I have been kicked this morning and hit this afternoon

[itati]

I feel like such a wimp

I'm not making myself clear . Of course a child of either gender should be made to feel bad about his/her aggressive actions. However, a child whose temperament is this way inclined should not be made to feel bad about their personality. It's the line between punishing the action and punishing the child for being what they are that bothers me!

I would conjecture that this aggressive streak is more common in boys than in girls, although obviously some girls are more than capable of being aggressive!

Dottoressa

Denying that SOME boys are made that way and saying boys tend to be violent are two VERY different statements. "Some" could be a very small minority. "Tend," by contrast - and by definition - means tendency. Which do you want to shoot for? Do you want to go down the route of arguing boys are more violent because of some sort of biological imperative? And in what proportion can this tendency be expressed, pray tell? 60-40 club wielding, hair dragging psychos to cathedral visiting, Aran tank-topped flower sniffers? Perhaps 70-30? 80-20? School me.

Or are you just going to cop out and tell me there's some sort of vague continuum yadderyadder, with a big clump of very slightly violent men in the middle - who, with just the "normal" amount of testosterone, manage to avoid killing their wives OR sit down of an evening with much treasured copies of Golden Hands.

If so - spare me.

Do I read the Guardian? Why - can you recommend me a good article?

Ok, Liz, I'll spare you, as I haven't investigated in detail the precise ratio of club-wielders to flower-sniffers. It is just as well I don't take offence easily, as I might otherwise think that your comment was aimed partly at my son, which would not be a very pleasant way to conduct a debate.

I think I might once have read a good article in the Guardian, but if I did, it escapes me now.

My own experience shows only that my Mummy-friends with sons have more problems with aggression than my Mummy-friends with daughters. I have also noticed that, if my son goes for a four-mile bike ride followed by a couple of hours playing tig and hide-and-seek in the garden with the children next door, he is less likely to be physically aggressive than if he has been cooped up all day in the rain!

My daughter, for her part, goes in for being verbally annoying when cooped up (nag, nag, whinge, whinge, I'm-going-to-wind-my-brother-up-so-he-kicks-me-and-gets-into-trouble-tee-hee).

Dottoressa, the gender argument is going round in circles, it's been discussed earlier in the post.

We'd all love to think we are in a post gender defining society , but lzinthesticks, that's ignoring the research and simply ignoring the blatantly obvious.

Yes we can as parents try and bend that. Tame the boys and give th girls more "balls".But we are in a post feminist society. We have some perspective today. It would be naive to deny the obvious.

oops, some of my post missing,

the obvious being: go to a payground, walk in a classroom and see how boys & girls behave and learn.

totally agree, slim.

disagree, slim

glad to see we can still have a civil conversation.
Anyway this is one of those classic mumsnet culture vs nurture. We'll never all agree and it will not help the OP.

Itati, I second reading raising boys. It's nothing earth shattering but gives good tips. Mainly that from around your eldest's age, they really benefit from having more male role models in their daily routine.

Well, I never guessed my thread would go like that!

My son has a very involved father but the fact is he has to work and is out from 7.45-6.15 every week day. He also has a grand father he sees fairly regularly and an uncle he sees less often. There is nothing I can do about the fact I have no family to give my child male role models. I am doing the best I can with what I have been given. FWIW I had the boys on my own for 2 hours today and then DH took DS1 swimming so he has had a good day, as have we all.

Now, don't get me started on my angel 3 year old who has discovered back chat, attitude and insults!

that's great!
you ARE doing your best. just take it one day at a time.
at 3 year old angel. Sounds like you've seen nothing yet!