD loves hers. I only let her have it to sleep now (13mo) but if she finds one of the many we have stashed around the house she puts it straight in. I ended up giving it to her under duress from family Wish I hadn't but I suppose it does the job.

TillyScoutsmum · 02/08/2008 14:19

DD had a dummy but it was confined to her bedroom and only allowed at sleep times. DP was very concerned about it and we argued about giving it to her but after 9 weeks of hell, I gave in. DP used to call it a "scummy" . She had until she was 8 months

ggglimpopo · 02/08/2008 14:22

I am one of the only people I know in France who does not use a dummy! Everyone from the upper echelons down to the paysans uses them....

I actually tried to get ds2 to take one (re FSIDS guidelines) and he point blank refused.

hatrick · 02/08/2008 14:25

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Mercy · 02/08/2008 14:25

I never know whether to laugh or cry at threads like these tbh.

There's another thread where someone's worrying whether a certain type of pram is now being bought by "chavs"

What do you mean by posh anyway?

MatNanPlus · 02/08/2008 14:26

It is rare to see a baby/toddler in Palermo, Sicily without a dummy, it is popped in the moment it falls out even if baby is nice;y sleeping , when meeting 2-3yo's the language/speech differences between them and my 17mo charge (who only has his at nap/bedtime) are hugely noticable.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/08/2008 14:29

I remember getting irrationally upset when the sids guidelines came out about dummies, feeling that I was putting DD at risk for following the breastfeeding guidelines about dummies

hifi · 02/08/2008 14:29

i dont think you would find a posh persons child with a dummy in over the age of 3.

Poppychick · 02/08/2008 15:02

I'd say anything for a quiet life but my DS refused one anyway.

threestars · 02/08/2008 18:08

I avoided dummies for DS, as I heard the rubber/silicon was bad for babies, and I thought it wasn't the 'done' thing.
But he was also a shockingly bad sleeper.

With DD, I really have tried not to give a damn what people think. DD has a dummy to help her fall asleep, although now at 4 months she is starting to reject it. Some friends have raised eyebrows, but I just mention SIDS prevention advice. Although really, I shouldn't have to say anything at all, but there you go. As soon as you give birth you have people critising you on the way you look after your child...

Oh, and I'm well posh, me. Innit.

threestars · 02/08/2008 18:10

Criticising, I meant.

Roboshua · 02/08/2008 18:16

Yes they do but they call them soothers instead!!!

Yes I was concerned re social stigma and refused them until DP gave him one as DS1 was becoming permanently attached to my nipple. Dr said he was only doing it for comfort (true) but he screamed the place down if he wasn't attached to me. DP put his foot down and gave him a soother and he was indeed instantly soothed.

DS2 was not in the slightest bit interested in a soother.

It's horses for courses!!

Mercy · 02/08/2008 18:25

When confronted with a crying, non-sleeping baby the last thing on my mind has been what other people might think tbh.

As for 'posh', we know someone who is a works on a national newspaper and both dc had dummies beyond 3 years old. In fact I can think of a numerous examples of 'posh' and dummies.

Butterfly, just do what feels right for you and your baby. My ds gave up his dummy at 6 weeks - not all babies become so attached.

Roboshua · 02/08/2008 18:49

Pooka. My Mum was also totally against dummies in a vociferously snobby way. However once she saw how well it settled DS1 she was a complete convert. So much so that when I decided to stop the soother she was the one resistant to it and I ended up having to do a full search of her house as she kept hiding spare ones 'just in case'!!!

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