How often do you tell your children that you love them - and what is their response??

[Jazzicatz]

Just told ds1 (age5) and he said "you are always saying that mummy - I know!!!"

[meep]

all the time - she is only one so she usually responds by giving me face pats!

[Thefearlessfreak]

Every day at least once....he looks quite pleased but doesn't have a real response yet (1.9) It's almost just for me...can't help saying it because i'm still surprised by how much i love him. It was slow burning with me...the first few months were grim at times.

[ssd]

I say it loads to my two

the eldest age 10 can be very loving for a boy his age and cuddles me when his pals aren't watching, wouldn't dream of doind this in front of them! the yougest at 7 still kisses and cuddles me, I suppose for all the bickering and huffing we're a very loving family

[ssd]

to all the posters here with young toddlers - keep saying how much you love your kids, you'll get it back one day in spades

[Prufrock]

Loads -I was never told it enough as a child so I do go ott a bit.
With dd(6) I say "I' want to tell you something" and she says "I know mummy - you love me, right" in a very exasperated teenager kind of a way.
DS(4) gives me kisses and when I ask what that was for,he says "just because I love you mummy" - makes my heart melt every time. And we have competitive loving - I love you, I love you too, I love you three etc which continues for a long long time until somebody says infinity - I credit it as being one of the reasons ds is so good at numbers.
And every night I kiss them in bed and say "mummy loves you, mummy see you in the morning"
I also make sure they know that I love them even when they are horrid or naughty, and that they know that there is nothing they can do that will ever stop me from loving them - It's incredibly important to me that they understand that my love for them is unconditional and not based on their behaviour.I think the message is getting through - when I say no to ds he will tell me he still loves me doesn't like me because I am being horrid.

[WaynettaSlob]

As often as I can (i.e loads of times every day)
4yo says "I love you too Mummy"
2yo says "I doveoo"

[edam]

Oh gosh, have never counted but dozens of times each day - as often as I can, really. Have made a resolution to stop calling him 'gorgeous' or 'angel' or 'sweetheart' in front of his friends now he is going into Yr1, though. I think it's just about to get embarrassing for him...

[ProfYaffle]

Whenever I remember, sometimes about 15 times a day, sometimes just at bedtime.

dd1 is ill at the moment so is feeling soppy and saying 'I love my pretty Mama' every 5 minutes (don't know where she got 'Mama' from)

dd2 is 17 months and can't actually say it but she has recently started doing proper hugs and squeezes my neck really tight

[bellavita]

I think though that some people do find it hard to be affectionate and say the L word.

I have never heard DH's family say I love you or even seen them kiss each other - they are like cold fishes.

DH will always respond to our DS's if they say "Dad I love you", but he never says it to them first, don't get me wrong though, he is affectionate to them, so I do think it has a lot to do with your upbringing.

[Blandmum]

Daily, at least once, and most often several times a day.

they say the same back, sometimes they do it without a prompt!

My family, while mildly affectionate never said this once. I onl;y remember my father saying it once to me. I can't ever remember my mother saying it....I suppose that she must have at some point

This is the reason for my overkill, I'm sure

[Fennel]

I don't say it all the time. It feels like overkill. To me, things become meaningless if you just keep repeating the same words. I say it sometimes, my dc and dp say it to me sometimes. But certainly not every day.

[bellavita]

I know tmmj, tis sad

[WaynettaSlob]

I'm similar MB - my family is very affectionate, but whereas my mother would tell me she loved me, and me her, I don't ever remember my dad saying it, or me saying it to him. I have tried to rectify that over recent years, but it feels strange saying it, so I ususally just throw it in at the end of the conversation "okay then, talk to you soon, loveyoubye" before I hang up the phone.

I love hearing DH say it to the boys, and hugging and kissing them - long may it last.

[sagacious]

Another one who's parents never said it to me.
Perhaps because of that
its not an automatic thing to say it, it doesn't sound right or natural but I'm getting there.

DD4 always says she loves me and cuddles like mad
DS6 squirms but then gives me a hug (usually on my back or leg so he doesn't see my face and get embarrassed)

I make sure I say it to both of them at least once a day.

[ChirpyGirl]

All the time, but if DD1 is paying attention she will think seriously and then say
'And I love dada.'

[VictorianSqualor]

No idea how much I say it, but at least twice a day to DD (when she leaves for school and bedtime) once a day to DS1&DS2 (bedtime).

Then at other times throughout the day I will grab one of them when they've done something to make me smile and say "I love you,, I love you I love you, I love you!!!" whilst squeezing them very tightly, they pretend not to like it but I know they do

Oh also, when I check on them before I go to bed I go in, tuck them in, stroke their heads give them a kiss and say it then as well but I don't know if they know I do that!

[gscrym]

All the time. Recent responses have been -

'I love you too, more than sweets'
'I love you too, more than cows'
'I love you too, more than the pink or yellow ranger'.

I'm most pleased with the last one as he wants to marry the pink ranger.

[Hulababy]

All the time to 6y DD. Normally I get nice responses back, or I am saying it response to her telling me similar.

[Lemontart]

My parents rarely ever said it to us in direct "I love you" words, but then they rarely show much emotion positive or negative. Never seen them cry/argue etc Yes, seen them pleased and happy but not much else! It has had a really bad effect on me - I feel awkward kissing/hugging friends hello/goodbye, can?t imagine crying in front of anyone, even DH etc etc.
I have made a massive effort with DDs and cuddle, kiss, hug them all the time, constantly telling them how wonderful they are and how much I love them. Not going to let them turn into emotionally reserved, uptight kids like I was!
Interestingly, my parents have become more touchy feelly with my children than they ever were with me and my mum regularly tells them how much she loves them. Still can?t hug or kiss me - probably too weird to start after all this time

[fillybuster]

Lots...no idea how often but at least every time I say goodbye and every bedtime with probably a minimum of one random one in-between.

There's loads of kisses and cuddles here too - we're a very cuddly/huggy family all the time, as well as having group cuddles every evening before bed!

DS (nearly 3) has started coming to find me to tell me he loves me , give me a hug and then go back to whatever he was doing before.

I tell DD (5 months) quite a lot too, generally when she's giggling away on her changing mat or having a cuddle after a feed...but does telling a baby count?!

[Stargazer]

So often, I've lost count!! We have a game when we ask the DC "how much do I love you?", they reply "oodles and loads" or "not any" depending on their mood, it usually ends up as a big huggle

I can't imagine not telling the kids and DH and my mum how much I love them - fortunately, I get told I'm loved too - my big DS (12) sometimes gives me a spontaneous hug - which is wonderful, because he couldn't stand cuddles when he was little.

I have to agree with Custy though - sometimes, I have to ask what they're after .

[AuntyJ]

Every morning and when I kiss them goodnight and probably a couple of times in the day.
I was emotinally starved by my parents as a child I dont ever remember being told that I was loved or being hugged so I swore I would never do that when I had children.
DD 3.7 always says she loves me too. DS 6mths just smiles.