Girls!!!!!!!!!

[itati]

DD tells me DS1 said she was stupid this morning.

I tell her she is the cleverest child in the house. (tis true)

DD says - No, in the world!

DH chuckles, DD goes off in a huff as she felt DH was laughing at her. She does this, what can I do to sort it as I try and say people aren't laughing at her but she gets cross/upset/in a strop.

She is almost 5.

Normal
They havent grasped sense of humour at that age

VERY normal. Oh so sensitive over the tiniest things
I have a 5 and 7 yr old and it drives me nuts - the flouncy huffs over silly comments, floods of tears and wails of "muuuuummm XX said I was stupid/had a big bum/my socks smell.." they banter and banter back and forth with silly fun insults/comments until one takes a random one so personally (never can predict what) and then there is real tears and upset.
Just be glad you have only 1 girl - imagine what 2 at a similar age can be like !

My eight year old daughter has always been and still is super sensitive - im really dreading the teenage years

Thank goodness it is normal.

She has always been so different to the boys and how I would have been, my MIL imagines, if I had had a normal upbringing.

Is there anything I can do to help as I know MIL sees her as a stroppy madam and awkward and others might think she is just being difficult?

I find myself having to "explain" or excuse my DD (particularly the super sensitive 7 yr old) when others witness an outburst.
After a particularly sour reaction from my mum a while back I waited until DDs were back out in the garden playing and told her how concerned that DD1 was going through a period of real lack of self confidence and was incredibly sensitive about any comment. I told her that DH and I were dealing with it by being very careful about how we told her off (extra effort to stress what she is doing is wrong not her etc etc) and were trying to lay off the criticism when she over-reacts. Our new tactic was to try calming her down first and explaining why we criticised/laughed at something etc etc rather than focussing on her behaviour being irrational and "grow up/stop moaning/stop the drama queen act" type statements. It did help to explain it to her as I think she needed to hear why we were handling her like we did rather than her just thinking we were being "soft" on her or letting her get away with big strops. When I told her that after a few big tellings off/incidents with her sister, she had woken up in the middle of the night in floods of tears, drenched in sweat worrying herself silly over it all. That made her appreciate how sensitive DD1 can be and why we are trying to avoid knocking her down too much - as frustrating and infurating her little over sensitive dramas can be!

So (and I apologise for longwinded post) my tactic would be to suggest you tell MIL exactly why you think DD is "stroppy" and help her to understand that it might look like a strop but actually she is really hurt/upset. That just because we as adults think an issue is unimportant, does not mean that the child should/can see it the same way.

Your last paragraph was a great idea.

DD said she asked MIL to hold the bike but she did and said nothing. MIL would deny she heard. She is always commenting on DD's moods.

I try and say DD we are not laughing at you or make some other comment but once she has gone off that is it.

MIL doesn't have a lot of time for DD and doesn't listen if I try and explain about DD. Because I'm not confident in talking to MIL I end up letting the sentence hang in the air unfinished or saying You know what DD is like. I will never say that again as it really sounds like I am putting her down.

itati - I totally understand about the talking to MIL bit! I would be exactly the same and was "fortunate" in a way that the person who had the issue with DD was my own mum. I wonder if it might be easier talking it through with your DP/DH and if it is an ongoing issue with MIL in particular, perhaps it might be best if he had a word with his own mum?

Your DD will be starting school this September I think? Is she excited about that? You might find school is such a fast learning curve that she changes and grows more confident and emotionally settled

DD is already at school and will go in to Year 1 in September.

Did talk a bit to MIL this morning and explained about DD. Said I felt she hadn't bonded with DD as much as the boys and she is a sensitve little girl.

good for you not an easy thing to discuss with any MIL
Hope it will help in the future

I haven't told the kids they can go tmw but I have a feeling DS1 won't want to go.