Did I bottle out?

[josiecat]

I was at the playground near school this afternoon with DD(5,mild SN) and DS(3). There were a few other kids and mums there including a boy in DDs class. His mum was there chatting to others. I was keeping a closer eye on DCs as they can be tired and a bit wobbly at that time. Anyway, I noticed this boy was being a bit rude and unpleasant to DD. She was trying to be friendly but he would ignore her or run away. Then I saw him squeeze her arm. I went over and asked if she was ok. She said yes and acted like it was a game, she ran after him and
flapped at him like she was play fighting. I diverted her at this point. The boy then appeared with his bike and rode it at DS who turned and ran. The boy rode after him and DS became upset and ran screaming into my arms. I picked him up and he calmed down after a minute. Boys mum was within 10 feet of this but chatting. I told boy not to chase DS on his bike as he was frightend. He replied "I don't like her(DD)so I'm chasing him." I told him to stop. I looked for DD, she was hiding behinda tree "so he wouldn't hurt her." I decided it was time for home. As we were leaving DD said bye to this boy. He replied "I'm not saying bye to you" and rode off. I was mad but didn't say anything to his mum. She's quite stroppy and I avoid confrontations as much as possible but would you have said something?

No, I would have done as you did and scuttled away seething, but then I'm a coward .

In situations like this you just have to keep telling yourself you don't know what her life is like, she might not have been able to deal with one more kid-related scene, etc. etc. but I know it's easier said than done.

I'd love to think that I'd have strode confidently up to her and pointed out the terrible behaviour of her child and not cared at all about her response because I was doing the right thing...

Actually I would have done exactly as you did and avoided the confrontation. I've had a few incidents with my ds where he has been hit by older boy at playgroup and mum is too busy chatting to notice. I just removed ds and scuttled away. So don't worry your not alone in that reaction .

You didn't bottle out. You behaved impeccably. You showed your kids that sometimes it's better to just remove yourself calmly from an iffy situation. Well done.

You did the right thing. How would confronting her have improved the situation? It seems this is standard behaviour from her children if she didn't notice.

Best to give your dc a better example by walking away and talking to them about it later.