What do grandparents spend on your dcs for their bdays?

[skippythedogfromthesea]

Just curious really....amounts spent from rich poor and in between grandparents would be interesting...

Post is triggered by disparity between what ds's grandparents sent him for his bday despite the fact I'd guess they are very similar in terms of wealth (probably fairly average I'd guess).

Quattro - have you asked them why? It's really odd isn't it. Consistently doing this is surely sending a bad message to your ds.

Seeker - in answer to your qns - I was really just curious. I don't tot up the cost of gifts and wouldn't do that if they gave actual presents but they give cash or vouchers - it is transparent.

I suppose I asked as I wondered if GP1 were overly-generous and what GP2 give is more the norm iyswim.

But of course it must vary so much between families.

Anyway, I am very grateful for the gifts and shall be squirelling away the money in ds's bank account for when he is older.

My dad and step-mum give money - usually £50 - to be spent on something nice or put into savings. My mum buys books and toys, and is, IMO, excessively scrupulous about spending the same amount on each child, and is v careful that one doesn't have lots more presents to open than the other, even if the lots are cheaper. this drives me insane, tbh - I don't care, the kids don't care (oldest is my nephew, 4, all others under 3), me, DH, bro and SIL don't care. But I can see it might be handy when they're older - think v obvious inequality is unkind and unfair.

MIL spends quite a lot throughout the year, and will buy one big item (eg a trike) and some clothes and smaller bits for birthdays.

I think my DC get too much, but GPs won't hear of it...

Yes poor DS He is lovely too.

As to whether I've asked why, it's always been too difficult for me to mention. It's so ingrained not to question the value and to be grateful for what we receive etc etc all of which is very true.

It's just I feel sorry for DS. The disparity is so glaring.

I'm shocked at the OP - why does it matter how wealthy or not the grandparents are? It's up to them to decide how much they want to spend and I'm not bothered either way and neither are kids IME - if they get something they like it doesn't matter how much it costs surely?

£25 or £30.

Both sets are of the opinion that very large presents are OTT. We agree.

Quattro that is

inlaws - usually money to go in their accounts, £20-£50
my parents - about a fiver each
great grandparent - money to go in account, about £50-£100

Depends what they need or want (within reason) at the time. No set amount, even though both sets are reasonably well off.

Tis the thought which counts - would prefer the beautiful dress MIL for DD1 (£28 with label in case I needed to change) which DD1 loves and MIL really loved buying to a cheque for £100.

Depends what they need or want (within reason) at the time. No set amount, even though both sets are reasonably well off.

Tis the thought which counts - would prefer the beautiful dress MIL for DD1 (£28 with label in case I needed to change) which DD1 loves and MIL really loved buying to a cheque for £100.

£10 - £15

Gobblidegook - sorry I'm confused are you shocked at the OP or Quattro?

I totally see why Quattro is bothered by this - there is clearly a massive disparity in how much the GPs are spending on the two siblings.

If it is my OP - I mentioned their financial status generally because if I hadn't the first thing many people would have said is 'well have you thought that perhaps one of them has a lot more money than the other'.

My side - £100. My mum is stupidly generous but spends "exactly the same on every grandchild".

ILs - about £20.

£20

for each of 3 kids and the same for the total 7 grandkids

praents v poor

mil varies between extremes as in anything else

we're grateful to all

p.s. Gobbledi - I guess my OP might have been badly-worded - I just meant I was interested in anybody regardless of their financial situation.

Around £10-£50

Although my parents often spend even less due to the fact that my everso talented father makes a lot of things for the boys. They are the best presents I could ever hope for. But the cost is in hours, not pounds.

Have to say that the more expensive toys are usually the more thoughtless ones IME

I am shocked by the lack of good old fashioned gratitude and the ridiculous materialism here You don't want to sound ungrateful?! But your ingratitude sparked this thread.

Thats just wrong Id have to say something.Id rather they both have nothing that unequal presents. Son must wonder why?

Quattro has a genuine complaint - as the two children are being treated differently by the same person (unnecessarily cruel).

The OP is talking about the monetary value of gifts bought by different GPs (crude, materialistic, and incredibly common)

I meant the OP not Quattro.

It is all relative though seeker, for some people a 100 quid isn't much of a problem.

Neither GPs worry about sending gifts to the boy whil we are here in the UK. They call him on his birthday and that is plenty - he doesn't need any more stuff but he does need to know them.

This year we did spend a stupid amount, but I think it is worth saying that he gets basically nothing outside of Birthday/Christmas - through the year if there is a toy or something that he wants we tell him to wait, then check again closer to the time if that is still the sort of thing he wants.

my mum & dad spend between £10 and £15 for birthdays (usually clothes ) and spends the same on all 10 grandchildren, (thankfully birthdays are spread out) and £50 each for xmas.

my mil nothing, not a thing ever! although my dd (10yr old) asked her why they never have a card or present/money they dont even phone to wish them happy birthday. xmas is usually just a card and a selection box. but dh and i usually get £150 for xmas and dh gets £50 for his birthday.

Suppose it depends on how much money they have. If my dad spends £10 then that is alot for him, the others probably spend £20-£30.

When the children were small, my parents would buy something useful, like a trip trap chair, and also something small to unwrap.
Now, my parents spend around £20.
PILs dont spend anything for birthdays. They call them. They are not wealthy. We dont expect anything. My oldest have started asking why. But MIL will sometimes send something to them randomly with other family members.

Quattro, that is so sad. Have you ever spoken to them about it?

My parents always spent around £25 on my nephews. (both Christmas and birthdays)

Unfortunately DD doesn't have any living grandparents, so she get £0.00 (if anyone here is interesting in becoming adopted GP then I am sure she would be very happy with £15 - £50 ..

My mum spends loads as she buys throughout the year and ends with anything up to 10 things, on both Xmas and birthday. DH's mum will ring up two days before each occasion and asks us to get something for her and she'll give us up to £15 when she next sees us. HOWEVER DH's mum does put money into dd's account every month so probably actually spends more, or pretty much the same. I would think that altogether they each spend about £150 a year (which I think is too much tbh).

They both have a lot of spare cash.