Potty refusenik - is there any point in pushing ahead?

[hester]

My dd is rising 3, and completely refuses to use the potty. At all. My attitude so far has been to shrug it off and leave it another couple of months before trying again. She is generally an easy toddler, not given to tantrums etc, but I suspect she has picked this as her Independence Issue, and my response has been to refuse to join her on the field of battle.

But she is due to start pre-school in six weeks, and they insist on them being potty-trained. So there is a time issue. Also, dd seems to be taking against nappies as well, and enjoys taking them off and peeing all over the floor (thank god we have hard flooring).

I've tried sticker charting, reading favourite books on the potty, taking her out to buy big girl pants, using the toilet instead... Now running out of ideas, and feeling increasing pressure.

Any advice would be REALLY gratefully received.

Have you tried a childs toilet seat on the toilet?

Yes!

Dd was refusing quite vehemently for a while. We eventually offered a small chocolate treat after every use (I'd previously sworn that I would never use this sort of bribery). It worked brilliantly and she forgot about the chocolates within a few days. It's not ideal but it was very efficient.

Ah, chocolate....

I'm not above that!

My other epic battle with her was over tooth-brushing, which we seem to have finally cracked through shameless offers of (small) presents every time she lets me brush. Now it's getting established, I've scaled down to a sticker chart (with weekly small present) and hope to phase it out completely soon.

Maybe a similar approach with the potty would work.

And if it doesn't, I could always eat the choc to cheer myself up.

Thanks, IB.

We left it until DS was ready.

If she's not playing ball, leave it for a week or two.

Focusing on 'clever' people who sat on the toilet to wee or poo helped with DS though. We didnt say he should, just praised everyone else for doing it for a couple of days before the next step.

Bribing him DH told him he'd buy him some Dr Who toys (sonic screwdrivers) if he used the toilet for all his wees and poos.

Thanks, VVV. Interesting to see another vote for bare-faced bribery. Role models also a good idea - do you know of any books showing pirates using potties? That WOULD impress her...

No, we just congratulated each other

We'd never have used bribery for DD, but, we didnt need to. She just wanted to do it of her own accord when she was 19 mths old.

We needed DS to start using the toilet before pre-school too. (BUt it wouldnt have mattered if he wasnt able to for them).