how do I stop bf?

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My dd is 12 months and still feeds 3 or 4 times a day. How do I get her to reduce/stop? She has reduced gradually from 12 feeds a day to 3/4 but seems to have stuck there. She has cow's milk on cereal and will take small sips from a beaker and drinks plenty of water but still wants to bf. Hwo much milk does she need at this age? or is it just a comfort/habit thing?

Hi there

Excellent that you've BF your DD this far. You've done well reducing the feeds to 3/4 from 12. And great that she's using a beaker. How did you approach that and over what period of time?

Have you tried dropping another feed? If so what happened to make you feel she is "stuck"? Re. amounts of milk required etc I got this from
www.babyworld.co.uk/information/baby/healthy_eating/eating_6_to_12_months.htm
6-12 months

"By the end of the first year, the recommended amount of milk is 600 ml a day (about a pint) - and that includes milk from other sources such as custards and yoghurt. More than this isn?t necessary, and some healthy babies take a lot less just because they don?t like it. A breastfed baby can feed as often as he wants to, but if he is only feeding once or twice, it?s sensible to make sure he has extra milk in a cup or in other foods."

BTW, I seem to remember stressing about how little cows milk my DD was drinking when she stopped BF at 12 months but she's 3.5 now and seems fine! I think you're right that it's def not just about nutrition. It's a delicate dance stopping but between you, you'll get it right!

Don't drop more than one feed at a time. At that age, could you try to distract her by changing the routine slightly so that a time usually taken for a feed is spent doing something else? I finally stopped bf completely at the beginning of the summer because instead of having a sit down after dinner (cue for a bf) we'd go out and play in the garden instead.

I have given her a beaker of water since I weaned her onto solids at 6 months and she took to it straight away. I bf when we get up between 6 and 7 as she cuddles me after I change her nappy and this is how she asks, by cuddling and sometimes patting my boob (great when in company (blush). Then she normally wants to feed again after lunch when she is getting tired and then before bed, but today she was hot and she fed in the park at 11am so she has fed 4 times again today. She had water in the park but wants milk too. If I offer her milk in a beaker she sips once or twice but won't actually drink much, everyday I put 50ml milk in her beaker and i'm lucky if she drinks 10ml of cows milk so I don't know how I can stop bf?

It's difficult isn't it? I don't know if there's a magic answer. Just keep trying different things. Distraction is a great technique ie maybe doing something exciting instead. Mind you from what she's said, she's feeding when she feels sleepy / just woken up. Finding a way to break the association with naps etc. Could you do something like a story / song and lots of snuggling at sleep time? Or maybe distracting her first thing in the morning with a game?

One of the tips you always see is to cuddle and give them lots of attention instead of the breast but it's tricky when they associate cuddling with feeding! Is there a funny cuddle game you could invent with the focus on giggling instead of feeding?

You will get there, it might take longer than mummy wants sometimes I suppose! I remember wanting strongly to give up and being emotional about it at the same time. Try to stay as calm as poss as she may pick up on it if she feels you don't want her to feed and may be more clingy.

I wouldn't worry too much about the amounts she's drinking (I remember worrying about this, my DD would only take sips from her cup here and there while her - mostly bottle drinking - buddies were downing huge amounts). Just keep offering milk and water esp in the heat and she'll take what she needs.

Also there might be some tips here:
www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/breastfeeding/weaning/weaning/

Good luck!

It's difficult I know, and I worried about it for a long time too.
At first I didn't offer any during the day, and was down to morning and night time only. After a few weeks, I stopped the morning one and offered cows milk with her breakfast, she seemed to like it warm. A couple of weeks later just stopped bedtime too (she was 14.5 months), gave her warm cows milk before her story, she didn't seem to notice, I think I was more upset that she was

Have managed only 3 feeds today and it was very hot so i will keep trying, thanks. She fed at 7am, and then not till 3.30pm so thgat was quite a long time and then at bed. I will try and push daytime one later and later till it merges with bedtime one.

why are you trying to get her to stop? (just curious, I mean!)

Tbh its mainly for me, I haven't had a break since she was born and think if she wasn't bf i might get more time to myself. I only planned to feed her for 6 months and then decided to do 12 months so she didn't have to have any formula. I have never expressed. we have a few family weddings and partys in a couple of months and i would prefer not to have to bf then, it's the night feed that i'd like to stop the most as i'm always here in the morning anyway but i miss my exercise classes as they are always early evening during the bedtime routine. Also i am having a minor op in september and will be in hospital for a day and i don't want her to be crying for milk while i'm away. if i thought she would self wean i would prefer to let it happen naturally but because she has been on 3/4 feeds for so long i think i need to push it.

hmm, well there was a thread on here last night with a link that suggested they don't naturally self-wean til they are 3-4years old, so if you're aiming for September looks like you will have to get busy!